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I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator.
Iman Gadzhi – Agency Incubator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Over the span of 20+ hours, Agency Incubator has training that covers EVERY aspect of building an agency. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! You name it... signing clients, running killer Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you!
The lessons inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator course include:
1. Foundations
2. Mindset
3. Systems & Processes
4. Finding Leads and Setting Meetings
5. Sales
6. Service Delivery
7. Operational Supremacy…
… and more!
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Entertainingly, when I messaged my boss about the fact I was leaving a few days in advance, I received no reply or calls at all. Today my workday and dayforce have been disabled so I guess it's official now lol! Starting pay is leagues better and raises are so much better and more frequent too.
Since I did not receive any correspondence from him, I will ask y'all here - in regards to accrued PTO that was scheduled/approved to be taken in a month from now, will that be paid out to me? I had 30-some hours saved up.
Separately, if any of you guys were hedging on if you should stay or go, snag a job elsewhere, then free yourself from the petco chains - the literal ones, because even if the environment is good at your store it is a dead end job that will suffocate you, unless you don't need extra cash and enjoy the work, then by all means! My store was okay, some unpleasant coworkers, but I also had coworkers I really liked. No one really enjoys working there anymore unless it's interacting with animals - VCP harassment, bag fee harassment, disgusting owners who don't clean up after their animals, screaming children SQUEAKING TOYS constantly and smacking aquariums, people trying to put animals in tiny enclosures and refusing to listen to any reasonable advice. There's the reverse where people are really excited to own a new animal *and* give it a good life, but between the heat rocks and the 1.2gs and ~specially ordered~ $1000+ reptiles and TEGUS that don't sell for half a year, stuck in a tiny terrarium, inappropriate substrate and inappropriate handling? Infuriating.
You guys wouldn't believe how many complaints I made in my time working here only for almost none of it to be addressed. Yes, let's have the person with the least exotic animal experience become the CAL and not give her any training! Dropping chameleons? No biggie. Carry a skink or said tegu on your head? That's totally fine. Have an unrestrained flighted conure sit on your shoulder for an entire shift while you handle and feed snakes and other animals? Totally acceptable. I couldn't possibly forget the amount of bird shit at the register and around the store that was left uncleaned for weeks, and likely is still there now. I'm just frustrated at the fact she has hurt and put so many animals at risk and it's like no one gives a shit. I tell the GM and he's just like well what can you do, or an "I'll talk to her." and it's all so fake because nothing actually gets changed. I alert about illness in animals and I see that animal for sale for another week until it gets *really* sick or stays the same and either deteriorates and dies or it gets sold sick, or spreads the illness to all the other animals in the cage for the nth time. It's disgusting. It's just frustrating working somewhere that supposedly values animal welfare but even when customers complain about it, nothing changes. The 'funniest' encounter I had was when I saw that same CAL have a juvie blue-tongue skink just... clinging to her shoulder, trying not to slide off while she walked around without holding on to him. I told her she needs to hold on to him and not leave him dangling because they can't climb well and he could die from a drop like that, at the minimum get seriously injured. Like the poor thing was literally about to tumble. But I just got an, "I do this all the time and he's always been fine." and a "We aren't going to see eye to eye on this." Just because he has managed to HANG ON before doesn't mean he will always be able to cling to a vertical, moving surface 6 feet off the ground. Like are you kidding me. I could go on for a hot minute about this CAL honestly lmao. She got in trouble for carrying around the bird all day, so the verdict was just to continue wearing the bird like an accessory, except when the DGM comes by, then oh wow, where's the bird? In it's cage? How convenient. I literally watched this happen each time. She KNOWS she is doing wrong and is trying not to get caught and the GM is LETTING IT HAPPEN. But it makes sense, because VCP is what really matters, right? /s
So, the TLDR here is just find somewhere else before it gets worse. It will get worse. I have never had a job more frustrating than this one and it wasn't even about the workload for me lol. So off I go, to a much healthier and less frustrating environment where I can actually do my work in peace and not be a witness to animal abuse I can do next to nothing about. My only regret is that I didn't leave sooner.

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Contact me if you are interested in Iman Gadzhi Courses by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have all Iman Gadzhi courses (Agency Navigator, Agency Incubator, Copy Paste Agency).
Iman Gadzhi’s courses are one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency and how to grow it.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The courses of Iman Gadzhi include the following:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
3. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
4. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements, Live calls & More
   

The core concepts in Iman Gadzhi’c courses include:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi’s courses, contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Friend found a cool upgrade weapon legendary. It was account bound he couldn't use it.
Loving the game but thats really not fair to us. It makes it more cooperative quite frankly I don't care if it stops black market trading let the cheaters who pay for items do so I don't give a damn. But I wanted to trade with friends so it feels like we are mutually invested during co-op.
It still feels co-op don't get me wrong but it feels like we are seperate entities unable to interact beyond just finding our own gear. Trade is what made diablo 2 so fun for me.

I 23 (f) feel like an outcast from my partner 22(m) and best friend 22 (f)
For context sakes, I have a friend whom I live with and have been close to for almost a decade. I started dating my partner almost a year ago because this friend introduced us into the same group. They’re both fantastic to me and I know they care, but all the time I have to work on the weekend where they both have weekends off. I do get FOMO but it just makes me sad and not want to be at work. Recently it’s been another source of stress because my partner is conveying me as someone who’s angry that they go do things together without like go to festivals or binge drink together. For me I feel that I just miss out sometimes but I could honestly care less what they do while I work. I’m more introvert while they are extrovert and I have to pay my bills ya’know. Tonight it came to a head where my partner criticized my eating habit tonight (I worked a busy double at a restaurant and didn’t have time) where they went to a food festival together. I said sorry I didn’t have time but y’all did go to this festival without me and got food. He then flipped out and accused me of being angry that he has a life and that I just would like him to do nothing but be miserable. It destroyed me a bit to hear nonetheless because I hate that he of all people thinks that about me. My friend enters the room and without me getting a word in says to her “she’s being exactly how I told you” “I’m in the dog house, probably have to sleep in my car tonight”. My friend said nothing and if anything was worried about me. I just feel very isolated and embarrassed. Am I justified in this feeling? How should I move forward? I just removed myself and left my partner and friend to their drinking and apologized for any misunderstanding I caused.

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
   
2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
   
3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
   
4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
   
5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
   

The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!
To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Hey guys!
TLDR at bottom
Some background context, we were walking our 10yo GreatDanexMastiff with some doggy friends. We get to the offleash area at the park and I see this big Husky strutting around and I get a little worried. My dog is really friendly unless it's an unneutered male (my dog is fixed). His bully breed tendencies come out and he doesn't submit in a fight so I avoid any male dogs that could present a problem. He is an open book usually, you can tell immediately if he doesn't like another dog I'm new to the area and the people I was walking with warned me that this Husky is rather aggressive and tends to attack a lot of the other dogs including their dog on 2 occasions. I leashed my dog and was trying to leave. His dog came up and there was a little altercation I managed to break up by kicking a stick at the Husky feet while gribbing the collar on my dog. The guy then proceed to say DW it'll be a good lesson if his dog gets bitten by mine. I'm less than impressed and told him my dog is 10, I don't want him getting into a fight with an unfixed Husky in his prime that will be incredibly vicious. So I told him I would leave since he clearly wasn't willing to put a leash on his dog. We left with our dogs to a different park entirely. Everything is going great until I see the husky and now another dog, whom based off everyone elses reaction is also trouble. It's an oval with one entrance and they have to walk down a hill to get in so they most definitely saw us. We leash up the dogs and leave, husky comes over to investigate again so I give my partner the leash and block the Husky and tell him to back off - he does. We throw him a ball and off he goes.
Not long after we are at another area just letting the dogs have a last quick run before heading off (I didn't trust the owner and husky to not follow us again) when suddenly over the hill the husky appears heading straight for my dog. It's right next to me but It happens so quickly. It was a horrifically vicious dog fight, when I tried to pull the husky off by his legs he had his teeth sunk in my dogs skull and was tearing it open, I was too scared getting bitten to do much more than try and throw my jumper between them to break line of sight and attempt to snag the husky while the guys trying to pull them apart. At some point the owner comes sprinting up, body slams into his dog kicking and punching, we pull my dog away and separate them.
At this stage I'm seeing red because he kept following us, I told him the dogs don't get along and there was just no control by him. I start yelling at him that he is irresponsible and some choice words for following us and that he is responsible for his dog attacking mine. He looks ready to square up to me but apparently my partner is staring him down over my shoulder and he walks away saying he's being nice to me today.
I look at my dog and see the extent of the damage and loose my mind again. I demand he pay my vet bills and owe up to his fault, he tells me to fuck off so I call him a coward - Not the best way to handle the situation but I felt furious and it felt good dressing down a man 3x my size if I'm being honest.
We call the cops, they can't do anything. I'm currently on a 1k vet bill and he may loose his eye. What can I do in this situation? In hindsight I should have left after he followed me the first time and probably not blown up at him so much but just based off the encounters I have heard from the other dog owners I didn't feel like being another women he bullies around
I know that reality is that if his dog is taken away from him it'll get put down. I don't blame his dog at all, a dog is a dog after all but it's a big aggressive dog that's has a attack histor that he isn't being responsible with and never has on a leash from what I've been told. He would have killed my dog if we hadn't separated them, and what if someone less experienced or younger who doesn't know what to do in that situation gets in the crossfire.
TLDR: my dog got viciously attacked by an aggressive uneutered husky, police said they can't do anything, vet bill is already at 1k and owner refused to take ownership of his loss of control. We have the dog's name and photos of him and his dog. Other people have had his dog attack theirs before and apparently multiple complaints have been submitted. Has anyone got any idea what to do here?
Sorry for the wall of text and any grammaformating issues. On my phone and angry all over again writing this out

As table setting, I haven’t listened to MBMBaM in three years, give-or-take, so I have no clue what the modren era (😎) of the show is like. However, I have been hate-listening to a different podcast enough that I’ve actually turned a corner into liking it, so I feel spiritually ready for this. Plus I’m a little drunk, which has never been a bad decision for anybody ever.
0:00 - I’ve always kind of disliked the intro, especially the “cool baby” part, and sadly that has not changed with time.
0:20 - First time hearing the new theme song, which is fine if a little twee for my taste. I weirdly hate how they deliver the “1, 2, 3, 4” up top, but that’s just nitpicky. We can’t all be DeeDee Ramone, you know?
1:10 - Introductions. Travis introduces himself as “noted intellectual and middlest brother”, and Griffin just says “…And I’m Griffin… McElroy”. I didn’t laugh, but I did actually find that slightly funny, so I’m optimistic for how this goes.
1:35 - Justin has invented a new game that he wants to play called “Simply the Guests” where he tells them who guested on a celebrity’s podcast and they have to guess the celebrity. Travis points out that the title is a touching tribute (to Tina Turner, he clarifies a few seconds later) and there’s a bit where Justin and Griffin pretend not to know she died that Justin interrupts with a parody song. Is this too soon? I can’t tell, but I also only get my celebrity death news from Simpsons memes.
2:31 - I’ve had to pause and restart enough times that I’ve realized how shitty the web player is, since I have to click like three times before it registers as being on the page and actually trying to play instead of just highlighting the button, and if I try to click the 15 second rewind button it usually skips to the ~11 minute mark right above the button. However, I refuse to actually download the episode because if I do that, Jesse Thorne wins.
2:38 - My voice teacher would not approve of Justin’s technique.
2:58 - Justin only has one round prepared, but expects it will take longer than they expect. Griffin rightly questions if it’s actually possible to play this game based on the information that will be provided. Travis says that sometimes when he comes up with a game, it’s like when you start off at level 1 fighting Sephiroth and die, but it just takes you to a cutscene and is all part of the game. I’m struggling to think of games he’s come up, which is maybe a metaphor for how I never finished FFVII. Justin says it should be easy if their heads are on a swivel, and 50-50 if they’re half paying attention.
4:30 - Justin is giving the guests in order as they’ve appeared: Billy Ray Cryrus, John Carter Cash, Billy Bush, Albert Pujols. Griffin laughs and makes a joke about how his head is on a swivel but it hurts, and I’m shocked and a little disappointed that it wasn’t a joke about how one of the greatest Cardinals of all time has a name that’s pronounced “Poo Holes”.
5:00 - The next guests listed Adam Carrolla, Clint Black, and Gary Busey. Travis incorrectly guesses Blake Shelton. Justin says Katie Couric was the next guess, and Griffin’s postulation of Kevin Sorbo is apparently pretty close.
6:10 - Dr. Drew is the next guest. Travis asks if they would be willing to guest, and Justin says he likes to think they’d have a nice long talk about it. Griffin guesses Randy Quaid. Justin neither confirms nor denies, but instead finishes listing the guests - Sharon Stone, Martin Short, Mike Lindell (the MyPillow CEO), Jim Brown, and Anthony Fauci. I actually kind of like this game, because what the fuck? 8:40 - Justin says he’ll give them an episode title for any celeb mentioned. Travis picks Sharon Stone, who covered “Pandemics, Social Justice Movements, and Animal Actors”. Griffin picks Pujols, who covers “Baseball, Downs Syndrome, and Living the American Dream”, and asked if there were other baseball players on the list.
10:05 - Justin admits he skipped Jimmy Morris because he didn’t know who that is. I didn’t either, but I have the power of Google and in the time it took him to explain why he was skipped, learned that he starting playing for Tampa Bay Devil Rays when he was 35 and The Rookie was based on him.
10:30 - Travis and Griffin discuss “Sorbo adjacent” celebrities and Justin scolds them for not talking to each other, saying that’s what a podcast is and that he’s trying to do a podcast. To paraphrase a joke from Jon Gabrus, it’s three straight white men talking, we already know it’s a podcast.
11:30 - Travis suggests Dennis Quaid, since he has a strong connection to baseball and Christ. Griffin agrees and Travis is in fact correct. Ironically, that means that Jimmy Morris was probably the most helpful clue, since Dennis Quaid starred in The Rookie. Justin offers a bonus for naming the show, and says it’s something with “Dennis”. Griffin accurately guesses “The Dennissance”.
13:45 - Justin mentions Morris was the titular rookie, and claims that people forget Dennis Quaid. They discuss the Quaid siblings a bit and advise Dennis to get back in the podcasting game.
15:15 - First question of the episode: “My boyfriend and I were looking for a bar before your Columbus TAZ show and walked by one that looked empty and not our vibe, but it had tinted windows so it was hard to tell. We walked to another bar and inside the door person flagged us down and said someone was looking for us. We were already inside this other bar when the woman who was working at the first bar said she saw us looking in and said “Please come into my bar - we have cheaper drinks. We were confused and startled and decided to stay at the bar we were already at, but we weren’t sure if we regretted it because this person went to the effort to chase us down half a block, cross a busy street, went through a revolving door to get to us. Also, the drinks at the bar were expensive. Should we have gone back to the other bar instead?” - Confused in Columbus. Not to brag, but I’ve been to a lot of bars in my lifetime and can say with some confidence this didn’t happen.
16:05 - They immediately answer that, no, they should not have gone back to the other bar. Travis accurately points out that weird pursuit aside, if they have that little business then 100% of the focus would be on them. Griffin thinks they would have had a tremendous amount of power and would get their drinks immediately, and the bartender might have cool stories. They discuss how bad the design of this bar is that it’s impossible to see inside, both because they crave attention and so that someone will notice in case they go missing.
18:45 - Travis says if he ran a restaurant across from another restaurant, he would go up to patrons at the competitor and try to lure them away. Apparently Tom Green did this with pizza delivery as a TV show, and Justin thinks he would have Shark Tank’d it if it was a viable option.
19:36 - Travis says Tom Green would’ve probably called it “Shart Tank”. I laughed out loud.
20:00 - Griffin says in Austin they basically have to have barkers for the various bars given the amount of competition for foot traffic and Justin thinks they should just go for hyper-local advertising.
21:00 - Travis offers Griffin an investment opportunity, claiming he needs angel investors. Justin is incensed that he isn’t offered the chance, and Griffin says it’s because he has no money but maybe his “crypto shit’s gonna pay off some day”. Justin says he doesn’t have “crypto shits unless I’ve been eating cryp-tacos” (Griffin pitches crypto-salsa) and that Superman hates cleaning up Krypto shits.
21:44 - Travis points out that Superman named his dog after a thing he hates. I swear this had to be a Seinfeld joke at some point, since the two things I know about Jerry Seinfeld are (a) he loves Superman and (b) he’s not funny. Actually, I know a third thing, which is that he dated a 17-year-old when he was 38. Anyway, fuck that guy.
21:50 - Travis pitches having a long stretch of connected bars by buying all the existing bars and knocking down the connecting walls. Griffin and Justin point out that’s essentially the Disneyland model, and Justin mentions the Goofy sour balls.
21:51 - I Googled “Goofy sour balls” and thankfully it was a real candy. Griffin indignantly says that they stopped making them and that “Goofy took his sour balls away”. Travis says “He washed them” and they ignore him. I laughed out loud again, man’s really winning me back. They continue on this riff, making more and worse versions of the same joke.
24:07 - Question 2: “I’m enrolled in summer college courses. In one of my classes, a guy in front of me likes to stretch backwards over his chair with his eyes closed. His head basically ends up right on my desk and he will breathe in my face. I’ve had to move my laptop to stop him from laying on it. Am I the weird one for staring at the guy as he disrupts all my belongings and my personal space? He does it more than five times a class. It’s very awkward and makes it hard to focus on the lecture. Should I say something? Help me brothers, how do I stop this stretching bandit from stealing my peace of mind?” - Cramped College Co-Ed in Canada.
24:57 - Justin has an immediate suggestion. I assume it’s the actual solution, which is to say something like an adult or just switch seats, but nope, it’s the old chestnut of put some jelly on it. Griffin suggests surprise massage. Travis clarifies that they’re definitely ignoring the “excuse me, could you not do that” option, which Griffin confirms because it’s not very funny. This takes me back to when I used to regularly listen, since part of the driving force for me stopping was the sheer number of questions that could be solved by two seconds of slightly awkward conversation. I totally get it, social anxiety is a bitch and I’ve absolutely been there, but the lack of funny kinda stems from the question. They all agree, and Travis suggests adding broken glass to the jelly.
26:57 - Griffins goes back to the massage suggestion, with “dual percussive massagers”. Justin suggests hovering over them and saying “There’s my sweet boy” and Travis suggests a “little kiss on the forehead” which, thankfully, they immediately shoot down. Still, I’m uncomfortable.
28:00 - Justin points out that, if someone actually followed the advice they give, the problem would be solved, it’s just a question of consequences. There’s some more discussion of the Quaids but my spirit is a little broken and I can’t bring myself to rewind to accurately transcribe any of it.
29:43 - Money Zone: Travis says, “Well Justin,” and Justin misidentifies him as Griffin. So far, hardest laugh of the episode. The ad is for Zocdoc, which Justin mispronounces a lot. I assume any service that advertises on a podcast is actually just a money laundering scheme, medical stuff doubly so, but it does remind me that MaxFun podcasts are the only ones where I can tell the ad copy was done in a single take with no edits. I admire it, in a way. 32:45 - A MaxFun ad for “Just the Zoo of Us”, which is apparently a podcast where they rate animals on their “effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics”. It kind of worked on me, which is to say I’m debating the merits of getting a Zoobooks subscription as a childless woman approaching her thirties.
33:30 - A MaxFun ad for “Feeling Seen”, where the editor likes to play the game of taking a sip of coffee anytime the guest says how good a question is, how smart the host is, or cries unexpectedly. I cannot stress enough how much this makes me not want to listen. I don’t even have anything snide to say, I’m just genuinely put off by it.
34:19 - Griffin introduces the Wizard of the Cloud: How to “Talk Nerdy” to someone, which is meant to help you talk to the “cute nerd in your science class” by becoming more adorkable to them. Justin and Travis are disgusted by the word “adorkable”, which feels like a real split with their brand of appealing to mid-2010s Tumblr users.
36:00 - Travis points out that this article presupposes that nerdy people only want to be seduced with nerdy things, and will shun all other romance. The original pickup line is “Are you a carbon sample? Because I definitely want to date you. If you’ve seen The Big Bang Theory, you already know science and physics nerds are the best” Travis punches it up with “I’ve got a theory that we should Big Bang.” Currently he’s batting a thousand for me.
36:55 - Wikihow asks “Can math be sexy?” They talk about how sexy 8 is and Travis makes a 69 joke, so I retract my previous statement. There’s a gross astronomy-based pickup line saying “Do you mind if my comet enters your solar system” and “Hey, nice asteroids”. Mercifully, no “Can I touch Uranus?”
38:30 - More bad pickup lines, now about computers. Apparently “You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop” is a good come-on. The video game lines are equally impressive, and Wikihow recommends that distracting gamers away from their games is easier said than done. These are more sexually charged than before, but no more clever.
43:30 - We’ve arrived at Star Wars. Wikihow says “Jedis are tough nuts to crack, so you may need to use the Force to woo them effectively.” It’s been a while, but I’m fairly certain Jedis aren’t allowed to fall in love and that’s kind of a whole thing with the prequel trilogy. Also, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Cuz Jesus, they should take a second pass at that.
43:46 - Wikihow suggests several “Yoda-approved pickup lines”, and they do some bad Yoda impressions like “pull down some trim, you will” and “wet, you will get”. This is apparently a thing they’ve done before called “Clipping Yoda”. Justin makes a “something something something, I thought they smelled bad on the outside” joke.]
46:08 - They discuss the very limited situations when the suggested “I find your lack of nudity disturbing” is acceptable, then move on to the Lord of the Rings lines which are equally questionable. Travis brings up the theory that Frodo doesn’t know Legolas’ name, and now I wanna rewatch LotR.
50:09 - Justin suggests coming up with their own lines, which results in “You make me feel like John Rhys-Davies in Sliders, cuz I wanna climb in those holes” and Griffin looking up “nerd movies”.
51:40 - Question 3: “My bank has been advertising a home ownership service to help folks buy and sell homes. I usually ignore them, but this time they’ve been offering a chance to win a flattop grill package with a $100 gift card to a very expensive butcher. I’ve been really wanting to get my dad a new grill. Brothers, I have no way of buying a house, let alone sell one. They’re contacting me, trying to help me buy a house. How do I explain to them I’m only entered to maybe win the grill and have no interest in the service?” From the Poor Hopeful in B (?).
53:00 - First of all. Second, they suggest the asker (a) admits they were only in it for the grill or (b) saying they have a budget of $750 for a furnished home. It devolves into a riff about Bobby Flay and pitches for “Flay Bobby Flay” and “Bob Bobby Flay” to see if he floats.
56:15 - Plugs for stuff and the end of the episode.
Closing Thoughts: I actually enjoyed that, although with a lot of stopping and starting to write this. Also anyone who likes Clipping Yoda may also like Action Boyz, because pedophile Yoda is a surprisingly rich vein to mine. I don’t think I’ll ever actually pick up listening again, since I have about 280 episodes of Off Book to get to first and this whole recap has made me really contemplate my mortality, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it

——-Back to Fluff and Justice before I go onto talk about our path to bring tomorrow into today!!! To finally see the beautiful 🚀 that we all know we deserve!
I love you Robbie, Byron, Ryan Cohen and team, your 🦍s, your Gmericans 💜 but this is our story!! I’m sorry it’s not gonna be Web 3 Gaming nor DeFi nor NFT asset gold rush setting off MOASS! It will be us, we have watched the failed CEXs that have been kicking their failure can and Web3 gamings horizon is still a year out, and Brand Names aren’t quite pulling in the attention needed. BULLISH and 🦍ish as I am on all of these things! Knowing full well everyone single one has the captivity to set off MOASS, I still KNOW it’s US, the many who wish to start their lives now! it’s going to be 🦍s!, we are here and we’re pissed 😡 2 Fuking years!!! No more!! we will take our future into our own 💎 Crusted 🙌s, we will light this 🚀 and take charge 🏴‍☠️ we will take the world by the hand! And we will show it LOVE !!! Im tired of waiting to HELP, I’m tired of waiting to be PAID, this is our RIGHT, this is our Justice! And no longer shall it be delayed !!!!!!!! So please hear me roar!!! Hear me cry!!!! Hear me love!!!! Poor your hearts out!!! Let the truth out!!! Let’s finally take our place! For we have EARNED it. This is our FUTURE and it starts NOW because Financial Markets move Overnight!! So when you read this next section, when you understand clearly how they harm us and stop us, don’t attack instead step forward with love, we have a new world 🦍s, a new gaming economy, this is our world now 🦍s so choose love ❤️, the world needs it so badly and we have all the opportunity in the world to choose love 💙 I truly love all of you with all my being and I truly wish for the best for all of you 💜

4 The best kind of MOASS 🦍s MOASS:

We have read from our Web3 Gaming Partner and from our DeFi partner, and we have seen how much potential lies in GameStops NFT MP, so now let’s read from our own Financial Expert, Investor turned Executive, Buyer of the Stonk! Larry (Fuking) Cheng💜, it’s a long quote, I’ll bold the parts I’m mainly using to explain what it means, plus an article and sources to back it up. “Been thinking about a simple explanation/theory of why private market multiples are higher than public market multiples right now. Sometimes extremes better illustrate a point: If, hypothetically, 30-year treasuries were paying 20% tomorrow, trillions of capital in public equity would immediately flow into treasuries. However in the same scenario, no dollars would flow out from private equity to treasuries because of illiquidity at the company level and blind pool commitments at the fund level - it can’t flow out. Public equity multiples would absolutely crater because capital would leave. Private equity multiples would become more “disciplined” but not crater because the amount of capital in the asset class would be the same. To a lesser degree, that’s why in a rising rate environment right now, we are seeing private market multiples that are higher than public market ones. Which multiple environment is more correct - public or private? It depends on the rate environment. If rates are rising, then private market multiples will gradually moderate down towards public multiples over time. If rates are declining, then public market multiples will more quickly moderate up towards private market multiples once that rate path is clear.”. basically interest rates are connected to price discovery (MOASS), so as promised heres an article that’s also explains it in a shorter quote “giving monetary officials fresh ammo to pause their aggressive policy-tightening campaign, attention on Wall Street is shifting to the prospect of an economic downturn. That’s spurring traders to reward the strongest companies in the stock market while punishing the weakest — reducing in-tandem moves between S&P 500 shares.”, now why would anyone other then 💎🙌🦍s care? Cause interest rates directly cause INFLATION, YES you read that right, Interest rates are Causing inflation ironically because we have a debt based system! “A one-time increase in the supply of debt that doesn’t correspond to increased demand can likely mean a change in the price level or the interest rate, or both, the author explained. A continuing debt issuance not met by a corresponding growth in the demand for debt is likely to show up as a higher rate of inflation”
Sources for the capital flight, the obvious place funds moved to, lack of demand, record debt, and corporate America crashing. * Graph Showing Institutional capital flight from Stock Market likely straight to Guaranteed Treasury returns * “The two-year Treasury yield, which typically moves in step with interest rate expectations, rose 7.2 basis “ * No Demand * Record Debt * The crash is already here no need for interest rates to continue being elevated

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator.
Iman Gadzhi – Agency Incubator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Over the span of 20+ hours, Agency Incubator has training that covers EVERY aspect of building an agency. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! You name it... signing clients, running killer Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you!
The lessons inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator course include:
1. Foundations
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To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Incubator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

2 Decentralized Finance MOASS Adoption

For MOASS DeFi Adoption we have @Loopring! which first step is bringing CEX Crypto into the DeFi world of Gmerica🏴‍☠️! Now to quote our DeFi Partner Bryon :) “We’re at a major inflection point. Centralization failures left and right. Exchanges + lending platforms losing customer funds. Banks failing because of centralized planning. Judges + courts ruling that if you store your funds on a centralized platform, you’re giving up ownership of those assets if the company fails. Everything is pointing towards crypto. Everything is pointing towards DeFi + self-custody as the future. The world will move to self custody as they learn this is the only way to truly own their hard earned assets. The timing couldn’t be better for our upcoming major Block Trading feature. Access the worlds best liquidity from the comfort of your self-custody wallet. Then experience everything else Loopring L2 has to offer once you’re there. Dual Investments, Staking, Trading, NFTs, Gaming. A true CEX-like experience without having to give up custody (ownership) over your assets. @loopringorg is building the future to enable the world to be their own bank from the comfort + security of their self-custody (self-owned) wallet. Now is the time - this next crypto bull market will pull the world into crypto and we’ll be ready🫡 Step 1: ✅bring CEX users over to DEX Step 2: ✅build the best one-stop shop ecosystem that allows you to #BeYourOwnBank so you never have to leave” Those who are use to a system of lies and thievery with manipulation, where CEXs, Banks, and Brokers don’t actually have your coins, cash, or stocks, will get to see what it is to truly #BeYourOwnBank and to #OwnYourOwnAssets, as the CEXs, Banks and Brokers fail, the flight from all of centralized finance and to secure transparent DeFi will cause a rally of a life time. All 4 paths for MOASS/MOASS adoption feeds into each other, the whole gaming economy of Gmerica🏴‍☠️ does! That’s our DeFi MOASS Adoption!!! Building the best Crypto Smart Wallet and DeFi Trading Exchange in the world!!!!! (What’s extra interesting is Loopring now has Block Trades, well seemingly inconsequential overall beyond offering an even better experience on Loopring what happens when a CEX exchange starts selling the DeFi tokens from their treasury (which is likely not enough to cover the accounts they custodian for) to Truly DeFi wallets?!?!? ;)💎🙌🏴‍☠️🚀🚀🚀🚀) Loopring also has another trick up it’s sleeve when it added $Pepe, I’m extremely bullish on its prospects when more and more holders jump in, tho it has trillions of coins, that’s not a bad thing it’s actually great for BILLIONS of users :) atm there’s around 100k Holders keeping $Pepe at around .5B market cap, it hasn’t been listed on many CEXs still, so many opportunities in the land of Gmerica🏴‍☠️ I’m so grateful to be an 🦍 and GMErican the future truly is look bright for us all :) option 2/Loopring is also extra special because of its financial scalability, everything and every asset will run on loopring through GameStops MP the determination of value will finally be fully in the direct hands of the Players :) PowerToThePlayers PowertoThePeople PowerToTheWorld GameStop now in Gmerica :)

3 NFT Asset MOASS Adoption

@GameStop NFT 🏴‍☠️💜, a place where dreams can come true :) a place for artists, creators, investors, for all markets to meet, the central hub of the above economies and the world!, interconnecting and creating positive growth. What’s really amazing is theres already so so so so much available, I’m in awe that this is still just the Beta. We have so many heavy hitters already!! From Betty Boop,to the [lead animator for Rick and Morty](nft.gamestop.com/useSloppypencil), and can’t forget Kickass! these are just 3 of the brand names you’ll see floating around the marketplace and then there’s the charities! from Polli Nation NFToons ob-gyn.eth, we already have many artists doing charities!, some started by doing [art about our very own community](nft.gamestop.com/useOrdinaryAdam) ! And they grew into doing charities!! :) there are many communities like this that grow and are supported on GameStops NFT Marketplace!! we have TV show artists!! and we have Music Artists!! I could spend all day going through the endless amount of things that can be bought and then enjoyed from here :) but I need to move on to the part that ties in all these NFT assets together Voyage_AR!! By @GeminiProtocal this is truly incredible, just like GTAVs apartments or Fable 3s throne, plaster your walls with your investments, show them off to family and friends, show them the good you do in the world and inspire others to do the same! And with partners like Cyber Crew!! And others all together they are bringing Fun into the real world for everyone!, there really is no stopping this, completely and totally unavoidable, it’s happening, we won, we always won, and 2 years later we can see clearly the fruition of our 💎🙌s of our artistic and technological brothers and sisters, of the future that is already here but just waiting on 1 little itty bitty thing!! #MOASS so truly 🦍s let’s make this happen! For all of us!! For our loved ones, for our friends, for our pets, for our family’s and for the whole world, everyone’s waiting!!!

Contact me to get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator by chatting me on +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one of the best products on how to start a marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The topics inside Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course include:

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The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
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To get Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator contact me on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

Totally new to this, would love critique on my first chapter. Give it to me real. I want to improve: this may just be a hobby but I love it!
What you see on Page One.

Read Seekers, until daytime fades to candlelight, For magic is found when ink breathes life to parchment, When bookbindings break and cradled words take flight. It’s the safety of cozying up near the warming hearth, And the rising steam from a wellworn mug It’s that smile when you turn the page in delight. 

That cool little quote thing before a chapter starts that gives you background.

West of the Citadel Clouds, Bordering Mountain Pines and fickle Seashine Lies the renowned Port Cardica Where sailors sing and blight-born orphans dream. 

Chapter 1
A Slip Away from Death
Like most boys, Jake chose snoring in the pews over memorizing the Church’s proverbs. A clear mistake, he realized, as the Pastor's warning that “prayer follows danger” proved true. Hanging precipitously from the cliff’s edge, Jake recited every Creed he could remember in a futile attempt to appease any watching Gods.
“Prosper in his light, heathentry outside his sight,” he prayed, feet kicking in a desperate search for better footing.
It was a stowaways’ stanza, a tenet meant to share wisdom in ways the thickest of Port Cardica’s orphan dockboys could understand but, like most doctrine, its religious meaning was lost in translation.
Instead, the impoverished boys interpreted it as a practical warning to keep their heads down. Everyone knew the city’s Nobles revered the Book and claimed their prosperity was proof of Gods’ favor. Of course, beggars knew better: one downward glance at them revealed the decay fueling Cardica’s burgeoning wealth. Still, the poor learned to philosophize quietly. Someone was to blame for the hoveltowns, bird droppings, and penetrating seafood stink, and it better not be you.
For his part, Jake blamed himself. If he’d scaled the cliff wall with just a bit more care and a bit less haste he’d never have slipped. Instead he’d been forced to violently slow his descent, bruising bones and trading skin for friction on the vertical slope. It wasn’t a graceful maneuver by any means, but it beat falling hundreds of feet into the freezing current below. Thankfully, years as a guttersnipe had honed his reflexes – his gangly arms lacked the strength of a Swordsquire or the coordination of a Majpupil, but his daily dance with starvation demanded nimble fingers and quick wit.
That experience wasn’t paying off. As Jake shuffled his feet around to find better purchase, his hands slipped on the accruing condensation from the ongoing manastorm. His grip flagged, then failed, and he had neither the magic nor the strength to escape the weight of gravity.
“It isn't written, it isn’t written” Jake recited frantically as he began to plummet. The other dockboys would laugh at his superstition, but he didn’t care. Many claimed the Creeds were lucky, and Jake desperately needed some luck. Instinctively he spread his arms out as wide as possible, hoping to extend his reach and grip onto something.
By some miracle, It worked. The resounding sound of cloth ripping accompanied Jake as he slammed into the stone cliff, teetering to a stop. He hung like a rag doll, held up only by the hem of his matted, brown tunic; the cheap weavings had snagged and torn on an outcropping of stone.
“Aughhh” he mumbled.
He had survived, but everything hurt. Looking down to inspect the damage, Jake saw that his calloused hands were raw and pebbled, but a quick flex confirmed he hadn’t broken any fingerbones. Breathing a sigh of relief, he gasped at the telltale sting every kicked streetrat knew so well.
“Po-Poet’s hand,” Jake swore.
He grabbed the cliff wall to stabilize himself and, seeing as it had worked so far, continued reciting the few Creeds he could remember. A minute passed before he was able to think clearly, but slowly Jake got his breathing under control and continued his self-assessment.
Overall, he felt like things couldn’t have gone much worse. His cracked ribs hurt and continuing the heist would only exacerbate the damage, leading to scarring or permanent hobbling. Jake had seen many dockbeggars with similar injuries from fights or beatings, unable to walk straight without being plagued by the stitchers cough.
For this reason alone, Jake briefly considered giving up. He quickly dismissed the idea – it might be madness to continue climbing in his condition, but he’d come too far to back out now. He’d planned this heist for months, obsessively pathing his break-in while waiting for a night when security would be light. In retrospect, he’d been a fool; his overly cautious preparations left no possibility for a second attempt before his 15th birthday.
No, despite his injury tonight was still his best hope to successfully steal a Scriptors’ Grimoire before Binding Day. Failure would mean enslavement as a Ruddite or worse, full Automation. He’d just have to trust the windy weather to mute his movements and the harvest moons to light his way.
So, teeth chattering with cold and fear, Jake resumed the ascent. His ribs sang in agony as he put one hand in front of the other, slowly turning small divots into handholds, footholds and leverage. Each bouldering movement made him wince, but over the years he’d honed the art of turning sweat and grit into capillary action. He’d had no other choice; richmen shared a passion for building impenetrable estates, forcing thieves to develop an unshaking hand at scaling them.
Five painstaking minutes of climbing later and Jake regained his original position. Salty sweat matted his brow and stinged his eyes but he persevered. He blinked slowly to clear his vision and shuffled his feet left over right, shivering his way across an inch-wide protrusion. Just a few meters above him stood the lip of the granite outcropping and access to the marble fortress built upon it. Jake tasted copper as he bit the inside of his cheek in anticipation – If the heist went well he’d finally change his destiny and be able to swear upon the Sermon’s Book on his own terms.
But first he had to finish the climb. He knew the manor’s sentries rotated hourly, eyes glued to the sky as they watched for flyingmen and attacks from above. He also knew that all these guards would be literate, but none especially gifted. After all, no one powerful enough to be a Writer would stand watch over another man's fortune. The chartered Maji Wordlings, on the other hand, could easily detect Jake if he hadn’t planned for them in advance. He chose tonight because it was the season’s Lenting, meaning the majority of Maji would be in communion until the sun rose.
“What is written” a gruff voice proclaimed, startling Jake.
It was muffled by the wind, so it took him a moment to realize it was coming from directly above him. Jake craned his neck and peered up; to his horror he could see the silhouette of a guard's shadow on the cliff wall.
Petrified, Jake hugged his body to the cold granite, hoping the darkness of the windy night would hide his form. His entire plan hung on the simple thesis that in a world of magidetectors and magflight, no one would expect an unbound to scale the walls. Great in theory, but what if a guard just happened to look down?
“Is Foretold and Forbidden,” another voice chanted, completing the customary greeting. “All safe on the watch?”
“All is safe and silent, as usual,” the first man grunted.
“Don’t sound so upset,” the second laughed. ”We chose this job because it’s easy, remember? No more treading through the mud, no more war with those blasted barren beasts and their infernal warlocks.”
“That’s true, althou..”
The men’s voices were swept up in the wind as they paced further down the stone perimeter. They hadn’t seen him, but, just to be safe, Jake stayed low until he could no longer hear the stamping of metal-toed boots on stone. Then, fingers white and aching in trepidation, he waited another 30 seconds.
Finishing his count, Jake peaked over the edge. It took all the courage he had earned as a thief and every bit of boldness he had learned as a beggar, but he managed it.
The coast was clear.
Jake carefully pulled himself over the ledge before falling into a crouch. He looked around and exhaled painfully, releasing a breath he had not realized he was holding.
In front of him lay an outdoor walkway culminating in a rippling fountain circumscribed by five basalt pillars of progressively increasing height. Everflowing torches adorned each of the columns and burned despite the rain, casting rings of golden light throughout the open atrium. At the foot of the fountain rose a gold-leafed speaker's lectern, a pure white sculpture of the Sermon Book chiseled open upon it.
Jake stared openmouthed at the power radiating from the fountain before abruptly coming to his senses. Without a doubt this artifact was a Magisma, an extremely expensive construct meant to amplify its controller’s magic. Leaving it outside was a casual display of wealth and power meant to shock and impress, but Jake didn’t have time for that.
Instead Jake blended into the shadows cast by the monument as he sneaked his way across the grounds. After passing the walkway the torchlight dimmed considerably, forcing him to hobble his way in the dark. A bright flash startled him, but the acid smell of tobacco that accompanied it indicated the guards he’d seen earlier were smoking to pass the time. Realizing they were distracted, Jake sped up and almost tripped on the jutting crystals of an emerald rock garden. Embarrassed, he paused to listen for anyone approaching.
Everything was quiet except for the constant pitter, patter and hiss of rain from the manastorm. It seemed his home-invasion had so far gone unnoticed, but the hair on Jake’s neck rose. An unsettling feeling of being watched set in and every few seconds he reflexively looked over his shoulder.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he made it to the Manor wall. Keeping to the shadows, Jake hid behind the tallest thing he could find; a towering yellow flower with leaves the size of platters that he had never seen before. Staying low, he muddied his knees and toes on the damp ground, but thankfully the foliage protected him from the rain. As his eyes adjusted to less light, Jake noticed all sorts of exotic fruits surrounding him; blood red berries in the shape of teardrops levitated inches off the ground, while turquoise bubbles floated up from vibrant greenery, collapsing quickly into little orange stones that looked remarkably like candy. Jake’s belly growled at the idea of tasting these treats, but he dismissed his urges. Stanzas warned that “those who leave riches unread become starving men” but Jake knew hunger well. He would jeopardize his mission by eating something that might make him sick tonight.
Instead, he focused on gaining entry to the manor. Searching his surroundings, Jake located the iron front doors about 6 meters to his right. They were guarded by life-like statues on either side, one a Korai of the Poet, hand outstretched in greeting, the other a two headed wolf, with both snarling maws crying out to the moons. The door itself was blacked with age and inscribed by a massive oval spellwork that glinted in the light cast by a hanging lantern.
Listening closely, Jake groaned at the buzz of silverscripting coming from the insignia. Every thief knew that spellworks grew more powerful over time, and anything audible would be too powerful for any Unbound to lockpick.

My neighbor, Henry Johnson, would be out of town for two weeks. His wife had just left him, and he needed to clear his head. So he asked me to house sit. As a broke college student, I said yes.
The housesitting duties included taking care of the Johnsons’ parrot—a 17-year-old African Grey named Snickers. I didn’t know much about birds, but he’d left me detailed instructions on how to take care of her.
The first night of my job, I decided to stay for a few hours. I needed to get a problem set done, and the Johnsons’ large, empty house was the perfect study place. After feeding Snickers and giving her water, I got set up on the couch.
But it wasn’t long before she interrupted me.
“STOP!”
I whipped around. Snickers was standing on her perch, staring at me with one gray eye. “STOP! STOP!” she repeated.
Rolling my eyes, I went back to the problem set. Differential equations. Why did I decide to major in engineering, again? ! tapped my pencil against the page. Maybe it’s time for another snack break.
“STOP, OH GOD, STOP.”
Snickers was bouncing from one perch to the other, bobbing her head, as carefree as could be. But the way she said that sent shivers down my spine. She was clearly imitating someone in distress. Probably just repeating from a movie, I told myself.
But I was so, so wrong.
“STOP, OH GOD, STOP. HENRY, STOP.”
Henry.
That was his name. Henry Johnson.
I turned and stared at the parrot. She stared back at me and whistled a few times. And them she continued.
“STOP OH GOD STOP HENRY STOP OH GOD”
My blood turned to ice. I stared at the parrot, my heart hammering in my chest. What, exactly, happened here? What is she repeating?
I decided to call my parents. But they didn’t seem to share my level of concern. “Your Aunt Sheila had a parrot,” my dad said. “That thing would pick up all kinds of crazy words. Movies, phone conversations… it’d scream, say the f-word, everything. I wouldn’t worry, Abbi. Especially with Raquel leaving him and all… they probably had some huge fights the parrot picked up on. I wouldn’t be surprised if it got worse.”
And he was right. Over the course of the next hour, Snickers continued to repeat “stop” and “Henry,” but also said a variety of other things, from curses to pleasantries to movie quotes. “FUCK YOU.” “I’LL BE BACK.” “HOW ARE YOU TODAY?” “COMMENT ALLEZ-VOUS?”
Finally, around ten o’clock, I started getting ready to leave. Threw my notebook in my backpack, switched off the lights, and headed for the door. “Goodbye Snickers,” I called out into the darkness. Then I reached for the doorknob—
“PUT THE KNIFE DOWN.”
I froze in my tracks.
I couldn’t see Snickers anymore. But I could hear her, rustling about in her cage. Talons clacking against the metal rails, feathers flapping in the silence. Maybe she’s just quoting another movie. Maybe she’s—
“PUT THE KNIFE DOWN HENRY,” the bird repeated.
My heart dropped.
“STOP OH GOD STOP OH GOD.”
Snickers was agitated. I could hear her feathers hitting the metal rails of her cage as she flapped her wings. Thunk—she hopped back and forth, perch to perch, as she clicked her beak erratically.
“STOP OH GOD STOP.”
I stood there for a long time. Seconds stretched into minutes. But she didn’t say anything more. Just clicked and whistled and flapped around in her cage.
I flicked the lights back on, dropped my backpack on the floor, and made a beeline for the Johnsons’ bedroom.
Henry was very clear with his instructions. I wasn’t supposed to enter any of the bedrooms or the basement. I was supposed to stay on the main level, no matter what.
But I climbed the stairs anyway. After looking around, I found their bedroom. It was neat and tidy, the burgundy bedspread laying smoothly over the mattress. I walked around, my heart hammering, hoping what I was imagining wasn’t true.
But it was.
Because in their closet, I found a small box. A small box containing Raquel Johnson’s wallet… and drivers license.
I made my way back down the stairs, my legs shaking. Snickers looked at me curiously from her cage. I turned out the lights, locked the door, and hurried down the sidewalk. As soon as I get home, I’m calling the cops. As soon as I—
Ping.
I pulled out my phone to see a text.
From Henry Johnson.
I asked you not to enter the bedroom.
I whipped around. But the dark sidewalk extended behind me, totally empty. How did he… Oh. A camera. Of course. I broke into a run towards my parents’ house, at the corner. Almost there—
Ping.
I know what you saw.
I sprinted harder, faster. My feet slapped against the pavement. Almost there—
Ping.
I didn’t pull out my phone. Didn’t stop until I was locked safely in my parents’ house. Then, finally, I read the text that he sent.
If you tell anyone else, you will pay.
***
I didn’t listen. I called the police. And after a thorough search of his house, they found something horrible.
Raquel’s body, in the freezer in the basement.
Henry was trying to flee town, but get a head start by making it look like he was just going on vacation. So he hired me to housesit. I don’t think he realized Snickers might repeat what she heard that night.
And sometimes, I wonder, if Snickers knew more than she let on. Because, apparently, she was Raquel’s pet. From before they were even married.
Maybe she wasn’t mindlessly repeating.
Maybe she was trying to get justice for Raquel.

Hello, like the title says I am autistic, have severe treatment-resistant depression (for over a decade now), and also have ADHD. This is all relevant because it greatly affects what type of job I can do, not just which ones I can perform well at but which ones I can keep a job at without having to quit due to it making me miserable. I’m bad at trying to explain things about myself due to the aforementioned issues but I will try, feel free to ask any questions you have and I will do my best to answer. I’ve talked to people about this issue before (family, my therapist in college, friends) but they just end up getting frustrated with me because none of their suggestions would work, which is kind of funny since I experience the same frustration except I can’t just walk away, this is my life.
I will include more info about my work and educational background below, but I was wondering if a job matching the following description exists, and if it does, would I be in any way qualified for it: The job consists of me doing whatever productive thing(s) largely on my own, largely unsupervised, with few disturbances; there needs to be at least a little critical thinking involved, not something like an assembly line repeating the same exact same over and over; it can’t involve much manual labor; I could wear earphones to listen to podcasts / music etc. and have my phone out at least some of the time as long as I got the work done satisfactorily. Does anyone know of a job like this?
I currently work at the front desk of a hotel. I started in the field almost exactly a year ago, I started out working nights only after it was suggested to me as a job that didn’t involve doing much actual work. However, I was too good at the actual job parts of the job so I got moved to working day shifts. Eventually they kept increasing the amount of work I was expected to do (some weeks I ended up working 80 or more hours) without any corresponding pay raise, until I couldn’t take it anymore and got a job at a different hotel after working there for 6 months. It’s been almost 6 months at the new hotel, and while they don’t work me half-to-death hours-wise like the old hotel, the job itself involves quite a bit more work, and the schedule is crazy. (On the new “regular schedule” starting next week, in one week I will work two 7am-3pm shifts, one 3pm-11pm shift, and two overnight 11pm-7am shift… with one “day off” between working an overnight and a 7am.)
The problem is not that I am bad at my job, in fact I am very good at it, but the toll it takes on my mental health. Also, I want to move to a bigger city soon, and at those hotels usually more than one person works at the front desk at a time, and I can’t do a job where I am always being observed. My favorite parts of my job are preparing the reservations for check-in, there are lots of details that need paid attention to, different types of reservations have to be set up differently, and I am very good at doing so accurately, I’m good at following a sort of flowchart in my head, being aware of multiple rules at once if that makes sense, and when I was first trained for the job I was told I picked it up the quickest out of anyone the managers had ever trained. I like assigning rooms to guests based on their preferences, making the keys, personalizing their registration cards based on details like their rewards club status and whether they’ve stayed at the hotel before, etc.
As for other jobs I’ve tried, I was a substitute teacher for a few months (did not enjoy besides when I got to just read a book for most of the day because the work left for them was worksheets, I’m not a fan of children and I don’t like explaining things to people, or rather I am bad at it due to my language processing disorder) and worked as a cashier at a grocery store for less than a month because I was actually about to end it all from how miserable it made me. As for my education, I have a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science (regretfully) from a good school (Carleton College) with a not-great GPA (2.75-ish) and am unable to pursue further education due to an inability to write essays (due to ADHD, and a lack of funds).
I am sorry if this was too long or unfocused, but any help or advice would be deeply appreciated, as my mental health is suffering a lot and I do unfortunately need to make money to survive. It would also help if the job paid at least as much as my current job (I make $16.50 as a hotel front desk clerk in a city close to Nashville) as I am trying to save up enough money to move out of an emotionally abusive family living situation.