Halloween spirit near me

I would like to start by saying I have fun playing DMZ, but I have become more disappointed with every update.
It seems like the goal has shifted from emulating Tarkov to casual warzone with an extraction element.
Missions are pretty much pointless and after a solid month of joining randoms with the sole intention of helping others finish theirs, I have had just one game where the squad had any intention on completing one. Funny enough it was two 50+ year old Marine vets.
Nearly every game is either help lesser experienced players get a 3 plate then hunt squads. Get pushed by or push a squad one team pleas then strait to every hunt contract.
It's particularly frustrating if you have teammates that make terrible decisions die, plea and then try to steam roll me with a 5 man knowing I am basically a loot piñata.
In conclusion with the ease of obtaining top tier loot, P2W bundles, plea mechanic, abundant self revives, and AI that's so poorly implemented it mostly just serves as an audible UAV. I can only conclude that DMZ's purpose is to provide lesser skilled players the dopamine hit required to keep them on the game and buying COD points.

Recently, it seems to me that the cuckoos in this area no longer call "cuckoo, cuckoo", but " Бахмут , Бахмут ". Have you noticed that too?

I had a heart monitor in February after having suspected pots for over a year after doing a poor man’s tilt table test in my gps office where my heart rate went for 100 laying down to 180 in 2 minutes. My watch showed that my heart rate did this everyday during the year I was waiting for my appointment and I found my symptoms debilitating. I also had suspected elhers danlos syndrome but my cardiologist said I couldn’t have eds as my heart structure is normal. My heart monitor showed that I have slight bradycardia and he said slight episodes of tachycardia. When I had the monitor on I was a lot more active than I usually am so spent the 2 days walking and doing exercise. He told me that the peak my heart rate went was 160 but it was usually in the the 150s which is normal (which I understand during exercise but my heart rate does this when i’m standing still). I also had a blood pressure monitor which shows I sometimes get low blood pressure throughout the day (101/63) so he diagnosed me with vasovagal syncope. I personally don’t agree with this diagnoses (which he didn’t even put in my notes/on the system) as I meet the criteria for pots and have done for nearly two years. When I had the monitor on I was also annoyingly having a good few days but my watch says that I would often hit 190 if not higher during light walks and would significantly go up when I stand from sitting. He also didn’t measure my heart rate from laying to standing. I was prescribed ivabradine which he told me to won’t affect how i’m feeling as it was a blood pressure issue but they luckily have helped me so much and I feel like i’m starting to get my life back. After research, I am debating whether to go private and travel 2 hours to see a pots specialist to get a second opinion/get a tilt table test to get the correct diagnoses. Is this worth doing as ivabradine has really helped me? I would love to hear someone’s opinion on what I should do, thanks :)

For context, I haven’t lived with my mom since experiencing a mental health crisis in 2019. I live with other family members hours away from her and my immediate family. I was going to see them for vacation so I decided to try talking about our past, to try and resolve it, since we’ve never really had a heart to heart about it. She immediately got defensive and angry, and told me she had “moved on” and “why am i bringing up the past?” She says she thinks it’s great we can “see each other on good days like holidays and not the bad days”.
When I lived with my immediate family I was very depressed and didn’t achieve much (I still haven’t, but that’s besides the point). I was really shitty to people during that time and really withdrawn. My siblings are far ahead of me despite being younger, and are going to very good colleges and pursuing high level careers. My mom and dad got an apartment near them and visit them all the time. My mom seems really involved in their lives.
I was planning on moving back with them to finish college next year (my dad tries to keep a close connection with me and wants me home) but my mom doesn’t seem to want that. Maybe she doesn’t believe I’ll stay stable. I don’t know. I barely talk to my brother and sister. I think I should stay away. I don’t fit into the family anymore (not that i ever did due to my issues) and everyone seems so happy without me. I’m not saying that for pity, it’s probably best if I try and make my own life without them. It seems like I’m trying to hold on to relationships that are near dead. Thoughts?
TL:DR; moved out of my mom and dad’s house to live with other family because of mental health issues, potentially moving back next year to finish college, mom says “she’s moved on from the past” and seems disinterested in me coming back.

Minutemen Uniform or General uniform: "A minuteman. You have my respect." "I thought all the Minutemen were wiped out." "I always wondered how those laser muskets work?" "Are you a member of the Minutemen? What settlement are you heading off to?"
Railroad armored coat: "Are you one of those members of the Railroad? No, that can't be." "What kind of outfit is that? It looks like a coat, but of armor."
BoS uniform or Maxson's Battlecoat: "What monstrosity are you going to kill today?" "I have a lot of respect for the Brotherhood of Steel. There are so many terrors in the wasteland. (In Goodneighbor) "You may be the exterminator in the Brotherhood, but here in Goodneighbor you're the pest." "Only Hancock and the watch decides which ghouls die here." "If you think we need your service, you're wrong."
BoS Fatigues, Engineers Armor, or Science Scribe Armor: "You must be one of those field scribes for the Brotherhood of Steel." "The Brotherhood needs smarts as much as strength am I right?" "I always thought the Brotherhood of Steel only had soldiers. I guess I was wrong." (On the Prydwen) "Ad Victoriam, Scribe." "Remember, you are just as important as the soldiers." (In the Institute) "That looks like what the Brotherhood scribes wear. If only they weren't against us."
Any Institute apparel: "You're from the Institute aren't you? Keep away from me." "I like science as much as the next guy, but not the way you do." "You will gain unwanted attention wearing that around here." "Are you here to kidnap me?" (On the Prydwen) "I suggest you discard those garments at once." (In Goodneighbor): "We don't take kindly to the Institute here." "The Institute is not welcome in Goodneighbor."
Suits or Dresses: "Looking fine today, simam." "I bet someone as spiffy as you is loaded with caps." "This may be a wasteland, but who says you can't look nice?"
Hazmat suit: "Afraid of rads? One can't be too careful out here." "You are smart to wear that suit. A storm could happen any second." "Working with dangerous chemicals today?"
Child of Atom robes: "Keep your religion to yourself." "So let me get this straight. The radiation nearly kills you and then you worship it?" "My friend's name is Adam"

Hey all,
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Although we are smaller in number, I wanted to poll the users/start a dialogue on whether or not you'd be okay with us shutting down the sub for a few days in support of the movement against reddit's recent decision to increase the cost of making calls to their API from free to to a level that will kill nearly every 3rd party app on reddit such as Apollo, Reddit is Fun, Narwhal, BaconReader, etc.
Please vote, or share your opinion(s) in the comments below. You can read more about what's going on here and for a complete list of subreddits participating check here.
Personally, I am for it but shutting down the sub affects more than me.
View Poll

Has anyone been? What's it like? It looks like a beautiful setting near me and some of the acts are alright... but looking at the crowd it appears everyone is 19 looking like they've been paid by Boohoo to wear their stuff. Am I too old at 34?

Hey so I’m new to Ellen ring and have been grinding out the game for about 4-5 days now. I started as astrologer (since I play mages in almost every game) and I’m roughly around level 70 near the Altus plateau atm. I realize I’m right around halfway (roughly) and am worried I’ll feel regretful about not rlly using the cool regular weapons and fighting patterns etc… can I switch builds mid game and still be competent or will it set me back SUPER far, and how/what would I even do to achieve this? Like i don’t even know what to call a build like this to look up help, aloe what stats to prioritize etc…

Leaving Walmart today & nearly ran into a black CRV who did not see me coming up on his left (he was looking right and moving forward into oncoming traffic - me). I honked. A warning beep. Not a long drawn out honk, nothing major. The driver and passenger flipped me off, clearly enraged, yelling at me as I drove by. They then pulled up on my left, blocking the left turning lane and started chucking shit at my car. Water, pop, bottles, garbage, and YELLING. Holy hell they were angry. Scared the shit out of my 4 year old, he started crying (when we arrived home he kept saying "phew we're safe!"). I snapped pictures of the license plates. Ontario. I've lived in a lot of places, lot of large cities. Moncton has lost it's small town charm and is going downhill so fast. It's not even the homeless issue. I'm not afraid of them. I'm terrified of these men who lose their absolute shit over nonsense and have the bloody audacity to think this behaviour is ok. Jerks.

I've stopped masking nearly as much as I used to since finding out I'm autistic (undiagnosed), and it's causing me so many issues.
I've also been diagnosed with ADHD and am on medication for it but I've lost the ability to be in large crowds, I get over stimulated way too easily, I can't drink and go out anymore very easily and my friends are starting to become more and more frustrated with me as I have a panic attack often when I've gone out drinking and it's really starting to effect my mental health.
I know drinking is causing issues that would probably be fixed by well, not drinking but it's fun to be with friends and get drunk.
Unmasking has also made it so difficult to handle shift patterns and be able to function at work, making my quality of life so much worse. My general depression is better but I get more sudden episodes of it and anxiety has gotten a lot worse and I'm getting to the point where I just don't know what to do.
I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend because I was overstimulated yesterday while drinking, and was having a shit time, which seems to happen every time I go out with her.
It all just seems to be making everything worse

Hey all, I have a strange problem. Hoping someone has experienced this too or knows something that may help.
I'm generally 5'11" to 6' tall. (Male, 32, 310 lbs.) I have bad back pain everyday that hasn't been well explained by my chiropractor (and yes, I am heavy, but wasn't always. Been having this pain since I was 13.)
One time, my college roommates and I were just hanging out and my back was killing me, so my buddy offered to press on my back and I let him. I lay flat on my stomach for about 30 min and he did his best, it hurt a lot.
After I got off the floor, I was standing taller than my 6'2" roommate and he had shoes on. I was barefoot.
I know how ridiculous this sounds but they and I know it happened. Is it possible for a person to stretch out that far or do I just have a really bad back? I mean, I know you're supposed to shrink about 1 to 2 cm throughout the day, but what's going on?
Any have any experience or know what to do? I'd love to be permanently 6' and pain free (mostly), if not near 6'3". But 5'11" ain't bad!
So sorry to hear about you all who have bad backs by the way. It sucks so much.

Im applying to a community college near me and they told me they cannot except my English 101 because it’s not similar to the description on their English 101. However, they accepted my English 102. Are they allowed to do this? When I started college I skipped ENG 101 because I was in an honors program so I started with 102 but I had to transfer to another community college so I took Eng 101 there. Their description says “ composting on and rhetoric” and the one I took just says “composition” isn’t it the same thing? If I already took 102 why wouldn’t they except my 101?

Isn’t a fitting flair. I know this post of confession won’t be popular, except for maybe the ending and for the abuse I experienced….. but I was the other woman. I was the other woman for 10 years….then the woman for 8 additional years following his divorce. There is my deep understanding that I am a liar. I destroyed your family. Hurt your kids. I know how absolutely unforgivable it is and that I’m disgusting. One of his favorites things to say about you was that you can’t fix crazy. Now I know you weren’t crazy. You were his victim too. But what I did was beyond crazy. I’m so sorry. You suspected, but there was never confirmation. There is no forgiveness and I actually hope that my suffering helps you in some, if any, way because it is all that I think would alleviate anything for you…………… I’m away from him now for years. I try to understand to heal from my own abuse I experienced. The sexual, physical and mental load overwhelmed my body. From the physical functioning of my brain and my heart. Monitors, scans, MRI’s. Being away from him my body is better now. Financially I’m not sure I can recover. My spirit I’m not sure will ever be free. Learning about narcissism, Othello disorder, trauma bonding helps me intellectually understand, but forgiving myself isn’t happening. I live everyday as a fraud. I am keeping his secrets now as a choice, not for him, but to protect his children…their children. They love him and I am choosing to not destroy his life. He is staying away from me, because he knows I can. I keep secrets from my kids too, to protect them. I’m thankful that we don’t share a child biologically. I know I’ll live the rest of my life out as a liar and a fraud. My children will never truly know me. This will keep me from ever truly being part of my family. I am indifferent to him through anger or love which makes a trauma bond so confusing. My decision is to sacrifice myself to save the kids. I can’t fix his crazy, but I will protect the kids from it. ……. I’m sorry. I know exact moments in time I could’ve stopped and didn’t. It’s not for me to say that I am relieved that your marriage now, looks to be safe and loving. I know my feelings are simply to salve my guilt. I am sorry with every part of me, but I know it’s nothing more than a bucket that can’t hold water.

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    In the past there were many Walled Cities, more than the six we have today. The first to be built is much contested, and any [Scholar] who gives a definitive answer is assuredly lying, but it is well-known that Salazsar is the youngest, starting out as a mining town so-to-speak. Sadly, several of the original Walled Cities have fallen, the causes of which are also much debated, but from those that fell was a Walled City that stood out from the rest, so great it was that all traces were wiped from history, until I happened to uncover them. A Walled City to rise above all other Walled Cities, more impervious than Manus, more magical than Fissival, a lust for gold to rival Salazsar, growth to match Oteslia, fantastical inventions that rival Pallass, and trade-routes greater than Zeres. Let me tell you a story about the fabled Walled City of Walls.
    Originally the Walled City of Walls was a small fort, constructed in the middle of a grassy plain, where a small garrison of [Soldiers] lived. They defended their fort and nearby town with pride, but as they had such a large area to defend, they struggled to stop invaders from going around their fort and attacking the nearby settlement. In those days we did not yet build walls around our cities, and people were constantly threatened from [Bandits] and [Raiders] who sought to pillage and steal! The valiant [Soldiers] did their best to repel the attacks, and defend the plains, but there were just too many [Bandits] and other ne'er-do-wells!
    Then one day a [Mason] stopped outside the fort, and yelled up at the [Soldiers] manning the battlements. He said, "My name is Zezzyzil Wallbuilder! You [Soldiers] have been fighting so hard to protect these lands, I want to help you by building a wall so high that not even dragons can fly over it!"
    His words were ridiculous, but resonated with the tired [Soldiers], who would do anything to stop the invaders, and the [Captain] agreed to let him enter and use spare materials to improve the fort.
    Zezzyzil got to work, and by dawn of the next day, the walls of the fort had grown by five feet. The [Soldiers] were astounded, and they thanked Zezzyzil for his work, but instead of leaving he spoke again, "I have done all I can with the materials you have here, but if you can gather more stone I can expand the walls further!"
    They had seen proof of his Skills, and decided to send a few men to the nearby village to gather more materials.
    The townsfolk trusted the [Soldiers] who had protected them time and time again, and rushed to gather whatever they could for the project. Stone was taken from abandoned houses and carted over to the fort, where soon a large pile sat in the courtyard. The top of the pile was as tall as the fort's walls, and was everything the villagers could spare. Once again Zezzyzil got to work, and by dawn of the next day a wall ran through the plains, dividing it in half.
    The villagers went to see the result of Zezzyzil's hard work, and were amazed with what he had accomplished, but before they could cheer, the [Mayor] of the town approached Zezzyzil and begged, "Oh great Zezzyzil, you are clearly of a high Level, and have done so much for all of us! I will pay you what little gold I have, and I feel ashamed to ask, but if I give you all the stone from my house, will you expand the walls further?"
    His offer shocked the [Soldiers] and the townsfolk. Zezzyzil thought for a moment, rubbing a claw against his chin, and then replied, "You are willing to sacrifice your own home for the good of your people, I admire your noble spirit, and so I agree and will take the stone to expand the wall."
    The [Mayor] laughed with delight, handing a bag of gold to Zezzyzil, and returned to the town to tear down his house and cart the stone over. However, word spread of his deed, and by the time he returned there was a pile larger than the one before, sitting outside of the fort, behind the new wall. All of the villagers had taken the stone from their homes and brought it there, for Zezzyzil to use, for being safe from [Bandits] was better than comfort.
    As before, night passed, and by dawn an even larger wall had been built, surrounding what used to be the village. The townsfolk no longer had homes, and had all crowded into the small fort, which was now safe from [Bandits]. Zezzyzil did not leave, as they thought he would, and instead chose to stay with the [Soldiers] and [Villagers] and help them maintain the walls and further expand them.
    Time passed, and gradually more Drakes moved into the fort, seeking shelter and safety behind the large walls. Eventually, the fort turned into a small city, and one day Zezzyzil left when it was clear the citizens could continue maintaining the walls without him. The citizens threw him a parade and lavished him with gifts, and then Zezzyzil was gone, followed by a stream of flower petals and coin.
    The town had not had an attack in years, but still kept expanding the walls, using knowledge that Zezzyzil had given them. By now the walls surrounded the entire plain, constantly being built taller and taller, thicker and thicker. Quarries were dug where more stone could be excavated, and expeditions were sent to a nearby mountain to get more material for the construction.
    As the town was safe and growing, [Merchants] started to pass by, bringing with them goods from faraway lands, bringing the city great fortune, turning it into a local hub for trade. A few clever [Merchants] took note of the citizens peculiar tradition, and started to sell the city more stone and wood for their work.
    The walls by now were almost one hundred feet tall, and the city grew more prosperous the taller they became. It became common for ordinary buildings to look fortified, with ramparts, crenels, and merlons on even homes of the poor, stylized after the walls that protected them. But the good times were not to last, and a group of [Bandits] had heard of the city, and worked in secret to undermine its defenses.
    The [Bandits] knew that even though the walls looked imposing, they had no enchantments to strengthen them, and so they observed from afar until at last they discovered a weakness in a section of the walls. Like lightning they rushed towards the city, but no alarms sounded, and no [Watchmen] yelled out. They had gotten too comfortable, too used to their safety, and thought that it would just be another group of [Raiders] breaking themselves upon the walls.
    The damage to the city and its populace were horrible, and although the [Soldiers] and [Guards] managed to beat the [Bandits] back, they were shaken. The walls were not as safe as they had thought, and it was only a matter of time before a worse attack occurred.
    The highest Level townsfolk gathered, and pooled their resources together, just like how the original villagers did. Renowned [Enchanters] and [Architects] were hired to teach the townsfolk their ways, and more [Guards] and [Soldiers] were hired to man the walls and keep the city safe.
    By now the town's desire for safety was feverish, every alleyway was surrounded by walls, the streets were lined by walls, the [Guards] lived within the walls. The work of every citizen was related to building walls, expanding walls, and maintaining walls. A school was created to teach citizens how to enchant, so that never again would their walls be damaged.
    The city kept growing and expanding, and by now the walls were five hundred feet tall! People from afar started to call it the Walled City of Walls, and the citizens wore the name with pride, leaning further into their ideals. The first Wall Lords arose, promoted from the original fort garrison for their great work for the city. The mountain they had been mining for stone turned out to be rich with gemstones and other resources, and the Wall Lords used this money to keep expanding the walls and better equip the [Soldiers] and [Guardsmen]. Great gardens were built to feed the city, ensuring that they could live while cut off from the outside world. New construction methods were pioneered to aid with the building of the walls.
    But gradually the attitude of the city started to change. All of the original space within the walls had been used up, and there was nowhere left to build but out. A second wall was built, then a third, then a forth. Decades passed as the city crept past the plains into the forests, swallowing up other villages and towns. And then first war happened.
    The name of the town is unknown, but they were unhappy with the expansion of the Walled City of Walls. They marched their valiant army over, trying to stop the construction and expansion, but the Walled City retaliated with force, and crushed the small town, resettling the villagers and forcing them to join.
    The Walled City of Walls had never attacked anyone before, they had always been a defensive state, and were shocked with how easy it was to crush the small town. One of the Wall Lords proposed that they keep expanding as far as they could, not letting any force stop them. After all, the more the walls expanded, the safer the city was.
    Armies marched, destroying nearby villages and towns, clearing the way for [Masons] and [Geomancers] to come and create more walls. Hundreds of [Woodcutters] cleared forests, making it easier for the walls to be constructed. The city ever grew, and the original walls were now over a thousand feet tall, and still growing. Constant lines of materials were gathered, and any land that wasn't being lived on was mined and carved out. Any stone that wasn't useful for the walls was instead used for decoration and for the construction of smaller houses.
    But word spread of what the city was doing, and it reached Zezzyzil. By now he was an old Drake, over 150, still doing work as a [Mason], trying to help small towns and villages. When he learned what the city was doing he was furious, and returned as quickly as he could. He asked for audience with the Wall Lords, and to his shock, they refused.
    The current Wall Lords were descendants of the original [Soldiers], and none of them knew of Zezzyzil. Zezzyzil found that the city had forgotten him, and not a soul in the city remembered who he was or what he had done for them. He stopped to think, rubbing his claw against his chin, and then that night, he went to work.
    And by dawn of the next day, all of the walls were gone, and in their place stood the original small fort. Without their walls to protect them, many citizens chose to leave and head elsewhere, deciding it would be too much work to rebuild them, instead working to build small walls around other towns. The Wall Lords tried to hold onto what they could, but it was too late. They sat in the peaceful plains, staring at lines that marked where the walls used to be, and left. Thus was the fate of the Walled City of Walls.

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TL;DR I (F18) recently was directed to never speak to my best friend again (M28).
He's about 9-10 years older than me and was technically in an authoritative role at my church. There's really a lot of background information that I don't feel like getting into but the short of it is: we got really close really fast. It was the best platonic relationship I have ever had. A week ago (Sunday, May 28) my Pastor pulled us aside individually and said that people mentioned that we looked like we were getting really close and that it was beginning to look like a "less platonic relationship". He asked us to restrict our hangouts (we were hanging out practically every day) and to limit our private messaging. I'm not even sure how people knew if we were texting a lot because neither of us ever said anything to anyone else.
The last time I ever talked to him was that Sunday, we ended up meeting up after that church service because we both could tell it may be the last time we'd ever get to talk. Mind you, we were asked to restrict our hangouts and texting, not completely stop. I realize now that it probably just made things worse for both of us. We promised that we'd never forget each other, that we would try to reconnect in the future, and that we were always going to be each other's best friends. After talking to a mentor and he spoke to his pastor, we realized that it might be okay. According to outside church sources, we hadn't done anything wrong and it should calm down and things would go back to normal. So, in hopes that our mentors were right, we moved forward thinking we'd just have to distance ourselves until it did blow over.
It did not blow over. In fact, it blew up.
I recently learned that my father stepped in and practically threatened everything that he worked for (mostly his career from what I overheard) if he ever tried to reach out to me again. I think that this is when my father crossed the line because of information that he did not know about my friend. My friend has gone through some brutal things within the last couple of years and having my father say that stuff... I can't imagine how it affected him. My best friend was then asked to leave our church and he was requested to return to his home state. Things happened so fast... and I didn't get to check in and see where his head is at. I don't deserve to be his friend, but he doesn't deserve to have another voice in his head telling him that he "can't do it" when I know that he can.
Nearly a week out and all I can think about is my best friend. He's practically disappeared off the face of the earth, I haven't been able to talk to him or hear anything from him. I hate myself for apparently ruining his career. I just want to know if he's okay. He and I, we're very similar in the way react to things. We find the same shit funny, we enjoy doing the same things, and we feel pain in similar ways. I know that everything my parents said, things that have happened in his past, and things that we discussed are hitting him hard, at least I think they are. I just want to know that he's okay, I want to be there for him and make him feel better because I am the one who caused him this pain. I never meant to, but I made every single one of his fears come true. I can't even reach out to him in the future for fear of what my father will do. I want to though, I feel like I don't deserve to be happy until I know he is.
I just miss my best friend, I want our relationship back so much. He was the one person I had on this planet, we helped each other get through our shit. We were the people that each other trusted, the people who promised never to let our friendship die. And it seems as if I was the reason it was forced to come to an end. Stupid people had to make comments and ruin it.
I hate myself and I don't know what to do. I mean I know that I need to give it time right? But there's never seeing him again, I will never get to share our inside jokes again, we will never get to make fun of each other again, and there's so much that was taken away from him because of me. I feel like I ruined his life and he must hate me. I don't even have anyone else to talk to because he was the person I talked to.

Question here - I have my MD scheduled and I know you have to stop all NSAIDs a week out. My question is - what can I do/ask for - my one doc said they won't prescribe ANYTHING before the surgery which is freaking me out because although I really don't like the idea of taking anything narcotics related, I am terrified because i am already in so much pain and hanging on by my fingernails and counting the minutes down between doses of ibuprofen. Tylenol does zero, same with other meds I have tried including steroids. Any insights please - how did you manage. Pain on Ibuprofen is 6-7/10. Off is like 9/10 all day and unable lie down or lean back making sleep nearly impossible.

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-canadian-companies-adopt-stay-interviews-as-workers-rethink-careers/?utm_medium=Referrer:+Social+Network+/+Media&utm_campaign=Shared+Web+Article+Links
When Tara Vanderloo’s employees are mulling leaving her enterprise software company, she wants to be one of the first people they tell – and to hear their unvarnished reasons why.
“I know people get called by recruiters, so I’ve asked the question: ‘who are you talking to or what type of organizations?”’ said the chief experience officer at Sensei Labs in Toronto.
Open this photo in gallery:
Chief experience officer for Sensei Labs Tara Vanderloo in an undated handout photo.
HO/THE CANADIAN PRESS
“Have you had any thoughts or are you questioning why you want to be here?”
Vanderloo poses the questions in one-on-one meetings she and other staff periodically have with the company’s work force of roughly 70.
The discussions, which some companies call “stay interviews,” are designed to collect feedback from employees and are aimed at learning what the company can do to retain valued team members and keep them happy.
Some companies have been hosting such meetings for years, but many more adopted the practice over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic as the health crisis caused workers to rethink their careers or seek more flexibility, advancement or support from their employers.
Sensei Labs adopted engagement interviews in late 2021, when companies saw millions of people worldwide leave their jobs in what economists and businesses branded “The Great Resignation.”
“It was substantial, and it was concerning for us because it’s hard to hire great people and we don’t want to lose them, so the first thing we did is we addressed it head on,” recalled Vanderloo.
A companywide meeting was called to discuss the labour market changes afoot, and team leads – Sensei Labs doesn’t use the term managers – followed up one-on-one to learn about employee happiness in more detail.
Despite a softening job market and suggestions that negotiating power has tipped back in favour of employers, Sensei Labs has kept up with the practice and a quarterly happiness survey.
The survey asks workers whether the company lives up to its values and “would you recommend Sensei as a place of employment to others?”
Sensei Labs has a near perfect score for people who would recommend it, but staff still have wants, particularly around flexibility.
That’s part of why Sensei Labs has eschewed formal return-to-office requirements. The company has space staff can use but no rules on how often staff must use it for work.
It also piloted a four-day work week that has been expanded because the happiness survey and chats with staff have shown it’s a hit.
“Their language was like, ‘this has changed my life,”’ said Vanderloo. “If you have kids, it just makes things easier to get all your chores done or doctors’ appointments or focus on your hobbies or whatever you want to do.”
Sensei won’t green light every ask, Vanderloo cautioned.
“It’s not like the sky is the limit,” she said.
“If it’s not something we can implement, we’re very open about it.”
Chief people and culture officer Michelle Brooks has done “engagement interviews” twice with the 200 staff at Toronto cybersecurity firm Security Compass.
They started the interviews a few years ago because they wanted to build on data they were already collecting by measuring engagement, which they thought would help indicate whether people intend to stick around.
The goal isn’t to prevent everyone from leaving but to ensure the company couldn’t have done something simple to prevent the departure of high performers.
“Some level of turnover is healthy,” said Brooks. “We only want them to stay as long as they want to be here and they’ve having their needs met just like in a relationship … We don’t want to lock people in.”
The interviews Brooks has done so far have yielded valuable insights. For example, she learned that some workers aren’t necessarily seeking a promotion. They just want more responsibilities, opportunities to learn and even the ability to go to a conference.
Jenna Hammond, an Ontario woman working for a Norwegian biotech company, used a stay interview, which her company calls a “touchpoint,” to ask for a better employment arrangement.
Hammond was hired as a sole proprietor on a six-month contract with no benefits. She took the job because it was a way back to working after 15 years raising kids.
“I really needed financial stability and financial independence and being on contract just wasn’t ideal,” she said.
When the chief executive of the company asked her what it would take to get her to stay in a touchpoint, she told him and ended up being made a full-time employee with benefits.
Her company repeats these meetings every quarter and does a more fulsome one each January that can last up to 3.5 hours.
In her last meeting, Hammond asked the company to cover cleaning services for her home, which she said would help with work-life balance. They declined but offered her Fridays off this summer to help her juggle responsibilities.
“The worst thing that they were going to say to me was no, but I found that if I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t receive,” she said.
Jennifer Hargreaves, who runs Tellent, an organization that helps women find flexible work opportunities, believes every company should be having open conversations to hear about employee needs on a regular basis, but warned the process can also be a “double-edged sword” for staff.
“The huge benefit to doing it is obviously you can get what you want” she said.
“But there’s this fear that if I ask them and they say no, they’re going to know I’m unhappy, so then I might get punished for it right down the road.”
She encourages employees asked to complete such interviews to step back and think about they want and what is most important to them before coming up with an ask that is focused, specific and realistic.
But even more important to the process, she said, is employers willing to be transparent with staff and make changes based on what they hear.
“Candidates and employees are getting really tired of a lot of talk with no action,” she said.
“People need to see things backed up. If not, they know how much opportunity is out there.”