Hanako kun age when he died

Something that isn't given much narrative consideration regarding constructs from the Age of Legends, such as the Nym, is the question of how the threads (souls) for these Aes Sedai creations were harvested and placed into the constructs. It is generally understood that the constructs were biologically engineered entities with sentience and threads that were part of the pattern. Perhaps a Ter Angreal was used to hold or capture a thread from a dying person and then recast it into the constructs before the wheel could reclaim the thread. Perhaps the constructs were built in such a way that when first initialized, it created a void for the wheel to weave a thread into the construct on its own. It is clear, based on the examples given of the Nym, that they learned and improved in their tasks over time so whether or not the thread was aware of the strangeness of its own incarnation, it seems reasonable to presume that it at least felt like a new beginning, from the thread's perspective, when it was cast into a construct.
Of course this raises a few immediate questions about free will and just how "peaceful" the Age of Legends really was. Because it seems constructs must have been compelled in one way or another to do what they were designed to do, the degree of control Aes Sedai wielded over civilization begins to look a bit less like a bunch of happy hand-holding golden times and a bit more like overwhelming the population with various degrees of One Power compulsion. I'm not sure a civilization without war or physical violence could be said to be peaceful if that peace came from compulsion, extreme population controls, "rehabilitation", and recapturing human souls to cast them into constructs. That's not peace at all. In fact, it's slavery. It's slavery not just of your physical body, but your very soul.
And this dystopian underbelly of the Age of Legends can be observed simply by looking at the constructs made for "good" purposes. When we look at the end of the age of legends we have to look at the constructs that became known, in the Third Age, as Shadowspawn. That they can and do reproduce on their own is explained in supplementary texts, if not the books themselves (though i don't think we get a very clear account of how they reproduce), but now we have to wonder where their threads came from initially, where they come from during the Third Age, and how they are woven into shadowspawn. The wheel must provide the threads for Third Age shadowspawn because, for most of that age, the Dark One would not have been able to capture threads on its own on account of the fact that it was sealed away from the pattern. Either that, or there is a really powerful Ter Angreal in some unknown location that captures a certain percentage of threads on its own and then weaves them into shadowspawn (which is an even more terrifying consideration). Either way, this means that those hoards of trollocs are all probably actually human souls that just got unlucky when they died and woven back into the pattern. Those "too human" eyes are, in fact, too human for a reason. Because they are human.

Before you call me crazy, hear me out:
The Prequel Trilogy was released from 1999-2005, the same span of years as Gold and Silver’s generation. In the prequel trilogy, we learn about Anakin, a Jedi who was deemed “The Chosen One”, Jedis are usually affiliated with the color Green (and Blue), What color is Scyther? Green!
Thought the duration of the Prequels, Anakin is good, fighting for the Old Republic and being one of the strongest Jedi, however, after being denied the rank of master (along with some other events such as the passing of his mother), a dark side of Anakin was formed inside of him, thus starting his transition to the Dark Side of the Force. Now, what does this have to do with Scyther? Well, its shiny form has red (pinker) accents on his neck and legs, and Red is the color most associated with the Sith (Think Darth Vader), thus signifying the Sith is taking over Anakin until he becomes one with them.
Now, in the last film of the Prequels: Revenge of the Sith, Anakin has betrayed the Jedi for the Sith, and this becomes apparent during Order 66 when he kills younglings with his lightsaber. This action and his overall discord with Obi-Wan Kenobi due to his newfound hatred for the Jedi cause them to duel on the fiery Planet Mustafar, with Obi-Wan leaving Anakin to die after slicing his libs off at the end of a lava pool, causing him to almost burn to death with no way to escape. However, Anakin is saved by Darth Sidious and is rebuilt into the Sith Cyborg Darth Vader. Now, what does this have to do with Scyther? When traded holding a metal coat, Scyther evolves into Scizor, a cyborg-like bug who is colored red, the same color as the Sith.
When evolving, Scyther goes from fast (Base 105 speed) to slow (Scizor has 65 speed). Similarly, Anakin was a fast, agile Jedi, but once he was imprisoned in the Darth Vader suit, he was a much slower cyborg. Anakin also admitted to not liking sand, and Scyther is 4x weak to rock, which can be connected as sand is a granulated rock (However Scyther is immune to ground, which all sand-based moves are typed). Scizor is 4x weak to fire, which was the primary cause of Anakin going into the Darth Vader suit after his fight with Obi-Wan. Scyther and Scizor also share the same Base Start Total, similarly to how Anakin spent 23 years as a Jedi and 23 years as Darth Vader according to the lore. As a final tidbit of connection, Darth Vader turned good right before he died in Return of the Jedi. This can be connected to Scizor’s shiny color, which is green, the color of the Jedi.
Now how did I come to this conclusion? I am a huge fan of both franchises, and the scythes Scyther posses reminded me of lightsabers as a child. Now a college-bound student, I have connected the dots and ready to share this with the community. If there is anything I missed, please comment below.

So, my party of level 4s just completed the Death House after our Undying Dhampir Warlock (Ghost) went on a tear against Walter’s fleshy mound and proceeded to roll excellently through the skill challenge whilst the others scrambled to keep up.
The most shocking moment was when they blasted the poor ghost in the dining hall to smithereens for shouting for aid.
The whole time they were carrying Ludwig (the dog), who was baying like mad. Vampyr, their patron, was watching all of this with great pleasure.
Our Arcane Trickster (Cekt) also found a hunk of Amber Resin, through which he has heard the voice of Delban, who has taken a keen interest in the Goblin’s thirst for blood and the arcane.
Our poor Hexblood Grave Cleric (Roran) got sliced up pretty badly by the hallway out of the house too.
No one helped poor Margaret, they all just charged the blades and took their chances.
S, having seen them via the Goblin hauling around the orb from the Dark Lord’s Shrine, and as thanks for their services, left them a single bag of holding and a thank you card with a blank map and three bottles of Red Dragon Crush.
All in all, Elizabeth died crying after bullying the party, the ghouls got some character moments to be prissy heels, and the Durst kids got to restore the family crest shield to glory and give it to the Cleric, who ended the curse by burying Walter (It’s a reskinned Pariah Shield).
Now, Barovia is in the distance down the old road, and the adventure is set to properly begin.

I hope this belongs in this sub, but if not, please direct me to the proper place, thanks <3
I am a minor, and I’ve been trapped in an abusive situation for my entire life. At least, I believe it’s abusive, or at the very least toxic.
The abuse isn’t physical, but more verbal/emotional/psychological. A big portion of it is that my father is extremely concerned about the safety of our family (mother, brother, and I). Prior to the pandemic (middle school age and younger), I was rarely allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. In these cases (less than 5), my father either had to be present for the entire time, or I had to be in a public place (like a library) with my older brother present for the entire time. This was to avoid myself potentially being kidnapped or assaulted at another person’s house. (I am female) It didn’t matter that most of my friends were girls; my father was worried that their uncles would show up without advance notice, or that their brothers would assault me.
To this day, I have walked down my own street unsupervised less than 5 times in my entire life. I live in the suburbs (not a city or somewhere with a high crime rate), but I am not allowed to step outside of my house’s property lines unless I am walking to my bus stop for school. Additionally, if myself or my mother are in our backyard and a neighbor is nearby, we must go inside and hide until they are gone before returning outside.
Since the pandemic hit, I have been almost fully isolated from the outside world unless there is a necessary event or school. I have just graduated high school, but I haven’t been with my friends outside of a school event in the past four years. My father believes socialization with friends is important only if you “have nothing better to do,” and that I have already achieved enough socialization at business events.
My father also has extreme anger issues and is extremely controlling toward my family. He often yells at my mother or questions her for hours (sometimes 5 hours at a time), and will get angrier if she loses patience or raises her voice back (he views this as disrespectful). I myself often get into trouble for “lying” (as in saying something that is true but he doesn’t think is right), misspeaking, or other things. He views his anger as uncontrollable and expects us to accommodate his temper. I also believe he is manipulative, as he almost always blames us if he is angry (“Why are you always like this? We could have avoided this if you had _____”). I have tried multiple times to express that him yelling at my mother has affected my mental health, but he blames me for that as well, telling me that all couples are like this and I’m making this a problem in my head – all I have to do is stop being affected and tell myself that I don’t need to be sad. He has specifically told me that if I keep crying when he yells at my mother, then my mother will not be able to talk much anymore (because he yells at her constantly for saying things he doesn’t approve of). He has taken to calling me “emotionally weak” if I cry, and reminds me that I need to “grow up.”
He is also racist and homophobic. My brother and I are often lectured about how those who are LGBT+ are mentally ill and need to be fixed for the “survival of humanity”. I am bisexual, but have kept my identity hidden from everyone in my family except for my brother and one cousin for this reason. I am also not allowed to date at this time (even though I am almost 18), and will be questioned if I am seen talking to a boy or if I have befriended a boy.
The result of all of this is that I have been feeling increasingly trapped. I began harming myself 2-3 years ago to cope with not being able to cry freely. I feel as if my life is always falling apart. I come home from school to screaming and anger, and I always feel tense as I try to not set my father off. I will be attending a university that is several states away in the fall, but he has repeatedly threatened to force me to transfer to a school very close by if I am not continuously obedient. I am not actively trying to kill myself, but I always think about it.
I have been increasingly emotionally unstable. At my worst points, all I want to do is die, and then minutes later I feel better and fear that I am simply being dramatic. I always feel ungrateful that I do not appreciate my father’s concern for my safety, but at the same time, I was almost completely robbed of a normal and healthy childhood. I don’t see a way out of this situation except for death. I cannot actively seek a way to improve the situation, because my father will simply further isolate me as punishment for being disrespectful.
To be honest, I hate my life, and I hate myself. I have a boyfriend of over a year who I feel safe with, but I’m terrified of being discovered by my father and losing my emotional support (my father would most likely also cut me off from my friends). I am terrified of being myself even when my father is not around, as I am paranoid about my father seeing pictures on others’ social media posts that will expose me.
I don’t see this getting better. I am hopeless in every sense, knowing that I have to deal with this situation or otherwise deal with it becoming worse. My close friends and boyfriend are aware, but they can’t do anything more than offer emotional support, and sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes I just want to escape, and death feels like the only way. In college, my father will not allow me to go off campus, nor will he allow me to socialize in other students’ dorms – he expects me to go to classes and otherwise remain in my dorm room, and he will call me regularly to check that I am being obedient.
I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I don’t even know if it’s worth it to live anymore. Maybe I’m being overdramatic. Maybe I’m just an ungrateful and selfish person who doesn’t care about safety. I don’t know.

Kinda don’t know how to frame this question, but essentially I’m curious if you know of any house or techno DJs that use a lot of quick transitions, cuts, and potentially scratching. I love house music but I have a foundation in hip hop. DJ Funk is probably the closest example as to what I mean when I say “battle style.” I noticed he does lots of quick cuts and usually doesn’t let a song play for more than a minute or two. I like the energy of his playing style and have been dying to hear more similar DJs.

long story short it's roaming
roaming is the worst habit to have as a support
just be serious with yourself
you are risking the whole game when you decide to roam
1 - your adc ahead of behind will be zoned from farm
you are basically making it impossible for your adc to comeback into the game if he is behind
if he is ahead he won't be able to push his lead further and he won't get kills since no adc can 1v2 if he's not very fed and if he tries he will die and int and throw that lead he had
2 - if your roam fails it's game over
lets get an example
you went to mid, your akali is pushed by the enemy 2/0 yasuo
you ganked, you died, yasuo got a double, ff 15
that's it, you lost the game in one bad roam
bye

***Hello,As so many on here demand, when sending your FIRST DM please include your Name, Location, Age and a photo. Please do not just DM hi.*** I am only interested in something longterm with the right person. I am in no way shape or form looking for, flings, one night stands, to be 1 of 12 in your rotation etc. Please no games or drama, that stuff was ok 20 years ago lol. I honestly am leaning towards NO children as I find it near impossible to find someone to take out for coffee, let alone have a child with. So atm anything child related is a hard pass unless for some reason you are in fact so different from everyone else that you completely change my outlook on life, then and only then can we perhaps entertain the thought of children ( this also includes people that currently have children, no thanks). I do work full time, just starting a new job. I do enjoy to cook and bbq and would love someone who is also capable of cooking and or can bring something new to the table. I am looking for the ride or die type, someone I dont have to walk on eggshells around, someone who doesnt support the alphabet army or go along with any of those mainstream woke psychosis. Someone with a great and very dark sense of humor, you can take it and give it right back. Just someone who's fun, likes to travel, and actually wants to build a life together.-------------------Hard NO's; 1. Cigarette smokers 2. heavy drinkers 3. History of physical / sexual abuse 4. mens haircuts 5. Anyone remotely close to any possible viral clip you can imagine 6. Single moms 7. New Profiles / BRAND NEW accounts 8. --------------------Please be 420 friendlyComedians : Tom Segura, Dave Chapelle, Jim Norton, Bill Burr, Tim Dillon aka The Pig, Mark Normand, Christina P, Ali Wong, Joe Rogan, William Montgomery aka the big red machine, kill tony, etc to name a few--------------------Shows : Trailer park boys, Letter kenney, simpsons, forensic files ( anything crime related especially serial killer documentaries ), Brooklyn 99, schitts creek, Seinfeld, southpark, breaking bad, better call Saul, Shoresy , Paradise PD, Brickleberry, Banshee, Ozarks blah blah---------------------Music : literally all over the place, mostly prefer metal / edm , changes by mood.---------------------variety of podcasts : YMH, Radio Rental, Crime Junkie, Tim Dillon show, Congratulations, stuff you should know, All over the road, tuesdays with stories, park after dark , Ramsey show, JRE, chip chipperson , Haiyaa with Nigel Eng, long days, history hyenas etc

***Hello,As so many on here demand, when sending your FIRST DM please include your Name, Location, Age and a photo. Please do not just DM hi.***
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I am only interested in something longterm with the right person. I am in no way shape or form looking for, flings, one night stands, to be 1 of 12 in your rotation etc. Please no games or drama, that stuff was ok 20 years ago lol. I honestly am leaning towards NO children as I find it near impossible to find someone to take out for coffee, let alone have a child with. So atm anything child related is a hard pass unless for some reason you are in fact so different from everyone else that you completely change my outlook on life, then and only then can we perhaps entertain the thought of children ( this also includes people that currently have children, no thanks). I do work full time, just starting a new job. I do enjoy to cook and bbq and would love someone who is also capable of cooking and or can bring something new to the table. I am looking for the ride or die type, someone I dont have to walk on eggshells around, someone who doesnt support the alphabet army or go along with any of those mainstream woke psychosis. Someone with a great and very dark sense of humor, you can take it and give it right back. Just someone who's fun, likes to travel, and actually wants to build a life together.-------------------Hard NO's; 1. Cigarette smokers 2. heavy drinkers 3. History of physical / sexual abuse 4. mens haircuts 5. Anyone remotely close to any possible viral clip you can imagine 6. Single moms 7. New Profiles / BRAND NEW accounts 8. --------------------Please be 420 friendlyComedians : Tom Segura, Dave Chapelle, Jim Norton, Bill Burr, Tim Dillon aka The Pig, Mark Normand, Christina P, Ali Wong, Joe Rogan, William Montgomery aka the big red machine, kill tony, etc to name a few--------------------Shows : Trailer park boys, Letter kenney, simpsons, forensic files ( anything crime related especially serial killer documentaries ), Brooklyn 99, schitts creek, Seinfeld, southpark, breaking bad, better call Saul, Shoresy , Paradise PD, Brickleberry, Banshee, Ozarks blah blah---------------------Music : literally all over the place, mostly prefer metal / edm , changes by mood.---------------------variety of podcasts : YMH, Radio Rental, Crime Junkie, Tim Dillon show, Congratulations, stuff you should know, All over the road, tuesdays with stories, park after dark , Ramsey show, JRE, chip chipperson , Haiyaa with Nigel Eng, long days, history hyenas etc

God I don't know where to start but here goes.... So I recently started to play the sims like a month ago so I'm totally new. Made my female young adult sim and focused on her only. Well she met the love of her life and was besotted, I had them date, fall in love, take holidays, get married, the lot! I didn't know at the time he was an older adult so once they had their first kids, a set of twins and he aged up to an elder I was like wtf. Because I was new I didn't know about mods and how you could even change the settings on age. 5 kids later, two sets of twins and a toddler he only went and died on me of old age. I am gutted! His wife was able to seduce death before to let him live but it didn't work a second time. I looked up the cheats and how to change the settings etc but I was too late. He's dead now and his wife sim is inconsolable. I know it's just a game but this is the first time I ever invested fully into a family and a storyline and I am proper upset. Can't talk to my friends or family about the loss as they will think I'm insane lol. But yeah I guess I just wanted to talk about it with others that might get it. Will he come back as a ghost? She has his urn and has done the thing to strengthen to the other side etc. Going to try and do the legacy thing eventually there's 5 kids to pick from. Thanks for reading lol.

not for me, but my dad got his phd in molecular bio the year before i was born (1994), and was working a postdoc when i was still a kid -- unfortunately, we werent very wealthy growing up with both parents being first gen immigrants; dad obviously couldnt put his life/family on hold to screw around searching for his dream job in academia, and ended up finishing out his training to become a pharmacist (i think that was his undergrad major?) to support his kids for the remainder of his working years
he's since retired and has much more free time these days -- has made mention of maybe trying to volunteer his time towards some labs at nearby unis, though i'm not sure if he's serious at all about this or how realistic this would even be at his age (early 70s), especially given that the field and the technology's probably evolved quite a bit since he left mid-to-late 90s (he's not great with computers btw -- mainly uses them to stream shows or check retirement funds -- and only uses his phone to scroll news or send texts sparingly)
was wondering if anyone could recommend any books/journals/review papers/any sort of media that might at least be a good read for him, keep him sharp, and maybe catch him up to what's happened/happening in the fieldhe's pretty old-fashioned, so print format might work better than web platforms (i've tried showing him to biorxiv and scihub, but he perhaps wasnt too interested or maybe reluctant to work with the digital format). so i'd be open to things like journal mags or other curated content i can subscribe him to that arent too targeted towards laymen
i'll also mention that i bought him "the gene: an intimate history" by siddartha mukherjee for his birthday some years ago, and while he tore through it in maybe ~1-2 weeks or so, i dont think he was too impressed by it -- could just be his rather reserved personality, but i was given the impression that the content of this book was more-or-less trivial stuff he already knew
thanks in advance for any recommendations; i'm a physicist so dont really know anything at all about what might be good for a trained biologist. i know he used to tell us stories about how excited he was reading about watson/crick's discovery as a kid, and my mom/sis would told me that he'd dream/joke about winning a nobel (lol). just wanna try to help him reconnect with his deepest passion, considering he put it off and worked the rest of his life to the bone (and put up with a lot of bullshit) for our sake as kids. not to mention he played a pretty big role in me going down the science track
if it helps to find something more field-specific, his phd thesis involved sequencing and phylogeny for some species of hawaiian fruit flies, and i think he also did some work on the preferential binding of lactoferrin to DNA... don't ask me for any more details than this though lol, but i did track down his thesis, as well as some of his papers from his time in the field if anyone thinks that might be useful

A lot happened before my father passed my sisters both demanded accounts and signed on the way they owned our father and her to the lot of large amount of money before he retired one sister had full control to put one account and because her husband had knowledge of how to control people with these accounts and how to sign them to where you own them and could walk away with all that one dollar unless my dad wanted to press charges felony and he did not he lived with that for several years the thing was my brother-in-law demanded I didn't no help and no cash from my father who bought me a vehicle and he also demanded who bought from him so he could have his own cash that started a bad thing but on the other note my other sister and brother planned a long time ago to steal all on the end and one sister her whole name go in life was to still everything in the end to work as a librarian in order to mingle with authorities with a plan of cutting me out because mother made her hate me when we were children she told her she was a real oldest daughter I was adopted by my father in the state of Missouri because I had no father my mother was abusive to me and she got her words she cut me out she got threw me out of the family they had me abused I had a death threat at one time when my memories came back I have an appointment to talk to a trusted her recovery attorney next week but it's well down to now it's a dirty stuff but they're still a very large amount of money missing that was too preachers one being a bad lawyer who was elected to prosecutor because of his name the state of Missouri couldn't help me with that because he was elected. There's no protection for heirs even though there's laws in Missouri. And when did in-laws with hating their heart and greed they come errors assets were never reported I never got anything from my dad as far as I had property stored there I finally got my camper but it cost me a lot my brother forced me to sign titles and soon tops and my sister would use them on something I told her it would be fraud because they couldn't Court can tell immediately that the paper was added to after the signature landlords can't get away with that anymore unless the person can't take them to court then they do cuz it happened to me before my thoughts are I was abused my life was certain all this Northwest Missouri it's very corrupt a bank account was moved when I was dying in another state and the prosecutor won't even let me look because it's been a few years back I need prosecutor the bank was concerned like there was a criminal and that prosecutor said get a lawyer well that's all I was told by a person well when they have more money and they've used pictures to launder money they use the prosecutor to get their way to not probate a larger state and they turn their back on me that goes to me like I am a disease because I know what they did my life was in dangerous I still don't feel safe I'm in this town I'm working on getting away from here so I can take care of the rest of this but my children didn't deserve to be cut out my father did not do this they did what they wanted for very large amount of money who got a very large attack right before he died and then I don't know who got the money I'm not money doesn't drive me but the fact that they did what they did has me irritated because my children did not deserve this my brother was supposed to probate and help me get all this done so my sister's got their way so far but my mother was in the background she was the first ex-wife and he was single but my one sister control freak controlled dad never move after his last divorce and he couldn't trust her she stole tooth imagine that grave sold them a year later without telling him to make banked on that but she did that because my other sister would find onto his largest inheritance account and controlling him with it he didn't press start his own either one but he did turn him in before he died after he got that last check he was bullied that's why they wanted my memory is gone I hired somebody to come into my life I found Love with a narcissist who was there for hire St Joe Missouri is very corrupt Andrew county was where the prosecutor fake probate attorney was they're still a fake casing at the judge refused to move it off but my brother is no longer represented who paid it to get it stopped to get those two titles back my father bought way more local than that my brother and said he was doing his own probate he bullied me to sign in 15 titles two were property I can't find out where those went except for I know they were laundered through his church his Titan picture who greedy preacher but also was involved and getting money off the top that's I'm in the assets it's all a mess it's a very big mess I'm talking to Tony next week another one thing is only have one chance that they got more money than they're counting you know I they laundered money they did it's on public 300 vehicles cars and trucks at dad bought for probate my brother promised to do with me that sisters pays him to do with that program that month is already had the prosecuting attorney as a lawyer he's not even a probate lawyer and now he's not a prosecutor attorney who knows he did wrong he's also a preacher but he's one of those tithing pictures like the other one putting printers lying their own pockets with other people's money they don't give it to the floor they're legal things in my eyes but I'm opinionated

I am a minor, and I’ve been trapped in an abusive situation for my entire life. At least, I believe it’s abusive, or at the very least toxic.
The abuse isn’t physical, but more verbal/emotional/psychological. A big portion of it is that my father is extremely concerned about the safety of our family (mother, brother, and I). Prior to the pandemic (middle school age and younger), I was rarely allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. In these cases (less than 5), my father either had to be present for the entire time, or I had to be in a public place (like a library) with my older brother present for the entire time. This was to avoid myself potentially being kidnapped or assaulted at another person’s house. (I am female) It didn’t matter that most of my friends were girls; my father was worried that their uncles would show up without advance notice, or that their brothers would assault me.
To this day, I have walked down my own street unsupervised less than 5 times in my entire life. I live in the suburbs (not a city or somewhere with a high crime rate), but I am not allowed to step outside of my house’s property lines unless I am walking to my bus stop for school. Additionally, if myself or my mother are in our backyard and a neighbor is nearby, we must go inside and hide until they are gone before returning outside.
Since the pandemic hit, I have been almost fully isolated from the outside world unless there is a necessary event or school. I have just graduated high school, but I haven’t been with my friends outside of a school event in the past four years. My father believes socialization with friends is important only if you “have nothing better to do,” and that I have already achieved enough socialization at business events.
My father also has extreme anger issues and is extremely controlling toward my family. He often yells at my mother or questions her for hours (sometimes 5 hours at a time), and will get angrier if she loses patience or raises her voice back (he views this as disrespectful). I myself often get into trouble for “lying” (as in saying something that is true but he doesn’t think is right), misspeaking, or other things. He views his anger as uncontrollable and expects us to accommodate his temper. I also believe he is manipulative, as he almost always blames us if he is angry (“Why are you always like this? We could have avoided this if you had _____”). I have tried multiple times to express that him yelling at my mother has affected my mental health, but he blames me for that as well, telling me that all couples are like this and I’m making this a problem in my head – all I have to do is stop being affected and tell myself that I don’t need to be sad. He has specifically told me that if I keep crying when he yells at my mother, then my mother will not be able to talk much anymore (because he yells at her constantly for saying things he doesn’t approve of). He has taken to calling me “emotionally weak” if I cry, and reminds me that I need to “grow up.”
He is also racist and homophobic. My brother and I are often lectured about how those who are LGBT+ are mentally ill and need to be fixed for the “survival of humanity”. I am bisexual, but have kept my identity hidden from everyone in my family except for my brother and one cousin for this reason. I am also not allowed to date at this time (even though I am almost 18), and will be questioned if I am seen talking to a boy or if I have befriended a boy.
The result of all of this is that I have been feeling increasingly trapped. I began harming myself 2-3 years ago to cope with not being able to cry freely. I feel as if my life is always falling apart. I come home from school to screaming and anger, and I always feel tense as I try to not set my father off. I will be attending a university that is several states away in the fall, but he has repeatedly threatened to force me to transfer to a school very close by if I am not continuously obedient. I am not actively trying to kill myself, but I always think about it.
I have been increasingly emotionally unstable. At my worst points, all I want to do is die, and then minutes later I feel better and fear that I am simply being dramatic. I always feel ungrateful that I do not appreciate my father’s concern for my safety, but at the same time, I was almost completely robbed of a normal and healthy childhood. I don’t see a way out of this situation except for death. I cannot actively seek a way to improve the situation, because my father will simply further isolate me as punishment for being disrespectful.
To be honest, I hate my life, and I hate myself. I have a boyfriend of over a year who I feel safe with, but I’m terrified of being discovered by my father and losing my emotional support (my father would most likely also cut me off from my friends). I am terrified of being myself even when my father is not around, as I am paranoid about my father seeing pictures on others’ social media posts that will expose me.
I don’t see this getting better. I am hopeless in every sense, knowing that I have to deal with this situation or otherwise deal with it becoming worse. My close friends and boyfriend are aware, but they can’t do anything more than offer emotional support, and sometimes that’s not enough. Sometimes I just want to escape, and death feels like the only way. In college, my father will not allow me to go off campus, nor will he allow me to socialize in other students’ dorms – he expects me to go to classes and otherwise remain in my dorm room, and he will call me regularly to check that I am being obedient.
I don’t think I can live like this anymore. I don’t even know if it’s worth it to live anymore. Maybe I’m being overdramatic. Maybe I’m just an ungrateful and selfish person who doesn’t care about safety. I don’t know.

Age: 23. Sex: Male. Height: 5"8. Weight:125 pounds. Duration of Complaint: 3 years. Medication: Auvelity and Geodon.
For the past 3 years I've been dealing with Emotional Numbness and Sexual Dysfunction that all began after an intense and chronic episode of stress, depression, and anxiety. My body and brain was constantly in fight or flight mode and then one day all of a sudden everything just seemed to shut down and things haven't been the same since.
Regarding the Sexual Dysfunction, I have Erectile Dysfunction. My erection quality has significantly diminished. I no longer wake up in the morning with an erection, I can't get an erection or maintain one, and I don't get random erections anymore.
My sex drive is also gone. I used to have a very high sex drive. I no longer feel sexual attraction, desire, thoughts, etc. I no longer have an urge to have sex or even masturbate.
I've also noticed that I have reduced sensation to my penis. When I try to stimulate it, it just feels dead.
With the Emotional Numbness, my emotions are severely blunted. I can't feel arousal, I can't feel adrenaline, I can't laugh like I used to, I can't feel euphoria, etc. I also can no longer feel stress hormones. I can no longer feel the sensation of my heart beating out of my chest when I am in adrenaline inducing sensations.
The Emotional Blunting and the Sexual Dysfunction have been the most bothersome symptoms, but other symptoms I have noticed in addition to this are: I don't have an appetite, I have muscle tension, and I also have brain fog/head pressure.
I believe that episode of intense stress, anxiety, and depression caused inflammation to my brain and body that has been difficult to reverse.
I've had my Hormones checked via blood. My Cortisol in the morning was pretty elevated. I had an ACTH Stimulation Test done, but it actually revealed my Cortisol was a bit lower than it should be. My Endocrinologist had me take Hydrocortisone for 8 weeks, but I felt no difference.
I also had an MRI of my Brain and Pituitary Gland and both were normal.
I am currently seeing a Functional Medicine Doctor and he ordered further testing including a Cortisol Saliva Test and a 24 Hour Dried Urine Test.
These were the abnormalities noted from my blood tests:
1) My Vitamin D was insufficient. The value was 28.3: Reference Range: 31.0 -80.0 ng/mL.
2) My White Blood Cell Count was low. The value was 3.52. Reference Range: 4.00 - 11.00 K/uL
3) My Vitamin A was high. The value was 62.5. Reference Range: 18.9 - 57.3 ug/dL
4) My Estradiol was high. The value was 49 pg/mL. Reference Range: < OR = 39 pg/mL
4) I had an Essential Fatty Acid Deficiency.
5) I had an Increased Insulin Level.
6) My Vitamin B6 was on the lower side.
7) My Testosterone levels were normal. They were listed at 872 ng/dL. Reference Range: 250-1100 ng/dL.
8) My Free Testosterone was a little high. It was listed at 160.2 pg/mL. Reference Range: 35.0 - 155.0 pg/mL.
9) My Dihydrotestosterone (DHT) was high. It was listed at 98 ng/dL. Reference Range: 12-65 ng/dL.
10 Cortisol, A.M. was slightly elevated via blood. It was listed at 22.3 mcg/dL. Reference Range 8 A.M. (7-9 A.M.) Specimen: 4.0-22.0.
I also had a 24 Hour Dried Urine Test and Saliva Test that revealed the following:
1) b-Pregnanediol was below range. The value was 32.0 ng/mg. Normal Range: 75-400.
2) a- Pregnanediol was on the low end of range. The value was 31.4 ng/mg. Normal Range: 20-130.
3) Estradiol (E2) was above the range. The value was 2.2 ng/mg. Normal Range: 0.50-2.2.
4) Estriol (E3) was above the range. The value was 10.6 ng/mg. Normal Range: 2-8.
5) 4-OH-E1 was above the range. The value was 0.8 ng/mg. Normal Range: 0-0.8.
6) Total Estrogen was above the range. The value was 34.8 ng/mg. Normal Range: 10-34.
7) 2-Methoxy-E1 was on the high end of range. The value was 2.34 ng/mg. Normal Range: 0-2.8.
8) Androsterone was above the range. The value was 3157.0 ng/mg. Normal Range: 500-3000.
9) 5b-Androstanediol was on the high end of range. The value was 244.6 ng/mg. Normal Range: 40-250.
10) Saliva Cortisol - Waking (W) Was above the range. The value was 6.3 ng/mL. Normal Range: 1.6 - 4.6.
11) Saliva Cortisol - W+30 min was on the low end of range. The value was 3.96 ng/mL. Normal Range: 3.7 - 8.2.
12) Saliva Cortisol - W+60 min was below the range. The value was 2.2 ng/mL. Normal Range: 2.3 - 5.3.
13) Saliva Cortisol - Afternoon was on the low end of range. The value was 0.48 ng/mL. Normal Range: 0.4 - 1.5.
14) Saliva Cortisol - Night was within range. The value was 0.33 ng/mL. Normal Range: 0 - 0.9.
15) Saliva Cortisone - Waking (W) was above range. The value was 23.13 ng/mL. Normal Range: 6.8 - 14.5.
16) Saliva Cortisone - W+30 min was above range. The value was 19.74 ng/mL. Normal Range: 12.4 -19.4.
17) Saliva Cortisone - W + 60 min was above range. The value was 15.59 ng/mL. Normal Range: 9.4 - 15.3.
18) Saliva Cortisone - Night was on the high end. The value was 3.93 ng/mL. Normal Range: 0-0.48.
19) Saliva Cortisone Total - Above range. The value was 65.96 ng/mL. Normal Range: 36 - 55.
20) a-Tetrahydrocortisol (a-THF) - Above range. The value was 877.0 ng/mg. Normal Range: 175 - 700.
21) Pyroglutamate was on the low end of range. The value was 45.8 ug/mg. Normal Range: 38 - 83.
22) Homovanillate (HVA) was on the low end of range. The value was 5.7 ug/mg. Normal Range: 4 - 16.
His Nurse Practitioner ordered other blood tests for further investigation and accuracy including:
• CBC and differential • Vitamin A and Metabolite • Hemoglobin A1c • Estradiol • Cortisol • Free Testosterone Evaluation • Pregnenolone • DHEAS • Dihydrotestosterone • Basic Metabolic Profile • Lipid Profile
The Nurse Practitioner gave me three supplement recommendations:
1) OmegaGenics® EPA-DHA 1000 (60 Softgels) (Metagenics): Please take 1 gel, once / day.
2) Vitamin D3 2500iu (100 Softgels) (Jarrow Formulas): Please take 1 gel, once / day.
3) B6/B1 Plus Zinc (90 capsules) (Biotics Research): Please take 1 capsule, once / day.
I am also currently seeing a Psychiatrist. I've tried Wellbutrin starting at 150MG, then 300MG, and then 400MG to no avail. I then tried Rexulti along with the Wellbutrin and it didn't help. I then tried Trintellix and that didn't help. He put me on Auvelity for 8 weeks and I felt no difference. He is currently having me take a low dose of Geodon along with the Auvelity for the last 4 weeks. So far not much of a difference.
This is where I stand right now. I am still investigating and working with my Psychiatrist as well as my Functional Medicine Practitioner.
I just wanted to know what do you guys think about my test results as it correlates with my symptoms?

Okay, so where do we start. First off, TW// Abuse and Alcohol and Drug Mentions i’ll just get it straightI, 18M, have autism (aspergers syndrome if we want to be specific), and I had to cope with the death of my father since I was 10. He presented himself as a nice guy, and the family photos, everything. I truly missed him and looked up to him. I have a stepfather who I also very much appreciate as he’s helped to fill the gap of my father since I was 10.
However, last night, I searched up my dad’s name on google (I will NOT disclose it here) and found several criminal records, offshore bank accounts, etc. he was a criminal, and a sex abuser. My mother NEVER told me about this nor did my stepfather (who knew due to my mother telling him), so I grew up thinking he was a great guy. After confronting my mother about this, I learned he cheated on her several times and even held her at gunpoint and went “Tell me if you’re cheating and if you don’t say a word and deny it by the count of ten I’m gonna shoot you” while HE was the cheater, NOT my mom, and my grandmother was present and had to help save my mother.
Okay, next, I hugged my mother and felt terrible about the sins of my father. I went to my grandmother who’s in the area currently, asked her about the situation, and she told me he came home absolutely wasted from drugs and alcohol. Now I knew he was a drug abuser. Went home, went to my bedroom, was absolutely mad (I already have temper issues, this is the maddest I’ve been in a long time) and threw a picture of me and him in a glass frame at the wall, ripped family photos that involved young me and him (that belonged to me) and just had a total meltdown due to what happened, and stuck in the floor crying. I don’t know how to move on, I’ve talked to my therapist about this, I’d just love for some outside help or words of encouragement or just general nice words.
It’s just been completely terrible, I wish I had a good father, I wish my stepfather was my real father, because I grew up all these years idolizing a fake version of a man who was EXTREMELY flawed and thought he was perfect. Turns out, when I was 7, he would arrive home at the same time I went to school and say “hey! Dad’s back from work!” So I thought he was a traditional businessman, but now according to my mom, what happened was those times he said that, it wasn’t work, he was out partying all night with prostitutes.
I just hate him so much now, I know he’s dead, I can’t do anything about it, but he’s hurt so much people, and people CONSTANTLY say “you look like your father” to me, which I thought was a compliment but now feel as if it’s an insult. It’s terrible, hate it. I wish I could do something about it.

ATP Singles

Jarry vs Ruud :

If you watched Geneva last week, you saw the scariest version of Nicolas Jarry that the tour has ever seen. He’s always been a dominant server, but his baseline game seems to have become consistent out of nowhere. That consistency hasn’t come at the expense of his aggressive shot selection either. Somehow, Jarry is ballin and it is a welcome sight.
At the same time that Jarry leveled up, Casper Ruud began finding his form again. He’s been such a consistent performer at times that when he loses, the whole conversation is about him. It all started with a lopsided loss to Shelton in Cincinnati last season. We now see that this is not so bad. He’s lost as a favorite against Daniel, Arnaldi, Struff, and Garin. These losses may seem like issues, but I think it’s just very difficult to maintain a high level on tour. Burnout is real, and we don’t always know the physical condition and motivation of the players. It’s a bit out of character for Ruud, because he has always taken a very professional approach to matches, but as he gets a few major finals and a number of 250 titles under his belt, the pressure of expectations fades. If he never wins another match, his legacy as top player on tour is already cemented. At this point, it’s entirely feasible that his team is looking to peak at the majors, since that would be the last big feather in his cap.
Ruud is playing near his best tennis this week, despite dropping a few sets on the way here. Zhizhen Zhang has become a mainstay on tour which is a pretty great transition from the Challenger level, but him winning a set against Ruud isn’t cause for alarm bells for me. Zhang has a very powerful serve and goes huge on his groundstrokes, so at times he’s just going to be unplayable, and more importantly he’s the type of opponent who is more dangerous on a big point. Jarry is going to bring a similar level of pressure and risk, and after winning in three heroic sets in Geneva he’ll be feeling confident here.
The market for this one opened with Ruud at -214, and it has gone all the way down to -173. I disagree. These are slower conditions, Jarry has played a lot of tennis in the past few weeks, and Ruud is playing well behind his forehand. Jarry’s backhand is more dangerous here, but it feels like a spot where he is even at best. Just considering that Ruud has been given a ton of footage to review with his team makes me think he might return a bit better, and the slower conditions mean the rapid fire baseline rallies they exchanged in Geneva (ultra fast conditions for clay) will be a bit more subdued. We’ve all seen these conditions lend the more stable player an edge as matches drag on, and I think that will be the case here. Jarry’s serve and power can’t be dismissed in straight sets, but I think that this will be an extreme physical test and that Ruud’s ability to create off his forehand will be very useful once both players are tired. Ruud in 5.

Rune vs Cerundolo :

Rune had a simple match against a very similar but weaker player, and he made it look easy. Olivieri couldn’t really get anything going, and Rune was able to remain neutral in rallies until he got a full swing. Once he did, it was usually only 2-3 shots before the point was over. Him being so technically sound makes it really hard for players without a big offense to beat him. It just becomes a matter of whether Rune will put in the work, and his strength and conditioning are very good, and his energy levels are Space Jam stuff at times. Here he has a difficult task, but one I think he can handle. These two met in 2019, with Cerundolo winning in straights. They are two entirely different players now though, and it’s Rune who looks much sharper now.
Cerundolo had a tough test in Taylor Fritz, but I thought fatigue would be the way he lost. He seemed fresh throughout, and that made life very difficult on Fritz. I don’t love Taylor’s demeanor on court when he’s losing, he’s very emotive and complains about the conditions and bad bounces and overall it just gives a lot of belief to an opponent. If you are easily moved by emotions, it’s better to sort of hold it together until it bubbles over. One, because it will gradually let you practice not being so reactive. Two, because a real big rageout scream or racquet smash can change momentum and rattle an opponent. It’s not classy, but when you’re already losing, anything that changes the feel of the match in the court has potential to help. Whining does very little, and the crowd in Paris is not a big fan of that at all. The crowd was fairly respectful, and Fritz’s shushing from his match against Rinderknech did not seem to be an issue with them. McEnroe remarked that most of the fans were probably unfamiliar with Fritz, which is actually absurd, but standard.
The Tennis Channel team does not seem to actively follow the tour, and their view of things is almost always a bit reductive and puzzling. McEnroe also did not seem to know that they had changed the balls this year, and honestly I wind up muting tennis audio far too often because of announcers. It makes it really refreshing actually to hear Gil Gross working a match. Is this an article about Gil Gross? Maybe. Gross seems like a kid who would insist on telling me that baby carrots are actually made from full-sized carrots, but the effort he puts into analyzing tennis and respecting the game is much appreciated. He actually was mid-sentence and said “and I’ll hold that thought because play is about to resume.” What? Unheard of. Announcers not talking over the rallies? Announcers not telling us exactly what we just saw? Announcers teaching us about tennis technique and matchup issues? Announcers not … talking … with weird pauses … because they think … that’s what announcers do? Announcers not leaving out half their sentences because they think we’re listening along to their internal monologue? Announcers who are familiar with the players on tour outside the top 100? Wow. Just wow. Anyway, Gil seems like he’d be fun to do a puzzle with, and I’m glad that he’s getting somewhere in the tennis world because he really seems like a fan of the game.
I don’t think Cerundolo can win this match. Against Fritz, he dominated things behind his dropshot and forehand. Fritz moves forward poorly on clay, something I honestly didn’t realize. He won nearly no rallies where Cerundolo used it. At the same time, he couldn’t get to Cerundolo’s forehand, so what was he covering? The reason he fell victim to both these balls is because he had zero variation on his backhand. Usually when I’m griping about Fritz, I exaggerate a bit, but I don’t think I saw him hit one backhand up the line during a neutral rally. He just kept trying to infuse a little bit of depth and height cross-court, but it became predictable very early on. The backhand up the line is bad because it opens up the cross-court forehand for Cerundolo, but you still have to hit it a good enough chunk of the time to keep your opponent from camping in the backhand corner, which is what Francisco did for the entire match. This just won’t be an option against Rune, because he has a way better backhand than Fritz, and because he has the speed to run down dropshots. He’s also a clay specialist in terms of his background, so he’ll be comfortable in long rallies where Taylor wasn’t.
I think Cerundolo is the Fritz in this matchup, because he has a ton of power but I think he has to look to score all his own points. Rune is fresh, and won’t give him many unforced errors. This should be a very close match in terms of the scoreline, but I think Rune’s speed and stability get him through here. Rune in 4.

Etcheverry vs Nishioka :

Nishioka and Seyboth Wild put on a great show. The Brazilian phenom ran out of gas, but he really gave us a ton of excitement in the first week of this event. For Yoshihito, these points are incredibly useful. He doesn’t have many clay points from last season at all, so this gives him a good chance to improve his ranking in the hardcourt season where he’s sure to win a handful of matches in the hot conditions. I usually find myself talking about what a great result people are having once their tournament is over, and I do think this is Nishioka’s last round. He’s been winning by outlasting his opponent, and there does not seem to be an end to Etcheverry. Coric and Etcheverry were expected to play an exhausting contest, and they did. The difference in power was clear from the start though. Etcheverry plays like a baseliner but he’s 6‘5” and he is really crushing the ball at this tournament. Coric hung tough, but he just couldn’t get a ball by him.
Etcheverry will need to be patient in this match, but I think he can break down Nishioka’s forehand. The loopy returns work well against shorter players, but Etcheverry should be able to lean into them since he’s a bit taller. His edge on serving is also huge, his delivery was a big key in keeping him fresh while Coric struggled to hold serve without putting in a ton of work. Nishioka is crushing his backhand, and that flat pace could prove a bit tough for the taller player, but I don’t see it winning him the match. Overall, I just think these guys have been competing in two different weight classes thus far, and Etcheverry is the pick. Etcheverry in 3-4.

Dimitrov vs Zverev :

Dimitrov is the ultimate trickster. Just when we think he’s too injury prone or too Dimitrov to be a threat on tour, he breaks out his best tennis. He’s been lights out this week, dismissing contenders in good form in a way that throughout most of his career he has never done. This is probably his best chance to beat Zverev, but the last 3 matches have gone Zverev’s way. If I had to guess, it’s because Zverev’s backhand is so stable. He doesn’t really go for a lot with it most of the time, and that means against Dimitrov’s slice he’s completely safe. If we eliminate danger on one wing entirely, then it’s forehands and serves. Zverev’s serve has double fault issues, and his location is poor, but he has a ton of power and returning it is easier said than done. Dimitrov has a huge edge on the forehand here, and he’s using that remarkably well this week.
It’s hard to watch Zverev play and think he’s going to beat Dimitrov. Him and Tiafoe played a solid match, and Tiafoe is a great player, but it wasn’t high quality stuff. The rallies seemed slow, both players seemed to be concentrating (and unfortunately not concentrating) on technique and on hitting the court. The wind and slower conditions just made the game seem slow, and I think the pace ended up frustrating Tiafoe into errors. Dimitrov has the ability to infuse pace off both wings and he’s been doing so this week. It’s the sort of match that I think Zverev is at risk of becoming frozen in. If Dimitrov can get the first set, I think he can win. Grigor has proven to be a dangerous frontrunner this week, and Zverev can get a little deer-in-the-headlights if he’s behind in the scoreline or if his serve isn’t working. I do think Zverev has been a bit more aggressive since his return from injury, so this should be pretty even in my eyes. In classic Dimitrov prankster style though, he has me thinking he’s going to win. Dimitrov in 4-5.

WTA Singles

Swiatek vs Tsurenko :

Ok Iga. I see that you are reading these. After predicting that Wang’s power and offense would get her 6 games, Swiatek chose to deny her a single game. I don’t think I’ve seen this type of blowout tennis ever. 0 games, to someone who beat a solid mid-tier tour player in Peterson. It makes my job easy here, because who can possible beat Swiatek? Rybakina is out of the tournament, everyone else is having to work extremely hard to win their matches, and Swiatek is going to be completely fresh for the quarterfinals. She has a tricky opponent here, because Tsurenko has beaten Krejcikova and Andreescu, but what does it matter? We are left wondering how many games Tsurenko can win, and if we have time to make a sammich and still make it back in time to catch the first set.
Tsurenko is very solid, and moves the ball well. Picture an Alize Cornet with a little more power and a bit less physicality. She’ll be a good opponent for Swiatek because there’ll be fewer unforced errors than Wang made, but it feels like Swiatek is not going to lose to her own errors and Tsurenko can’t serve well enough to hold onto any leads she may get. Swiatek in 2, with Tsurenko winning 4-5 games.

Sorribes Tormo vs Haddad Maia :

Puzzling line on this one as Sorribes Tormo is at just +120 for the match. I expected something more like +160. SST has been given a walkover after Rybakina withdrew with an illness. Haddad Maia had to play an extra match and it was a war with Alexandrova that she barely won, but I think she’s more well equipped to score in this matchup. Tormo has every shot in the book, and will extend rallies, but her serve isn’t as strong as Haddad Maia’s, and she doesn’t really hit the ball hard enough to get through the court. I’m guessing I don’t see something here, as SST has won the last few matches between the pair, and they’re ranked 120 spots apart so there’s a matchup issue I’m not seeing. Very hesitant to go with my gut on this one, but Haddad Maia has the defensive ability to hang even with Sorribes Tormo, and I think her forehand will give her the ability to create as the match drags on. Haddad Maia in 3.

Schmiedlova vs Gauff :

There have been a lot of matches this week where things were decided early. Both players seem very willing to engage in extended baseline rallies in the early going, but as one player proves slightly more resilient, their opponents have slowly deviated into trying to generate offense on more and more shots. This might be a decent plan B on hardcourt, but it’s near impossible on clay. If you could just smoke the ball and create angles and hit through the court, you’d be doing it as plan A, and you’d be a top 5 player. As it happened today, Kayla Day turned towards forcing things a bit. Schmiedlova was very steady to start the match and she hits a bit bigger than Day, so it wasn’t the worst choice, but it resulted in the scoreline getting out of hand quickly. In the second, Day made some progress and broke back a few times, but she couldn’t get ahead in rallies and that makes holding serve in the WTA very difficult because almost everyone on tour is tremendous returner.
Gauff had a ridiculously tough test in round one. Mirra Andreeva is so technically sound at such a young age. She really was slightly better in the first set because of it. Gauff made a few neutral ball errors that Andreeva just didn’t. It was clear though that Gauff was the bigger hitter. After winning the first in a thrilling tiebreak, Gauff was a bit looser. Having the pressure of the lead gone can be tough, but it also lets you swing freer. It became clear that Andreeva couldn’t hit through Gauff, and the match became a lopsided affair. This is the big hallmark of Gauff’s game, improving as the match goes on. Her training is great to be so strong physically, and her backhand, when she lets it fly, is a laser. If you let the ball get above her elbow height, she’s likely to just hit a clean winner. This next match is tricky because it’ll take a long time, but Gauff should be slightly stronger again. Schmiedlova has been playing solid tennis but she’s been the bigger hitter in most of the matches, and here it’s even. Expecting Gauff to win in two close sets.

Pera vs Jabeur :

This is a career changing run from Bernarda Pera. The clay ELO is proving accurate here, as she was able to outlast Elisabetta Cocciaretto in a wildly thrilling match. In the end, she was just a little more able to win short points, and her forehand cross is proving to be a big weapon when she’s on her game. It’s a big ask for her to beat Jabeur with that shot, especially since Ons has just gotten some invaluable training against another lefty. Olga Danilovic managed to push things to a third, but the problem with winning behind a big offense on clay becomes clear in a third. Jabeur has a ton of power and experience, and she’s fairing well this week. I do think that if Danilovic can win a set, Pera should be able to, but thus far Pera has been the bigger hitter in her matches and I’m curious to see how she trades power with Jabeur. She’ll have a bit of confidence at least, since she won their previous hardcourt meeting (too many seasons ago to be completely relevant) in straight sets. I just think Jabeur will be able to rush Pera and it will make all the difference. Jabeur in 2.

One of the most famous of ancient legendary figures among Amazigh is Dihya, called the Kahina (scombre, priestess), a label indicated to have started with the Arabs, against whom she led her army. However, the name "Kahina" most likely derived from the ancient Jewish priestly class (KHN, found in names like Cohen, Khan, etc.). Unlike most women in medieval history, she achieved greatness through her own efforts. A self-made woman, her power was not due to a husband, a lover, or a transmission.
According to some accounts, including that of the renowned author and early historian, Ibn Khaldun, Dihya was a Jewess. However, this is unproven and disputed among followers, yet even Kahina's label seems to give credence to this particular story. Moreover, it is traditionally accepted among the Imazighen themselves that she was Jewish, including in the Aures region, from which she hailed, according to Ibn Khaldun's account. Some tales about the female warrior tell that her people were relative newcomers; others state that they were descendants of Jews, who had fled to the region to escape the Romans during the Cyrene massacres of the second century.
Dihya's career began when she took charge of the Amazigh army after Koceila, which had fought and been victorious over the invading Muslim army led by Okba. According to several stories, Dehia may have succeeded Koceila at a very advanced age. When she was still young, she had freed her people from a cruel and tyrannical local chief, whom she agreed to marry, then murdered on their wedding night. Her life of love after this particular event is not known other than she gave birth to three sons, each probably fathered by different men.
Ibn Khaldun states that she possessed the gift of prophecy and "never failed" to correctly foresee the future. Because of her gift, probably a result of her intelligence and persuasive manner, she became queen of her tribe, and later, of all the Imazighen of the region.
Dihya went well to the fiercest adversary of the invading Arab-men armies, but in the end, realizing that her people were too weak to fight the invaders indefinitely, she decided that the only way to force them to leave was to give them no reason to want to stay. She had the countryside burnt and sacked to impoverish the area and take away its beauty, thereby making it undesirable. This decision didn't affect her highlanders much, but the rest of the population was angry. It began to lose its power.
Instead of discouraging the Arab armies, her desperate decision hastened their defeat. According to some accounts, she died fighting the invaders, sword at the ready, the death of a warrior (other accounts indicate that she committed suicide rather than be taken by the enemy). This was the ANNOUNCEMENT around 693, when she was, according to ancient accounts quoted by Ibn Khaldun, "127 years old from." This was probably not meant literally. The great age was often depicted with exaggerated numbers, as is also found in the Torah (old testament to Christians). Legend also has it that she was beautiful and passionate at the end

This is all very hard for me to type so I apologize if it seems all over the place. My thoughts are all over the place.
Some background: My uncle is in his 60's and is almost 500lb's. Outside of his weight he would not be a small man, he's 6'6". He is also on the spectrum, to what extent I don't know because he grew up incredibly poor and my mom's family was ignorant into thinking it wasn't worth looking further into. To give you an idea of his mental age I'd say he's somewhere between a 6 year old and a 20 year old. He can't read or write, but my uncle has been a sous chef at multiple kitchens, transported pounds of mary-anna across states, played pool competitively, and so much more. He used to never let his disability get in his way. They thought my grandmother, who had been sick the entirety of her children and grandchildren's lives would take care of him forever. No one accounted for her dying. She passed 10 years ago and since then my uncle has been on and off spiraling.
Prior to his excessive weight gain he had a caregiver, someone to take care of his bills, food, clothes, etc. My aunt, who out of all the kids was able to achieve a little more than average, had gotten him into a therapy bootcamp that seemed to alter my uncle's whole quality of life. He became obsessed with fitness and eating well and positive thinking. With his caregiver by his side he was excelling and making plans to use disability money to travel and visit his family, who are more important than anything else to him. But then his therapy sessions started dredging up memories he had buried deep away. He became depressed and began disregarding his health and eating to the point where his weight had triggered diabetes. The doctors had to remove a toe. I wish I could say that was enough for him to stop, but of course it wasn't. Over the next few years his weight would fluctuate, his mental health worsening and so his physical followed. No amount of phone calls from family or having two of his sisters close by helped. So he kept eating...
Long story short, because the more I type this the harder it is for me to bear, I'm sorry, he is now in a treatment center and at the point where he has lost all mobility. He let his diabetes consume both of his feet, he no longer has toes and he's so heavy he blew his knees out attempting to walk. He is about to get 8 stints put in his heart in an effort to save his life, but the doctors are giving him a 50/50 chance to live. If he cannot be approved for the surgery then he will be put on blood thinners and have a low quality of life until he ultimately meets his demise.
The reason I chose to bring all of this to reddit is because I'm absolutely fucking terrified. I'm terrified of calling him and having to say goodbye. I feel tremendously guilty and responsible for his suffering. I have been a martyr for suffering my whole life. I am a product of abuse (sexual, physical and verbal) and used to resort to self harm for self soothing and flagellation. To clarify, I have no thoughts of harming others or myself at the moment, however I am afraid my guilt and sadness over my uncles situation may push me to an episode of sorts. I know that if I don't say anything to him it will hurt me more than any amount of mental/emotional torture I've been currently going through. I know it won't cost me anything but kindness to call him, and yet I can't. As much as I want to, I'm stuck. My partner offered to be next to me while I called and my twin sister offered to as well, but I can't. I feel like a stubborn child. It's irrational and frustrating.
Help?

My girlfriend of 12 years (lesbian couple) died in front of me for 6 minutes after a routine operation. No hospital staff was around and I didn't know what to do. She coded twice before they rushed her back into surgery. I was in disbelief and shock.
She woke up the next day and I still was in disbelief that it happened. I called her son who drove in from another state. I don't remember everything from this period.
About 4 or 5 days later she sent a man over to the house to tell me that I had to move out. Again, I was in complete disbelief. We were best friends, partners for life. There was no way she would say that - no possibly at all. But he came back the following day with an eviction notice. I tried to see her in the hospital but I was now on a 'do not allow to visit' list. She was SO ill and wouldn't see or talk to me. I could not fathom such a situation in my wildest dreams. She was my everything. The love of my life.
And "our" friends now became her protection from me. No one would tell me what was going on or relay messages. I was her life partner and suddenly was locked out of her life. Completely alone. She was gravely sick and everyone could help her but me, her partner of 12 years. So I cried and cried and cried and texted pleas of why? Which was met with stone silence.
After being released from the hospital, she stayed with her friends rather than come home. I brought her fresh clothes and toiletries but wasn't allowed to go inside to see her. She was less than a mile from our house and everyone but me you see her. It was the worst thing anyone has ever done to me.
And only when I had moved all of my possessions out of the house and I was gone did she come home.
I can't look back and not cry about what transpired. I am not a bad person. I know she was on heavy medication and probably felt helpless. I was drowning in the surreal, awful fog that descended upon my everything overnight.
There's so much more but how can I explain everything about this terrible horrible last year. I'm in counseling now but sometimes, like today, where I just want her back, want "us" back. But I don't see how that could ever happen. All the friends we shared were so hateful to me. She still socializes with them, hosted a party at our house for them, took a vacation with them. And these people were awful to me.
But I still don't think I can live without her. I moved across the country because it hurt so much to have her so near but not share a life together. We were going to grow old together, enjoy her retirement together but suddenly everything changed overnight.
I'm in therapy and am coping so much better than I was for the first 10 months. 10 months apart. So unreal. In November I tried to commit suicide and was hospitalized for a month. This year was beyond awful. I was in shock that she died next to me. That haunts me. What's worse though is that she was saved and lives yet she may as well have died, as our relationship ended right then.
I'm sorry I'm writing to the internet about this, but it's one of those days when , in an instant, all of the terrible flooded back. And I know that I've lost the love of my life and things won't ever be the same. And I'm 60 all alone. And I don't know anyone here and have found that being old is very lonely when you've known such a deep love and lost it.
And here comes Pride. I'll see couples walking together and holding hands, older couples who are devoted and committed to each other. That makes my loss like a knife to my heart. It's hard to bear.
Lastly, I know I wasn't the perfect partner. But I was true and kind and loved her beyond what she'll ever know. And I miss her so much. So much.
Thank you advice for letting me post this because I have no friends and am still so so sad.

A man will not want an independent woman that has lived her life to the fullest, that when she was 20ish, she had a train of dicks inside of her, NO, a man that want to spend his life with you will have standards and boundaries, and it may came as a shock to you ladies but we man value purity, all the man that you see and have fun with, are men that don't want to be with you forever, and only want to have someone to fool around with. The big difference it's that for a woman a family life become something that she crave for when she's older, because that's in her genetic code, as much as some people will like to scream and trow hands that everyone can become a woman, that it's NOT TRUE, because that just simple biology, and those woman reach an age where man will no longer want them, because a man will reach his prime in his 30, a woman in her 20's ,so when you in your 20 are going to have fun and give your body to all the men, when you had your fun and you finally discovered yourself, then when you will want a high value man, he will not want you no more. CHOOSE CAREFULLY WHAT TYPE OF LIFE YOU WANT IN YOUR 20'S, THAT LIFE WILL FOLLOW YOU FOREVER .

Hello people of Reddit, I need some help.
This is my first time here personally, but I have been listening to reddit stories for almost 2 years whether on Youtube, Insta, or any other platform. I made this account specifically because of this and I despratly need others' opinions as it has been eating at me for the past day.
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*TW for talk of blood, illnesses, and implied pedophilia*
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Some backstory first:
I am a high school student (so think in the age range of 15-18). I volunteer at a hospital every weekend: helping patients and nurses and showing visitors to their friends and loved ones. It can sometimes be a very sad job as I have met parents who children were dying, mentally ill patients who were being schedualed to be tranfered into mental hospitals, and watching bloody patients come out of ambulances.
One highlight of my job, however, is an older coworker who was being paid at the hospital, let's call him "G". G was a graduating college student (think in his mid 20s) who had been working at the hospital for a few years now. We worked together at the front of the hospital to greet and direct visitors. He was great, we had a lot of fun conversations, joked around, and he helped me become more confident when speaking with others. We became really good friends and I looked forward to seeing him every weekend for a few hours before I went to another part of the hospital to help out there.
Now to the actual story:
About 6 months into me volunteering around the hospital, G had told me he was quitting to find another higher paying job closer to his home. Of course, I was happy for him and supported him, wanting my now close friend to seceed. We exchanged numbers on his last day of the job and I never saw him again after that. I currently still work at hospital, but now with new people who I'm usually in charge of teaching because G is gone.
At first, we would talk once a week, mainly on my break at the hospital, as I had a small phase of hating the changes and wanting things to go back to normal. Of course, I soon got over that and stopping starting conversation a lot less as I had grown more busy with my daily life and wanted him to focus on his new job. He started texting me once or twice through the week, almost always texting first with a "hey" or "whats up". At first, I didn't think much of it until he started texting me even more. Of course I didn't mind, he was a good friend of mine and it seemed like he really cared about our friendship. The only problem is that he had and still currently has a girlfriend of three+ years (I'll call her "F"). I had known about G and F's relationship since G and I had started working together in the hospital. He talked about her pretty often.
I began to feel was possibly over stepping unknown boundries by talking with G too much. So, I started pushing back a bit to try and subtly force those boundries and respect their relationship, telling him things like "you've been talking to me a lot lol" and "Go check on your girlfriend, I'm sure she misses you rn". Keep in mind, this is all over text messages.
For a bit of context, I wasn't sure if F knew I was talking to G. over the phone, he never really mentioned her until I brought her up and asked about her.
Flash forward a few weeks until yesterday. Earlier in the day (around noon), G had texted me mention he was going out to celebrate his Dad's birthday. I tell him to have fun and go on with my day. later, I was going to a family event, both parents and my siblings in the car and we're driving to this event an hour away from our home.
I get a text from G around 6:30pm:
G: Yeah I'm drunk
Me [not completely sure if he's being serious or not]: Pfttt what
G: I'm drunk we went to a drinking festival [for his dad's birthday, he meant]
Me [laughing about it lightly to my family as I'm texting]: Lol you better not be driving home
G: I'm not
Me: okay good lol stay safe :>
G: I will don't worry
Me: Okayyy is you gf with you???
G: Yeah well she was with me but she went home, she was with us all day
Me [confused]: Oop- how come? Why did she leave early?
G: She was tired and it was getting late and she was drinking
Me in my head: huh........
Me on text [wanting to end the conversation]: Ooo well it sounds like you guys are having fun :)
G: It was
I was talking about it with my parents (I basically tell them everything) and they felt kind of off about it all. Like I had stated above, I am a minor, this dude is not. It especially didn't sit well with my dad who had implied that MANY older men had crushes on minors. Of course, because G is my friend, I defended him, but that comment had stuck with me and I'm now over thinking things.
To continue the story, after the conversation I had put down my phone for the event. When I got home around 9:30pm, I realized he had texted me again. I'll spare the finer details, but we had asked about each others' events, what we were both doing the next day, then our birthday came up (we have the same birthday). He asked how old I was turning. I got a weird vibe from that, but I told him and said "why do you ask?". His response was "Just asking", which I'm getting weird vibes from as I'm going through the texts again...
After that we spoke about things we want to do for our birthday, and then he asked if I wanted to hang out at some point.
For some more context, my parents are extreme planners, we practically already had the rest of the year planned out on your giant family callender. This mean I'm of course WAY to busy to make a 30 minute drive to his area so we can hang out for a few hours.
I told him this and our conversation was pretty normal after that.
It was around around 10pm when I really just wanted to end the conversation and told him: "Text your gf, make sure she's doing okay, I gtg to bed :P"
He didnt respond after that.
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Knowing all of this information, what do you think is going on here? Is G just overly confortable with me??? Or was my dad right about something?? I don't freaking know and I need help. I not going to try and deny it, I'm not muture enough for these kinds of things. I just need help to figure out if I should cut him off or if I'm over reacting. All opinions are valid and will be looked over by me.
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Thank you <3