So, I just found out yesterday the person I am in love with is getting engaged, I was kinda of shock but happy for him so I texted him to congratulate him and he said "thank you, she is pregnant.. so you know. (her family is asian) and then I was double shocked. We speak a little bit and then I asked him if I can follow him on ig and he said yes, but he didn't follow me back and I would like to have others people opinion in that. To give a little bit of context.. we were dating (I think) in 2021 and 2022 were on and off the last time we saw each other was October 2022 and then I felt something were off and we never spoke again ( in his message he also said he wanted to talk about something but the last time we saw each other we never spoke again so he leave it like that), our issue was he had commitments issue (apparently with me or a that time). So, I think I will be able to close that chapter when we speak in person, have that closure because we never did. He has a special space in my heart and I wish him all the best, I'm genuinely happy for him but still I can't move (and yes I know, if there were a possibility now is done and overdone) please don't tell me that all is happening is the closure I need, emotions are weird and different and I won't change his mind, I just have a lot of questions unanswered. Should I text him so we can meet in person and iust talk? What are your opinions? I'm afraid of rejection but he answered every time I texted him so I don't know.

So, I just found out yesterday the person I am in love with is getting engaged, I was kinda of shock but happy for him so I texted him to congratulate him and he said “thank you, she is pregnant.. so you know..” (her family is asian) and then I was double shocked. We speak a little bit and then I asked him if I can follow him on ig and he said yes, but he didn’t follow me back and I would like to have others people opinion in that.
To give a little bit of context.. we were dating (I think) in 2021 and 2022 were on and off the last time we saw each other was October 2022 and then I felt something were off and we never spoke again ( in his message he also said he wanted to talk about something but the last time we saw each other we never spoke again so he leave it like that), our issue was he had commitments issue (apparently with me or a that time).
So, I think I will be able to close that chapter when we speak in person, have that closure because we never did. He has a special space in my heart and I wish him all the best, I’m genuinely happy for him but still I can’t move ( and yes I know, if there were a possibility now is done and overdone) please don’t tell me that all is happening is the closure I need, emotions are weird and different and I won’t change his mind, I just have a lot of questions unanswered.
Should I text him so we can meet in person and just talk? What are your opinions? I’m afraid of rejection but he answered every time I texted him so I don’t know.

loveproblems

Nasa point ako ngayon na I don’t know what to do with my life. Magkahalong confusion and takot yung nararamdaman ko. I’m turning 24 this year and I feel like wala pa akong naaachieve sa buhay. I graduated 2022, still not taking the boards because I felt like I’m not yet ready and I’m scared af na bumagsak but lately I realized na it’s really because ayokong tanggapin na after boards I’m gonna be stuck forever sa trabahong hindi ko naman ginusto at alam kong never ko gugustuhin. (Yes hindi ko gusto yung program ko and tinapos ko na lang siya because nanghihinayang ako sa pagod and effort like yung last year ko I’m super drained to the point na parang let’s just get this over with.) So ayun, I don’t wanna spend my whole life doing something na hindi ko naeenjoy kasi it’s gonna be exhausting and parang mapipilitan na lang ako to do it because well, I need the money to survive. Ngayon I’m working at a bpo company. Salary is not bad, the job is super easy, and okay naman yung environment, but let’s be real here I did not work my ass off sa uni for years just to end up here. I mean no offense, but I think I can do better than this. Palapit na ng palapit yung boards and patindi na rin ng patindi yung anxiety ko. I keep on asking myself if I should take the exam and apply for a job na in-line sa napili kong program or just ditch it na lang and just explore other options/industries. Ang kinakatakot ko lang is baka mahirapan ako sa paghahanap ng job kapag wala siyang kinalaman sa tinapos ko. And nasasayangan talaga ako, but at the same time gusto ko maging masaya. Financial stability and happiness lang naman talaga yung gusto ko, dagdag na lang yung makapagmove sa ibang bansa eventually but yeah.

Hi folks, hope your week is off to a bright start! I come to seek advice and thoughts on a small personal collection.
My flashlight story starts over a decade ago (wow, it's been that long?) when my algebra teacher whipped out a Fenix PD30 during a power outage at school. He told us about how it had traveled the world with him, from the dark caves of Thailand, to mountain peaks, now it was lighting our little room. Us students were kind of surprised that anyone would just carry around a dedicated flashlight since smartphones were becoming popular, but his simple statement of "you never know when you could use a little more light" really stuck with me and I immediately saved up for Fenix's latest and greatest PD32 Original, which is no longer made. I carried it for four beloved years, also around the world, before I eventually lost it ironically somewhere in the hills behind my house. I never saw it again.
Fast forward an entire decade, and I've always missed that light. It was supremely built, brighter than anything else I had, and easy to carry in the pocket. I felt like I had the sun in my hand at night. Since then, it seems like flashlight technology has grown in every way -- from build quality to emitters, drivers, batteries, and more! I'm looking to return to the scene with a few lights in the following categories: EDC, lab, and light outdoors. I've done some research and checked the various lists on the sub, here's what I've come up with:

• EDC: Zebralight SC64c LE. This was pretty easy for me -- it seems like y'all can't get enough of these. The form factor seems strange to me, but I'll trust that it's the "perfect EDC light" until I can get one in hand and feel it out. I've already gone ahead and ordered that one, with the possibility of picking up an SC64c Hi when that launches later this year!
  • In terms of alternatives, I considered a D4V2 or some kind of Hank light, but I'm kind of preferential to single-emitter flashlights for some reason, and the stories of Hank lights igniting pockets (due to user-error ostensibly) frightens me a bit; I also don't think I have much use for a pocket-sized 4000 lumen beast!
• Lab: Some kind of penlight, though undecided. For my office/lab use, a penlight would be perfect for clipping to a breast pocket or labcoat pocket. Looking for something with more of an emphasis on CRI and tint rather than sun-like output. Here are the options I'm considering:
  • Reylight Pineapple Mini Penlight. This light is gorgeous and has a nice Nichia 519A emitter. I heard the tailswitch on the Pineapple Mini isn't everyone's favourite, which I would be more okay with if it wasn't for the price. I think the price is the major setback for me -- somehow spending $70-80 on a flashlight feels totally normal until it's a penlight.
  • Nitecore MT06D. A very utilitarian and professional looking penlight for those in the EMS space. As I do plan on going into a medical field, this one gets bonus points for being designed appropriately for that while keeping the Nichia 219B and a low cost of just $25-$30 depending on where you look.
  • "BLF-348". This one's in quotes because I think the original run finished and this is a remake or continuation? I actually had a few of these in the original Nichia 219B emitter and loved the light it put out, but I found it to be a little unreliable. I think a year or two into owning mine, they tended to become flaky or cease to function altogether -- not sure if anyone else experienced this? Totally possible I bought knockoffs since they were only like $5 or $8 back then, but I *think* I bought them from the original run.
• Light outdoors:
  • Fenix PD32 V2.0. What can I say, it's the light that began it all for me. The original light I had is one of my few lost possessions that I regularly miss and wish I still had. It seems like they've gone and simplified this light to very basic modes and operations, which appeals to me. I know that it lacks on-board charging and some of the fancy features that other lights have these days (those features seem to have been upsold to the PD35 and PD36?) but I like that there are less points-of-ingress and that it is a simple light. My goal for this category is to have a straightforward reliable light for outdoor use such as night hikes -- not super concerned about CRI as much as I am about decent throw (throw because I want to see what's ahead and point things out, not just shine it straight down at my feet). I'm particularly interested in how throwy this light is for it's size -- seems to out-throw most lights in its pocketable class. At $65, it's not the cheapest, but it's also fairly reasonable. I think I paid slightly more for mine back in 2013 or whenever it originally came out! This one definitely gets bonus points for nostalgia and because I am a big fan of Fenix's quality.
    • In terms of alternatives, I considered some of the other Fenix PD lights, but they mostly seem unnecessarily complicated and inefficient to me. I was plenty happy with the original 340 or so lumens of my original PD32, so I don't think I need 2800 lumens like the PD36R Pro outputs. I also considered the Acebeam E35 GEN II, Skillhunt M200 V3, and Wurkkos FC11, which have features like onboard charging, higher CRI, battery-bank capability, but I don't really need any of those features for this category of light. I don't know anything about their relative build qualities, but I remember my Fenix was rock-solid, and I like the fact that it's straight black. Not gonna lie, Fenix does get a big nostalgia/sentimental points boost in my book, so I'll probably pick up that PD32 V2...

So there it is! I'm happy to hear any thoughts y'all have -- and if you have other recommendations, please feel free to share and let me know why you think I should give it a look. Looking forwards to y'all's thoughts, and can't wait to stay strapped with a light again!

Hi guys, so after a couple weeks of getting a new modlist together, I was finally able to test it out to see how it was working. So far I came across several issues, and I'd like some help to see what mods may be causing them:
- After my character dies in game, XPMSE no longer loads in MCM, and after that, I can't enter other MCM menus. The same thing happens with Nether Follower Framework.
- iEquip, five minutes after starting my new save, stopped responding to my hotkeys. The UI doesn't show up either. I think it also started after my character died in game.
- I cannot harvest Nirnroot.
- Cannot buy horse, bribe guard to enter Riften, or a carriage ride.
- There are a few silent vanilla guard lines (aka comments about Stormcloak rebels are not voiced)
You can find my modlist below. Thanks in advance for your help.
Skyrim.esm
Update.esm
Dawnguard.esm
HearthFires.esm
Dragonborn.esm
ccasvsse001-almsivi.esm
ccbgssse001-fish.esm
ccbgssse002-exoticarrows.esl
ccbgssse003-zombies.esl
ccbgssse004-ruinsedge.esl
ccbgssse005-goldbrand.esl
ccbgssse006-stendarshammer.esl
ccbgssse007-chrysamere.esl
ccbgssse010-petdwarvenarmoredmudcrab.esl
ccbgssse011-hrsarmrelvn.esl
ccbgssse012-hrsarmrstl.esl
ccbgssse014-spellpack01.esl
ccbgssse019-staffofsheogorath.esl
ccbgssse020-graycowl.esl
ccbgssse021-lordsmail.esl
ccmtysse001-knightsofthenine.esl
ccqdrsse001-survivalmode.esl
cctwbsse001-puzzledungeon.esm
cceejsse001-hstead.esm
ccqdrsse002-firewood.esl
ccbgssse018-shadowrend.esl
ccbgssse035-petnhound.esl
ccfsvsse001-backpacks.esl
cceejsse002-tower.esl
ccedhsse001-norjewel.esl
ccvsvsse002-pets.esl
ccbgssse037-curios.esl
ccbgssse034-mntuni.esl
ccbgssse045-hasedoki.esl
ccbgssse008-wraithguard.esl
ccbgssse036-petbwolf.esl
ccffbsse001-imperialdragon.esl
ccmtysse002-ve.esl
ccbgssse043-crosselv.esl
ccvsvsse001-winter.esl
cceejsse003-hollow.esl
ccbgssse016-umbra.esm
ccbgssse031-advcyrus.esm
ccbgssse038-bowofshadows.esl
ccbgssse040-advobgobs.esl
ccbgssse050-ba_daedric.esl
ccbgssse052-ba_iron.esl
ccbgssse054-ba_orcish.esl
ccbgssse058-ba_steel.esl
ccbgssse059-ba_dragonplate.esl
ccbgssse061-ba_dwarven.esl
ccpewsse002-armsofchaos.esl
ccbgssse041-netchleather.esl
ccedhsse002-splkntset.esl
ccbgssse064-ba_elven.esl
ccbgssse063-ba_ebony.esl
ccbgssse062-ba_dwarvenmail.esl
ccbgssse060-ba_dragonscale.esl
ccbgssse056-ba_silver.esl
ccbgssse055-ba_orcishscaled.esl
ccbgssse053-ba_leather.esl
ccbgssse051-ba_daedricmail.esl
ccbgssse057-ba_stalhrim.esl
ccbgssse066-staves.esl
ccbgssse067-daedinv.esm
ccbgssse068-bloodfall.esl
ccbgssse069-contest.esl
ccvsvsse003-necroarts.esl
ccvsvsse004-beafarmer.esl
ccbgssse025-advdsgs.esm
ccffbsse002-crossbowpack.esl
ccbgssse013-dawnfang.esl
ccrmssse001-necrohouse.esl
cceejsse004-hall.esl
cceejsse005-cave.esm
cckrtsse001_altar.esl
cccbhsse001-gaunt.esl
ccafdsse001-dwesanctuary.esm
Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp
RSkyrimChildren.esm
Landscape and Water Fixes.esp
MajesticMountains_Landscape.esm
UHDAP - en0.esp
UHDAP - en1.esp
UHDAP - en2.esp
UHDAP - en3.esp
UHDAP - en4.esp
UHDAP - MusicHQ.esp
Cathedral - 3D Mountain Flowers.esp
BetterDynamicAsh-DisableRefs.esm
Partitioned snow Meshes.esl
AHZmoreHUDInventory.esl
Expressive Facegen Morphs.esl
ClefJ's Morthal.esp
Lightened Skyrim - merged.esp
MajesticMountains_Moss.esp
Skyrim Extended Cut - Saints and Seducers.esp
Water for ENB.esm
FlowerGirls SE.esm
FlowerGirls SE Threesome Fix.esl
NoBrokenWhiterunTower.esp
JSwordsD.esm
Vigilant.esm
Vigilant Bodyslide.esl
Glenmoril.esm
1NDArmor.esl
1NGarmor.esl
1Dwemer.esl
1FalconerArmor.esl
Unslaad.esm
Unslaad Bodyslide.esl
Perfect Terrain LOD.esm
Resources - The Great Cities.esp
DynDOLOD.esm
SkyUI_SE.esp
Hearthfires Houses Building Fix.esp
SkyrimImprovedPuddles-DG-HF-DB.esp
Skyrim Landscape and Water Fixes - Light Sources.esp
Audio Overhaul Skyrim.esp
Immersive Sounds - Compendium.esp
TrueStormsSE.esp
WARZONES - SSE - Civil Unrest.esp
Obsidian Weathers.esp
SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp
AOS_ISC_Integration.esp
Personalized Music - No Vanilla Music v 6.0.esp
QuestsAreInSkyrimUSSEP.esp
Horse_armor_no_longer_disappears.esp
MCMHelper.esp
fastenedshieldfix.esp
nwsFollowerFramework.esp
SkyHUD.esp
Customizable Camera.esp
TrueDirectionalMovement.esp
S3DRocks.esp
EnhancedLightsandFX.esp
ELFX Shadows.esp
Relationship Dialogue Overhaul.esp
RDO Updated.esp
Guard Dialogue Overhaul.esp
Weapons Armor Clothing & Clutter Fixes.esp
Castle Volkihar Rebuilt.esp
ELFX Fixes.esp
The Great City of Winterhold v4.esp
OCW_Obscure's_CollegeofWinterhold.esp
Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods.esp
Folkvangr - Grass and Landscape Overhaul.esp
Book Covers Skyrim.esp
KrittaKittyHorsesForSSE.esp
SC_HorseReplacer.esp
SC Horses - Wild Horses CC Patch.esp
The Great Town of Ivarstead.esp
HappyLittleTrees.esp
The Great Town of Shor's Stone.esp
The Great City of Falkreath.esp
Helgen Reborn.esp
HearthfireMultiKid.esp
The Great Village of Kynesgrove.esp
The Great Village of Old Hroldan.esp
The Great City of Solitude.esp
Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim.esp
OCW_ELFX_FEPatch.esp
The Great City of Dawnstar.esp
TGC Winterhold - ELFX Patch.esp
Weapons and Armor Merged.esp
Embers XD.esp
The Great Village of Mixwater Mill.esp
ClefJs Karthwasten.esp
Man Those Borders!.esp
Guards_Armor_Replacer.esp
WACCF_Armor and Clothing Extension.esp
Skyrim Fixes Collection.esp
Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - LFfGM.esp
NewArmoury.esp
AnimatedArmoryVigilantPatchESM.esp
dD-No Spinning Death Animation.esp
HPP - Vaermina's Torpor.esp
No Edge Glow - Magic and Transformations.esp
RaceMenu.esp
RaceMenuPlugin.esp
RDO - USSEP Patch.esp
Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim.esp
Realistic Humanoid Movement Speed SSE.esp
shalidor's maze fixes.esp
Grass FPS Booster.esp
Insignificant Object Remover.esp
icepenguinworldmapclassic.esp
True Storms - Obsidian Weathers - Patch .esp
ELFX Shadows - USSEP patch.esp
dD - Enhanced Blood Main.esp
AOS_EBT Patch.esp
TrueStormsSE_AOS.esp
JS Barenziah SE - Johnskyrim.esp
JS Instruments of Skyrim SE - Uniques.esp
JS Knapsacks SE.esp
JS Emissive Eyes SE - Johnskyrim.esp
RUSTIC SOULGEMS - Unsorted.esp
Rudy Nordic Pottery SSE.esp
GDOS - Splendid Mechanized Dwemer Door.esp
iEquip.esp
aMidianBorn_Book of Silence.esp
Austio Weapons.esp
Austio_Weapons_AA_Patch.esp
Ice Mage Statue.esp
Generic Grass Limiter.esp
HD Quill of Germination - Dark.esp
HD Stone Quarry and Clay Deposits SE.esp
CC'sEnhancedOreVeinsSSE-HearthfirePatch.esp
Embers XD - Patch - ClefJs Karthwasten.esp
DustEffectsSSE.esp
FleshFX.esp
DeadlySpellImpacts.esp
Frost Meshes Patch.esp
SOSRaceMenu.esp
FNIS.esp
CBBE.esp
RaceMenuMorphsCBBE.esp
KS Hairdo's.esp
KSHairdosSMP.esp
Flower Girls NPC Overhaul.esp
XPMSE.esp
3BBB.esp
SOSPhysicsManager.esp
Schlongs of Skyrim - Light.esp
Backshields.esp
BSSE_EnneadShieldsPatch.esp
NB-Scars.esp
HearthfireMultiKid_LastName.esp
Stendarr Rising.esp
MajesticMountains.esp
AyleidLichCrownRestored.esp
TheChoiceIsYours.esp
Wintersun - Faiths of Skyrim.esp
Lit Road Signs.esp
Skyrim Remastered - Glaciers and Ice.esp
WARZONES - SSE - Civil Unrest MCM.esp
Serana Dialogue Edit.esp
ClefJ's Dragon Bridge.esp
Dawnguard - Tweaks and Enhancements.esp
Windhelm Docks Pathways SE.esp
JK's Riverwood.esp
ZIA_Complete Pack.esp
Riften Docks Overhaul.esp
The Great City of Rorikstead.esp
WhiterunDefenses.esp
ccbgssse067-daedinv - 1NDArmor patch by Xtudo.esp
SPID_Falconer_ForBanditsandBolgeirBearclaw.esp
ClefJ Morthal - ELFX.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - ELFX Patch.esp
Great Village of Old Hroldan - ELFX Patch.esp
NW_Sons_of_Skyrim.esp
DIS_Replacer.esp
DragonfallCastle.esp
SolitudeTempleFrescoes.esp
AHZBetterDGEntranceSE.esp
fortdawnguardimmersive.esp
Beards of Power - Sons of Skyrim.esp
FDIELnFXPatch.esp
DawnguardArsenal.esp
A Rose in the Snow.esp
Cloaks.esp
WindstadMine.esp
Dawnguard Sentries SE.esp
ArteFake.esp
Arcanum.esp
Particle Patch for ENB.esp
Embers XD - Fire Magick Add-On.esp
ECSS - Staff of Sheogorath Patch.esp
OCW Patches.esp
Dlizzio's Mesh Fixes.esp
WhiteRiverPriory.esp
The Great City of Falkreath - Helgen Reborn Patch.esp
Better Dynamic Ash.esp
Sky City.esp
Billyro's Weapons.esp
Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - ELFX Shadow.esp
Blubbos_Markarth_2022.esp
TGC Winterhold - OCW Patch.esp
TheOnlyCureQuestExpansion.esp
Knight of the North.esp
Environs - Whiterun Watchtower.esp
ECSS - Shadowrend Patch.esp
stendarrsbeaconenhancedRv4sse.esp
College Of Winterhold - Quest Expansion.esp
PaarthurnaxQuestExpansion.esp
DIS_Authentic_Legion.esp
Destroy the Dark Brotherhood - Enhanced.esp
Helgen Reborn - USSEP Patch.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - Landscape and Water Fixes Patch.esp
PAN_NPCs_Males2.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - RS Children Patch.esp
Knightofthorn.esp
Embers XD - Patch - ClefJ's Morthal.esp
Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - Tundra Homested.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - USSEP Patch.esp
ClefJ Morthal - Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods.esp
TGC Winterhold - COW Quest Expansion Patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - LAWF Patch.esp
Landscape For Grass mods - Helgen Reborn Patch.esp
Ancient Trees of Skyrim.esp
GDOS - Glorious Solitude Door - Rotation Fix.esp
VisualAnimatedEnchants.esp
Embers XD - Patch - Goldenhills Plantation.esp
Water for ENB - Patch - JKs Bannered Mare.esp
DIVERSE SKYRIM.esp
Caught Red Handed - Quest Expansion.esp
The Whispering Door - Quest Expansion.esp
OCW_WACCF_FEPatch.esp
PrvtIRoyalArmory.esp
Great Village of Old Hroldan - Landscape and Water Fixes Patch.esp
Great Village of Old Hroldan - Embers XD [XD ESP] Patch.esp
Embers XD - Patch - ELFX.esp
1FalconerArmor.esp
Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - SDE Patch.esp
DeadlySpellImpacts Transparency Fix.esp
Summermyst - WACCF Patch.esp
WACCF_Survival Mode_Patch.esp
Cloaks - USSEP Patch.esp
UltimateCombat.esp
DSerArcheryGameplayOverhaul.esp
UltimateDragons.esp
Ultimate Dodge Mod.esp
Andromeda - Unique Standing Stones of Skyrim.esp
Lafreakshows VAE Summermyst Patch.esp
Summermyst Bugfixes for WACCF.esp
Wintersun - BCS Patch.esp
Wintersun - Gallows Hall.esp
Wintersun - GotT Lite Patch.esp
Wintersun - ZIA Patch.esp
QRVAE_ISC Patch.esp
QRVAE_Summermyst Patch.esp
QRVAE_ZIA Patch.esp
Vigilant Voiced.esp
RSChildren.esp
RealisticRSChildren.esp
RSC HR Patch.esp
Vigilant - Delayed Start.esp
AK- Namira for Good Guys.esp
COW_RS_Patch.esp
CRH_USSEP Patch.esp
ECSS - Ruin's Edge Patch.esp
HouseOfHorrorsQuestExpansion.esp
Search and Seizure - Quest Expansion.esp
SSExtendedOverridePatch.esp
The Whispering Door QE - USSEP Patch.esp
TimingIsEverything.esp
TCIY BCS Patch.esp
TCIY_Wintersun_Patch.esp
Arctic - Immersive Sounds Compendium Patch.esp
RS Children - WACCF Consistency Patch.esp
The Choice is Yours - WACCF Consistency Patch.esp
TrissArmorRetextured.esp
Triss Armor Retextured SE - WACCF Patch.esp
DiverseSkyimCivilWarFix.esp
JS Dragon Claws AE - Helgen Reborn.esp
HelgenRebornRSChildrenPatch.esp
NPC Merged.esp
VIGILANTGrowables.esp
Vigilant - Book Covers.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - Witch Hunter Social Outfit.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - Coldharbour Music.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - Stendarr statue replacer.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - Temple of Stendarr Music.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - M'que robes fix.esp
VIGILANT - My patches by Xtudo - Giant creatures fix.esp
Obsidian Weathers for Vigilant.esp
AnimatedArmouryGlenmorilPatch.esp
GLENMORILGrowables.esp
Glenmoril CBBE.esp
Perk-Glenmoril.esp
Glenmoril - Book Covers.esp
Glenmoril - Delayed Start.esp
OCW_AO_FEPatch.esp
OCW_MusicPatch_VanillaPlus.esp
OCW_QaiS_FEPatch.esp
OCW_BCS_FEPatch.esp
OCW_A-aNAoM_FEPatch.esp
OCW_HoD_FPSfix_Patch.esp
OCW_ACE_FEPatch.esp
Royal Armory - OCW CellSettings Patch.esp
ELFX Shadows - The Great City of Rorikstead patch.esp
ELFX Enhancer - The Great City of Rorikstead patch.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - Embers XD [XD ESP] Patch.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - Landscape and Water Fixes Patch.esp
Great Village of Mixwater Mill - USSEP Patch.esp
MM + The Cause Fix.esp
Great Village of Old Hroldan - USSEP Patch.esp
Great Town of Shor's Stone - ELFX Patch.esp
Great Town of Shor's Stone - Embers XD [XD ESP] Patch.esp
Great Town of Shor's Stone - RS Children Patch.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - 3D Wheat Patch.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - ELFX Patch.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - Embers XD [XD ESP] Patch.esp
Great Village of Mixwater Mill - ELFX Patch.esp
Great Village of Mixwater Mill - Immersion Patch.esp
Great Village of Mixwater Mill - RS Children Patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - Embers XD patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - Knights of Thorn Patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - Animated Armoury patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - CC Nchuanthumz patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - GAR patch.esp
Housecarls sons of skyrim SPID.esp
Ahzidal's Armor set - My version by Xtudo.esp
ORI - HarkonSword.esp
Aves Gauldur Blackblade.esp
PDragonbane_Replacer.esp
DIS_Armor_Fractions.esp
PAN_NPCs_Males.esp
NordWarUA's Race Armor Expansion.esp
1Dwemer.esp
USSEP - The Great City of Solitude Patch.esp
1NDArmor.esp
Mythic Dawn Armor - SPID.esp
KSA_vdk.esp
DCR_KingCrusaderMegaPack_SSE.esp
ResplendentArmor.esp
RegalPaladinArmor.esp
Crusher.esp
Spikey.esp
GothicMace.esp
ImperialWarhammer_by_Flarescale.esp
WH_Troll_Hammer.esp
FFMace.esp
Lazy Weapon Pack.esp
[full_inu] Lord Nicholas Armor.esp
FDIDGArsenalPatch.esp
Bijin Warmaidens.esp
PAN_NPCs_DG.esp
A Rose in the Snow - Dawnguard.esp
Dawnguard - TnE - Serana Necro Dialogue.esp
PAN_NPCs_DB.esp
A Rose in the Snow - Dragonborn.esp
A Rose in the Snow - Hearthfires.esp
Bijin Wives.esp
PAN_NPCs_DG Immersive Fort Dawnguard Patch.esp
Dawnguard Arsenal + Pandorable DG Patch.esp
BoP - SoS - Immersive Fort Dawnguard Patch.esp
BoP - SoS - Ace patch.esp
BoP - SoS - Guard Armor Replacer Patch.esp
BoP - SoS - NordwarUA Patch.esp
BoP - SoS - The Choice is Yours Patch.esp
BoP - SoS - SoS Patch.esp
Serana Re-Imagined.esp
Modpocalypse NPCs (v3) The Great Town of Shor's Stone.esp
Modpocalypse NPCs (v3) The Great Village of Kynesgrove.esp
Modpocalypse NPCs (v3) The Great Village of Old Hroldan.esp
Modpocalypse NPCs (v3) The Great Village of Mixwater Mill.esp
Modpocalypse NPCs (v3) The Great Town of Ivarstead.esp
Stendarr Rising - RDO patch.esp
Stendarr Rising - RDO Update Patch.esp
Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - ELFX Patch.esp
Cloaks - Dawnguard.esp
Cloaks_SMP_Patch.esp
IFDWACCFPatch.esp
Castle Volkihar Rebuilt - RDO Patch.esp
Stendarr Rising - ELFX Patch.esp
AHZBetterDGEntranceSE-ELFXPatch.esp
AK- Boethiah Alternate.esp
VigilantShadowfootPatch.esp
Great Town of Shor's Stone - USSEP Patch.esp
Great Village of Old Hroldan - CC - Fishing Patch.esp
Windstad Mine - USSEP Patch.esp
Unslaad - Delayed Start.esp
ClefJ Morthal - Landscape and Water Fixes.esp
Great Village of Mixwater Mill - Landscape and Water Fixes Patch.esp
Sleeping Tree Path Patch.esp
Man Those Borders - USSEP Patch.esp
Perk-Vigilant.esp
Great Village of Kynesgrove - CC - Fishing Patch.esp
Whiterun Watchtower Doesnt Start Broken - Siberpunks Cut.esp
ZimsImmersiveArtifacts_WACCF_Patch.esp
AudioOverhaulSkyrim_WACCF_Patch.esp
CC-FearsomeFists_WACCF_Patch.esp
CC-Fishing_WACCF_Patch.esp
CC-NecromanticGrimoire_WACCF_Patch.esp
DawnguardArsenal_WACCF_Patch.esp
ImmersiveSoundsCompendium_ACE_Patch.esp
Cloaks_WACCF_Patch.esp
RSChildren_WACCF_Patch.esp
TUDM RS Children Patch.esp
DawnguardArsenal_WACCF-ACE_Patch.esp
Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim.esp
20 More Perk Points.esp
Perk Points at Skill Levels 50-75-100.esp
Complete Alchemy & Cooking Overhaul.esp
CACO_JSPursesAndSeptims_Patch.esp
QRVAE_CACO_AOS Patch.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - CACO patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - CACO patch.esp
Player Home Patches.esp
Stendarr Rising - CACO patch.esp
CACO_Survival Mode_Patch.esp
CC-Fishing_CACO_Patch.esp
Landscape and Water Fixes - Patch - CACO.esp
CACO Rare Curios Patch.esp
CACO_BookCoversSkyrim_Patch.esp
CACO_Saints&Seducers.esp
CACO_Wintersun.esp
CC-Bittercup_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-BloodchillManor_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-BowOfShadows_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-ForgottenSeasons_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-Goblins_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-Nix-Hound_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-PlagueOfTheDead_CACO_Patch.esp
CC-TheCause_CACO_Patch.esp
RelationshipDialogueOverhaul_CACO_Patch.esp
krptopyr Patches Merged.esp
Apocalypse - Magic of Skyrim.esp
Apocalypse - Ordinator Compatibility Patch.esp
TCBM.esp
CACO_Ordinator_Patch.esp
Ordinator_WACCF_Patch.esp
OrdToNMod.esp
Ordinator-Spellscribe Sound Addon.esp
Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp
Towns Patches Merged.esp
Alternate Start -- New Beginnings.esp
ELFX Shadows - Alternate Start Patch.esp
Landscape Fixes For Grass mods - Alternate start Locations.esp
ClefJ Morthal - ASLAL.esp
Great Town of Ivarstead - Alternate Start Patch.esp
TGC Winterhold - Alternate Start patch.esp
ELFXEnhancer.esp
ELFX Fixes Ragged Flagon Fix.esp
OCW_CellSettings.esp
Water for ENB (Shades of Skyrim).esp
Water for ENB - Patch - Folkvangr.esp
Water for ENB - Patch - Clear Underwater.esp
WACCF_BashedPatchLvlListFix.esp
NoGrassINCaves.esp
DynDOLOD.esp
Occlusion.esp
Bashed Patch, 0.esp

I've been gone at college between the years of 2015-2019. During this time my eldest brother had gotten very interested in selling old baseball, football, and pokemon cards as we had amassed a large amount as children. In the time I was gone, a lot of the family storage spaces were raided by my brother. I moved back in with my parents recently as September, 2022. Literally just two or so weeks ago I noticed in the pile of boxes from the attic, my dad's original Hasbro Ouija board game stacked under some boxes.
Now, I was born in '97, I'm a child of Blair Witch (1999), Paranormal Activity (2007), and Ouija (2014) so for me, I've been exposed to "information" about Ouija boards throughout my life. When I told my mother about my find, she was not happy and told me she would talk to my father about it; which is interesting most of all considering his heavily Catholic upbringing and my mother's heavy Methodist upbringing. I'm concerned why my father never saw anything wrong with having a Ouija board. I confided in my mother how uncomfortable it made me and explained the common processes of disposing of Ouija boards but she claimed I was 'giving it too much power' by being scared of it and it was nothing more than a board game. But I am worried she will simply try to just throw the board game away into our garbage and might possibly open us up to something dark.
TL;DR: I discovered my father's original Hasbro Ouija board in the attic, and upon telling my mother she just wants to dispose of it but I am worried that might be dangerous and we should follow guides online but she claims that is "giving it too much power" and it is "just a board game". Is this really the truth? I feel otherwise. How should we dispose of the Ouija board?

I had depression for almost 5 years (13-18yo). When I was ~16 I lost sexual desire and since I wasn't very good-looking and had lost all hopes in losing my virginity and had some bigger troubles to worry about I didn't give this situation the importance it deserved.
Long story short, now I'm 19 and not depressed anymore, I'm also way more phisically atractive than I was during my adolescence and got a GF. Since she came so unexpectedly in my life, the problem of the lack of sex drive came out all of a sudden. During 2022 I went to the gym for some months and my libido increased a lot. However because of the lack of discipline and free time I eventually quit. Some months ago I became interesed calisthenics and started practiing at home. At first, I started doing push-ups and pull-ups sporadically, without keeping track of my repetitions or doing the right number of sets to get the most out of the muscle.
A few weeks ago I got really serious about calisthenics but I wonder if it will be as good as weight lifting for increasing testosterone and sex drive. I'm not the best actor and although I tried my best to make her happy, she eventually realized that I felt very uncomfortable having sex, which was also terrible for me as it made her feel unwanted, which is not the case. My partner is very understanding and comprehends my situation. However, I know that deep down she wants to have more sexual relations, like any normal person, and I would also like to live my sexuality normally. What would you do in my situation?
I must say it took me at least one month and a half doing weightlifgting for my libido to increase and for some time I was feeling like I used to when I was in puberty, which was great. I haven't found any research on internet, only generic mentions of resistance training as a way to improve sex drive. Calisthenics fits much better into my schedule than the gym so it's a hard choice but I'd always put first whatever it takes to make her happy.

Heartbroken and used.
I was in love and now I’m so fucking broken
I’m so messed up right now. I’m good at recalling events and how things went down, especially when it comes to her. So, I’ll say things how it is. I’m 24 years old. I was so fucking in love but now I’m so torn.. Broken.. I don’t even know the word.. I met a girl on March 3rd of 2021. She lives in Toronto and I live in Mississauga, approx 45 min drive. I met her through my uni roommate/best friend.. I think. Our first date was amazing, we kept talking and didn’t want to leave each other; it was like love at first sight and kissed right before I dropped her off. For the next month, we met up almost every day. I live a 45 minute drive away from her, depending on traffic sometimes even takes 1 hour and 15 minutes. We met up every day and could not let go of each other. Both her and I were resisting the urge to say I love you. I was told to always wait so I waited for her to say it first. So a month in, she said something along the lines of “I know I’m supposed to wait and I tried.. But I can’t. I love you. I love you so much. I’m so glad to have met you.” sometimes you just know I guess, and it honestly felt like she was the right one for me. I said it back and I truly meant it. It felt like an eternity of avoiding saying I love you, and I couldn’t hold it back. She used to talk to me with so much love and care.. She confessed her trauma to me, and only recently told me the full story before we broke up. It’s something so messed up, and makes sense why she's not mentally well. Anyway.. She would surprise me and work and everything, I felt so loved. We even talked about marriage.. And a future together. It was mainly me that bought the idea up. I told her that I’m looking for a potential partner. And she had told me that she sees potential in me. Maybe a couple weeks go by and we’re talking like we want to get married and how crazy our kids would be bcz of the jokes we make. We really connected and it’s like we were meant for each other.
Around April 10-11, we had a talk and she says that she thinks we’re going too fast and that it’s scaring her and thinks we should slow it down, or even just consider it a casual relationship/no commitment. Of course, I was very sad but I said okay. Over the next couple days, I was just very sad. Then, I get a text out of the blue at work on April 13th, this is word for word as I go through the texts. “I want to break up. I don’t think I can do this. I’ve been stressing so much my head will explode. But the moment I look at you or hear your voice, it breaks my heart. I can’t do this. Please don’t call me.”, I tried to ask for a reason but she had blocked me and I called her friend and she convinced her to unblock me. She said that I was only making it worse. I thought I was going to die. I called my best friends, now fiancee, and I just bawled my eyes. She was the only one who was appearing online and seemed like she could give good advice. I convinced my ex gf to meet me, and my best friend and his fiancee came with me to support me. We met up and she confessed that she thinks she started another relationship too early as she had just broken up with her ex three months prior. She also said that he was her only source of happiness and kept her at bay from her trauma. Then went on to say that she’s scared that it might be happening with me as well. But also said that she doesn’t believe it is because she really loves me but the thought that it might scares her, and that I might get hurt later. I told her that we can work through it. She said that that’s not the only thing bothering her. The thing she’s really scared about that might hurt me.. Is the fact that she slept with my uni roommate/bf that introduced me to her and ever since we started dating he kept telling her to break up with me because he didn't want me to get hurt.. I was shocked, but I decided to tell her it’s okay even though I didn’t know if it was okay at the moment. We made up, and met up with my friend and his fiancee (very awkward) bcz she felt bad they came all the way from where I live. They left, and before dropping her off I fell into a very bad state of sadness where I just wouldn’t talk, I was sad over the thought that I almost lost her. She sat on my lap, hugged me and said I told you what was really bothering me and now I don’t feel any stress now. Everything is alright, and that she’s not leaving me and I’m not leaving her and that she loves me so so much, more than I could ever imagine. But still we should slow it down, not talk about marriage or anything (she even considered taking a break but she didn’t want to do that bcz she loves me so much). I accepted what she said if it meant not being apart from her.
A month goes by where we haven't mentioned anything about marriage, kids or anything. But slowly she started saying stuff like “When we get married” or “When we have kids”. Whenever she said stuff like that, I would just smile or laugh (in an agreeable way, if that makes sense) but I wouldn’t say anything about it or say stuff like that to her bcz I knew she didn’t want to go fast. I think she never caught on to what I’m doing. It started happening more and more, eventually started saying it in front of her sister and friends, and then would go on to say something like “He must be so annoyed at me bcz I just told him we should go slow and now I’m saying this hahahaha”. She kept going and eventually I gave in and started speaking like that too bcz I truly wanted my life with her. We never talked about it properly but we both got an understanding of what we wanted with each other; marriage and kids. We did have a conversation where she ended up saying “Of course I want to have a future with you”, so I got the message. She would talk about it quite often (getting married and kids), even saying we’ll get married on a location across the world so we can have a small wedding and not have to invite certain people. Things were going extremely well, she was my perfect girl. Couldn’t have dreamed of anyone better.
She had night terrors, due to the trauma and would get super sad and call me; which would make her feel better. Eventually, she started to change the way she said things.. For example, “When we get married” or “when we have kids” changed to “Whenever I get married” or “whenever I have kids, if i have kids”. I could sense something was wrong. I had anxiety that the same thing was happening again. This was maybe 9 months into dating. My other best friend, calls me on discord and tells me hesitantly that my gf and him met up, and she told him she thinks she might end things with me but she's not sure yet, she wants to talk things through with her therapist and figure out on her own whether she wants to first. It’s because she feels I deserve better. She also talked to another one of my best friends, telling him that shes not sure that this is what she wants. That I’m too nice, and that she’s not sure if that is what she wants. She feels I deserve better, someone who's able to reciprocate the same type of love. To explain, I always treated her like a princess. I took her to the best physiotherapist I knew in my town. I would pick her up in Toronto, take her to my physio and then drop her off in Toronto and go back home. I would pick her up in Toronto and take her home when she’s tired, I would take her to most of her appointments. I would never get angry, I only ever tried to make her life easier and make her feel at peace because I love her so much. I didn’t ask for anything or much in return. I only gave, didn’t expect anything back. We always communicated problems, I guess maybe she only kept a lot of her problems to herself cuz she didn’t want to burden me. I truly just cared and loved her, that’s why I did what I did. I don’t get angry, it’s very hard to make me angry or act out of anger. Just the type of person I am I guess, also my parents are like that too so I guess it runs in the family. So I guess this is why she felt like that. ANYWAY, I was heartbroken and super sad and I think she caught on and stopped talking to my friend. She didn’t know what the other friend told me as well. We met up, I acted as if nothing happened, we were working and she was showing me something on her laptop. And I happened to see a posted note that she was scrolling down on and it said “I’m afraid i might hurt him”. That day we talked about her feelings, and she explained how she's been feeling. I told her lets work through it together. Out of desperation, I also said “you won’t leave me right?..” to which she said she won’t. Even though I knew it sounded unsure.
A couple weeks go by, and she calls me out of excitement. She tells me that she’s “graduated” from her therapy sessions, and that she has no doubts about me, that she knows I’m the one who she wants to be with, she finally is starting to understand herself and she’s sorry that she even doubted for a second. That she loves me so much that no words can explain. She always told me she loves me more than I do, I knew that was false because I have an unbelievable amount of love for her and I showed her that.. She also said that “I now know that during specific months of the year I’ll feel like this but I have to power through it to not feel like that” (it’s usually around the time when that trauma happens to her, that's what the therapist explained to her). She said that it’s only a feeling at the time when she's at her lowest, to which I respond “I’ll always be there for her forever and always”. ALSO, she said that she doesn’t love herself so she feels she has no love to give; which was part reason for her doubt about me. Time goes by and she starts saying stuff like “When we get married”, but it was always back and forth like she couldn’t decide.
She would always say stuff like I feel like I’m stuck, “marriage is just being stuck with someone forever”, I could never do that, we’re so young and there’s so many people in the sea. (not at the same time but randomly, to her friends while I’m in the car. It made me feel like shit. She called me in the morning once, and while crying said “She had a dream that she cheated on me” and I asked her “You would never cheat on me right?” to which she responded “yea… **HUGE PAUSE** inshallah”. Inshallah in islam means if god wills, it’s also like saying HOPEFULLY. It made it seem like she was unsure. Ever since then, I have had massive anxiety. She said that she always felt this feeling of being stuck. And that she’s always been afraid she might hurt me. 1-2 months go by and I confront her about EVERYTHING that she’s said, and she explains I deserve better and we break up and I leave.
It didn’t last long though, we would call at night sometimes, I would read her stories so she could go to sleep. During the 2 weeks we were apart we realized our feelings for each other. Ended up getting back together, and she asked me “It’s okay if we get back together right? Right now all I know is that I love you and you’re the one I want to be with. We know that when that time of the year comes it’s because of trauma, and we’ll work through it”. This was mid July 2022. A couple days after, all my friends asked me are you sure this is what you want? And it really made me sad, and I called my gf and she assured me that they can think what they want but she truly loves me and if anyone is going to leave it would be me if I decided to because she could never. The day after that, she called me crying that all my friends did not want me to be with her. She said that she was “Torn, broken, heartbroken”. (When we got back together she asked “can we forget this breakup even happened”) So she asked me “have we not passed it? Do you not believe that I’m so in love with you? Do you feel I’m going to leave you still? I could never”. And I reassured her that I believe her over anything, that she is my world, and that I trust her and everything is okay. I reassured that I loved her immensely. Maybe a week later, she calls crying again saying she had another dream about cheating and is scared that I might leave her one day. I said that cheating is not an option for either me or you. I know a million % that I could never. I asked her the next morning, “Why were you afraid of that nightmare?” and she said “What else could be the reason for us breaking up?”. I kinda put two and two together, if she feels like this and she’s always been afraid to hurt me.. It means that everyday since we started dating, she’s been afraid that she’s going to cheat on me one day. But I just loved her so much..
Mid August 2022, I’m on a camping trip and she calls me. She tells me in a super happy and excited tone “I love you so so much, you’re the one I want to be with. I’m so so sorry that I ever doubted my feelings for you. I just had this urge to tell you all this, that I want my life with you. I love you way more than you could ever imagine. Words cannot describe. So can we please hurry up the process of getting engaged? Because I want to tell and show everyone who I am with. I don’t want to hide you anymore.”.. She sounded so confident and it ignited me honestly. I was so damn happy. All my doubts were over.
Since then, at least for the month, things were amazing, we were slowly talking about introducing each other to each other's parents. I introduced her to my cousins and all. Little did I know that she actually started feeling like that again. She started hanging out with her own friends a lot. She made A LOT of guy friends and all I could do was think about how she thinks she might hurt me by cheating on me one day. But she just kept getting more and more guy friends. I know they were just friends and nothing more (at least while we were dating) but it just felt weird. But she introduced me to one of her guy friends and he seemed very genuine, like a big brother. He asked about my intentions with her ( even though they were only friends for a month ) . It was like he’s been her life long friend questioning me. I told him we both plan on getting engaged and all. He said really? Don’t you feel like she's so young and is a very independent girl? Too soon, no?”. It was so weird.. We went on a trip to Ottawa a week after to see my friend who’s leaving back to Malaysia. Here we also met up with my friend that she slept with, can’t decide if I hate him or not. I feel very betrayed by everyone.. Idk. Anyway, on our way back from the trip (4 hour drive btw), at the beginning of the ride I asked her if she still wants to get engaged? She said no. I told her if it wasn’t because of her friend I wouldn’t have known she changed her mind. I asked her why? What changed her mind? Because just up until a week ago she's been telling my friends, family, physiotherapist that we wanted to get engaged this summer but it’s going to happen next summer now. She said she doesn’t even have an education or anything.. She said she's a nobody. I asked why she kept telling people we plan on getting engaged in the summer. She said she thought “we were joking”. What the actual fucking shit poop. I reminded her of our convo during the camping trip, and she said she’s starting to remember it now. Because of her trauma she forgets things all the time and so easily, her night terrors really affect her memory and way of thinking straight. So on our whole car ride we talked about everything and decided to break up so that she can get better and grow.
She said she loves me more than I ever could when we broke up about 2 months ago. She said she just wants me to be happy and not be anxious anymore. But at the same time she said that she USED to love me properly but can’t anymore because she doesn’t love herself. There’s no way she could EVER and I mean EVERRR love me the way I loved her. I mean it was completely one sided love. And I’m completely fucked up over it. I’m broken. I’m heartbroken. Not just heartbroken, I was mentally tortured. I don’t even know what I’m broken/fucked over.. Is it her? That I won’t end up with her? Or the fact that she completely messed me up mentally with what she wanted us to be? Or the fact that she was battling everyday with the thought of cheating on me? I gave her everything.. I did everything for her to make her life easier and did everything to be her peace. I gave her everything and it was all for nothing? I guess nice guys really do finish last?
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My last conversation with her
Me:
Honestly, I'm really hurt. I've been thinking of just keeping it to myself because I don't want to make you sad.. but I feel like I can't be loved anymore. For the entirety of our relationship, you felt like you're going to hurt me. Then randomly that feeling would stop for a little, and you would reassure me that you love me and that you don't feel like that and that you want to be with me.. but then immediately that feeling would come back. And this happen 3-4 where you've reassured it. So there's no point of thinking "I should have just had this conversation with you earlier". Honestly at first I didn't know what you meant by "I feel like I'm going to hurt you" or "you're going to get hurt". But only recently I put two and two together, and figured that all this time, the whole time, you felt like you were going to cheat on me. That's devastating…..
and this last time, during my camping trip when you called and told me all that stuff about wanting to get engaged sooner, how you love me and I'm the one you want to be with. And the way you apologized for ever having doubts about me, it seemed so sincere. But during our car ride from Ottawa, when you told me that you didn't remember that and you thought we were joking about getting engaged… that really broke. And to have pretty much only figured it out from your friend, it hurt a lot.
In the beginning of our relationship, when I told you that my ex cheated on me. You said that people don't want to cheat for no reason.. you have to have did something wrong or there had to have been a fault. So this whole time I've thought and reflected on why my two past girlfriends have either felt like or have cheated on me. And since Adil told me that you told him that I was too nice and you don't think that's you want", . Then maybe that's what it is. Maybe I'm just too fuckin nice. Or maybe it's something else about me idk. I feel like maybe I’m just some sort of game. And honestly, I'm broken, feel like I can't be loved. But I refuse to feel like that, and I don't care what anyone says but I deserve to love and be loved. Someone who can accept me for me and really cares about me.
I feel like I just had to tell you this bcz I wasn't having any peace of mind. There definitely were many good times, but the fact that you would consider breaking up with me and then keep reassuring me that everything was fine afterwards, and for the entirety of our relationship you thought you were going to cheat on me has completely fucked me up.
Regardless of this, I still find myself loving you. Still dying to talk to you. And if it's meant to be then it's meant to be, and if it's not then Ill just continue living. I'm still your friend. Even though I'm messed up right now. Still your friend. And I'll always be here for you, I know you're going through something and that probably affected us and maybe what I said might be selfish I don't know. I'm not in a good state of mind at the moment so I'm sorry. But I'm here for you, and if you're super lonely call me.
I saw the letting go post. I promise to only look at the good things and forget the bad. So that I can let go on a good note. I seriously hope that now that we're not together it'll be much easier for you to find your happiness, and find what makes you happy. And I pray that your new beginning is truly beautiful.
Her:
It’s unfortunate that I couldn’t reciprocate your love. I always tell you, you deserve to get the same love you give, if not more. I can’t be sorry enough for doing what I did to you. The distancing and then reassuring and then repeating the same cycle. I have tried my hardest to keep myself sane. To keep it going. To convince myself that I am in love and I am loved but the reality is I have no love to feel or to give
As for the cheating part, I now believe that there’s no reason good enough or valid enough for cheating. You cheat because you’re a shitty person. Period. It’s not that your partner made a mistake and there was a reason for you to cheat. What’s worse than cheating is making someone believe that you’re so sure of them and that you wanna marry them, give them all these hopes and dreams and then leaving It’s the biggest sin in my eyes, I’ve seen people experience that and it’s the worse pain you can ever get. Never did I think that I’d do that to someone too
Maybe in my core I am rotten I haven’t had a single moment ever since where I am happy or at peace. I am burning. And I don’t even wanna feel better. I think I deserve to be in pain.
But believe me
As much pain as I have caused, I think leaving you is best for you. I could’ve been selfish and stay with you and enjoy all the perks and the support and the love. But I know I’m not giving the same back. You deserve all the happiness and love in the world and I can’t give you that. I’m on fire and anyone who touches me also burns
I wish I could go back in time and erase everything from your memory. Or take all your pain to myself. Because every tear that rolls down your cheeks is my doing. For every tear your shed, I wanna shed a river
Idk about love. Idk about my mental health. And why my feelings keep changing my thinking keeps changing. But one thing I know for sure and I want is for you to be happy. At one point, I convinced myself to be with you for your happiness even if I don’t feel loved or happy
Idk how to punish myself enough
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Four months post breakup
I’ve been reflecting ever since the breakup every single day. I didn’t really realize at first, but the more I think about it.. The more I realize how dirty she did me, and how wrong it is what she did to me. Telling all my friends, family, sisters, cousins about our plans to get engaged. Having serious conversations about getting engaged which weren’t initiated by me. Constantly reassuring me that I’m the one she loves, i’m the only person she wants to be with, apologizing for ever doubting her love for me.. At the end, telling me in a car that she thought “we were joking..”. I feel so manipulated and used. How could I be so blind. How could I not have listened to my friends about what they thought about her. I think it’s because even when they did tell me their concerns about her, I would tell her and should would cry and say “Are we not over this yet? Do you not believe and trust my love for you?. I feel so dumb. Every single night recently when I go to sleep she haunts me in my dreams; I guess you just call it nightmares. Nightmares, every single night I wake up in sweat. I though finally it was over (the nightmares) when I didn’t have one a couple days ago. But they just started over again the next day. I hate going to sleep, fearing that I’ll have nightmares again.. I don’t want them. Why can’t she just leave me alone? I don’t want to see her in my sleep..
I finally figured it out though. I was being used. I gave her everything and did everything for her. She never really loved me because you don’t ever do this to anyone you love. After talking to my friends and family, it’s true and as shitty as it sounds.. She never really loved. Or it wasn’t true love because she only thought that I was “good for her”, these were her words. She literally said “You’re so good for me”. She definitely felt that if she lost me, no one else would treat her like a princess and do all these things for her. I was literally used. It’s crazy because she never even loved me. It’s crazy that it was completely one sided even though she kept manipulating me to believing that she loved me more than I could ever.
Allegedly, my first ex cheated on me too (not the one that I’m talking about in this post). My ex’s friend who is in her close friend group circle telling me she did and other friends telling me that someone else told them she did as well a couple years later. But my best friend also told me she didn’t because he knows my ex’s best friend and she said that she didn’t.. In combination with the feeling of what my most recent ex (the one that I’m talking about in this post)....
It has made me feel like I can’t be loved or ever believe someone actually loves me.

In electronics, a mixer, or frequency mixer, is a nonlinear electrical circuit that creates new frequencies from two signals applied to it. In its most common application, two signals are applied to a mixer, and it produces new signals at the sum and difference of the original frequencies.
LPI (LP Information)' newest research report, the “Frequency Mixer Industry Forecast” looks at past sales and reviews total world Frequency Mixer sales in 2022, providing a comprehensive analysis by region and market sector of projected Frequency Mixer sales for 2023 through 2029. With Frequency Mixer sales broken down by region, market sector and sub-sector, this report provides a detailed analysis in US$ millions of the world Frequency Mixer industry.
This Insight Report provides a comprehensive analysis of the global Frequency Mixer landscape and highlights key trends related to product segmentation, company formation, revenue, and market share, latest development, and M&A activity. This report also analyzes the strategies of leading global companies with a focus on Frequency Mixer portfolios and capabilities, market entry strategies, market positions, and geographic footprints, to better understand these firms' unique position in an accelerating global Frequency Mixer market.
This Insight Report evaluates the key market trends, drivers, and affecting factors shaping the global outlook for Frequency Mixer and breaks down the forecast by type, by application, geography, and market size to highlight emerging pockets of opportunity. With a transparent methodology based on hundreds of bottom-up qualitative and quantitative market inputs, this study forecast offers a highly nuanced view of the current state and future trajectory in the global Frequency Mixer.
The global Frequency Mixer market size is projected to grow from US$ 1218.7 million in 2022 to US$ 2231.4 million in 2029; it is expected to grow at a CAGR of 2231.4 from 2023 to 2029.
Qorvo was the global greatest company in Frequency Mixer industry, with the revenue market Share of 12% , followed by Mini Circuits, Analog Devices, Marki Microwave, Skyworks Solutions, NXP Semiconductors, Texas Instruments, Mecury System, Psemi Corporation, L3 Harris Narda-MITEQ, Maxim Integrated, UMS, Pasternack (Infinite Electronics International，Inc), IDT, API Technologies, Smith Interconnect, Quinstar Technology, R & K Company Limited, Macom, NJR, Guerrilla RF, Hengwei Microwave Electronic.Asia-Pacific is the largest Frequency Mixer market with about 34% market share. North America is follower, accounting for about 31% market share.
This report presents a comprehensive overview, market shares, and growth opportunities of Frequency Mixer market by product type, application, key manufacturers and key regions and countries.
Key Questions Addressed in this Report
What is the 10-year outlook for the global Frequency Mixer market?
What factors are driving Frequency Mixer market growth, globally and by region?
Which technologies are poised for the fastest growth by market and region?
How do Frequency Mixer market opportunities vary by end market size?
How does Frequency Mixer break out type, application?
What are the influences of COVID-19 and Russia-Ukraine war?
Request Sample Report and Full Report TOC:
https://www.lpinformationdata.com/reports/456479/frequency-mixer-2029
Strategic Points Covered in TOC:
Chapter 1: Scope of Frequency Mixer, Research Methodology, etc.
Chapter 2: Executive Summary, global Frequency Mixer market size (sales and revenue) and CAGR, Frequency Mixer market size by region, by type, by application, historical data from 2017 to 2023, and forecast to 2029.
Chapter 3: Frequency Mixer sales, revenue, average price, global market share, and industry ranking by company, 2017-2023
Chapter 4: Global Frequency Mixer sales and revenue by region and by country. Country specific data and market value analysis for the U.S., Canada, Europe, China, Japan, South Korea, Southeast Asia, India, Latin America and Middle East & Africa.
Chapter 5, 6, 7, 8: Americas, APAC, Europe, Middle East & Africa, sales segment by country, by type, and type.
Chapter 9: Analysis of the current market trends, market forecast, opportunities and economic trends that are affecting the future marketplace
Chapter 10: Manufacturing cost structure analysis
Chapter 11: Sales channel, distributors, and customers
Chapter 12: Global Frequency Mixer market size forecast by region, by country, by type, and application.
Chapter 13: the key raw materials and key suppliers, and industry chain of Frequency Mixer.
Chapter 14: Research Findings and Conclusion
LP INFORMATION (LPI) is a professional market report publisher based in America, providing high quality market research reports with competitive prices to help decision makers make informed decisions and take strategic actions to achieve excellent outcomes.We have an extensive library of reports on hundreds of technologies.Search for a specific term, or click on an industry to browse our reports by subject. Narrow down your results using our filters or sort by what’s important to you, such as publication date, price, or name.
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Sorry long post, thank you for reading and the help, ahead of time;)
Hello, I am a 26 year old male from the PNW. I work as an union elevator mechanic, base salary is $135,000. I have been in the union for 5 years and investing since the beginning of my tenure.
Through the union I earn a pension, at $125 for every year of service (so 10 years of service is $1250/mo at retirement). Also an annuity at $19,000 every year. That annuity is invested by the union for me( unfortunately out of my control what fund it is invested in). Also I contribute 10% to a 401k. Currently invested in target fund for year 2060. I know if continue with this path I can retire very comfortably at the age of 62 with social security included. (Estimates from empowerment say over $3,500,00 by that age).
The reason for this post is there has been a resent passing in the family, with that I will be inheriting about $600,000. I have about $20,000 in debt between cars and credit cards I want to pay off immediately. I live in a HCOL area where current home prices owning a home seem unattainable. Is purchasing a home a wise way to spend the money or just park the cash in an invest and wait 20 years and retire in my late 40’s and try to live off dividend until I’m able to collect my union retirement at 58? I feel as though it isn’t a large enough sum of money to consult a financial planner about?maybe I’m wrong. I am happy to workin my current field for another 20 years, just curious of peoples opinions or insight from people of a similar scenario.
Thank you!

i knew this guy from years before we became a “thing” last year in may 2022. we talked seriously for a while, he realized he’s not ready for a serious relationship as he’s in recovery and wants to be sober for a good while and in counseling and coping good before adding anything serious. so we continued to talk but also we’re sexually invoked with one another.
ok in october he relapsed and is now sober 6 months. we started talking more flirty again and have hung out and have become sexual again. There has been talked of boundaries and how he is not ready for anything serious so i mean we honestly have a genuine connection. physical and emotional. i am planning on bringing this up with my counselor this week on how to be happy and content with the casual of this “relationship” because i honestly don’t want to look for someone else. sounds cheesy or clingybut i see something different in him this time after his relapse and the growth i’ve seen is very attractive to me but anyway i guess im wondering if anyone has been in similar situations ?

I posted my story on here a few days ago but no one read it so I’m going to make a short one.
Before this I had/have GAD, and ADD. School is a big stressor for me. Relationships (romantic/and friends) are/were important to me. Loneliness eats at me.
In October 2021, I got left by my partner of a 5 year relationship. In April 2022 I had a falling out with my best friend and it was disturbing to me bc of the way it happened. In August 2022 I started vaping heavily and I was doing it for less than 2 months. I started to notice the visual snow at the end of September 2022 and that’s when the height of my symptoms started, around beginning of October 2022.
My symptoms are visual static, sensitivity to lights, I can see objects after I look away from them, it feels like I’m lagging in a videogame, brain fog, decreased attention span, decreased memory, loss of interest in hobbies, it’s harder for me to form emotional connections with people and things and ideas. I just find it hard to care. I sometimes laugh or cry but I immediately wonder if I’m really feeling happy or sad, if I really feel anything.
These symptoms are very similar to what you guys describe, but my therapist (who specializes in dissociative disorders) says I don’t have DPDR especially because I don’t really have childhood trauma. They think my symptoms are anxiety based. They want to try EMDR on me.
I don’t really know what caused my symptoms. Vaping? Traumatic losses of friendships and relationships?
Would vaping permanently destroy my brain? Should I get a brain scan?
I lost a close family member recently and I wish I could have been more mentally present with them before they left. I don’t know if I’m processing the loss. Like I said I can cry but I immediately wonder if I’m really feeling sad.
I will say that very very recently it seems like I’ve come out of my winter depression, but again, I can’t really feel it, only that I’m supposed to be feeling it.
Thank you for reading this and I hope you find healing. I hope to talk to you all in the comments.

Did hair loss speed up due to Covid or quitting min at 5 months
Hi folks. I was using minoxidil from October 2022 to December 2022. It seemed to thicken, regrow my hair and stop hair fall. I then started rosemary oil after stopping minoxidil, to see if I could have an alt treatment. I was happy with min results but I definitely had loss of erections HOWEVER, I had Covid shortly after I started hair treatment, so I still wonder if it was that. Cause my erections came back strong after 2 months of not using min. But then I recently got Covid a few weeks ago, and I’m having the same erection issues. So maybe it wasn’t min?
Anyway I came here to say that my hair is falling a lot. I’m finding clumps every time I take a shower. I didn’t start noticing this until about 2 weeks after having Covid for a 3rd time? Is this Covid related (speeding up hair full/ will it stop/ slow down)? Or is it it finally catching up to where my hair would have been before starting min? Cause at this point 5 months? Seems like a long time. Let me know

Road trip anyone?
Not sure this is the right forum but figured why not?
Im a 31M living in Charleston, SC, and I saw that there is a veg fest vegan food festival coming up 3/26 in Savannah that looks fun. I've never been to that city and was thinking of taking a mini road trip (looks like only a 2-hour drive or so) down there in the morning, checking out Savannah for a few hours, and then hitting up the event. I know it's kind of short notice, but I wanted to see if anyone else was interested!
I'm new to Charleston and figured it might be a great way to get to know some like minded vegan/veggie peeps. Bonus points for huge foodies, fantasy nerds, gamer peeps, or witchy types but I'm open to get to know anybody. I'd be happy to drive, my car could fit four-5 people easily including myself.
DM me if you live in the area and think you'd be interested, I can give you more info and once we have a party we can put together a rough plan for the day although I am a fan of winging it... Looking forward to hearing from you guys.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/savannah-veg-fest-2023-w-dr-t-colin-campbell-tickets-359513212697

Sorry for the long post, I’ve included context that I think is relevant to establish my mental state at various relevant times. Please feel free to ask me directly about any other relevant details I’ve left out that might be relevant.
When I got married, I was 23 and she was 20. We didn’t know anyone else our age that was married, and weren’t social enough to interact with many other (older) couples. In fact, it wasn’t until our eldest son was around 10 (we’d been married around 11-12 years) we finally started getting to know other married couples (parents from our kid’s school). and was married for 25 years. We were never blissfully happy in our marriage, but we didn’t really have a good point of reference for what married couples were SUPPOSED to feel behind closed doors, so I assumed things were “normal” and just accepted my life as it was. I was the breadwinner, but my wife handled all our household expenses and gave me a monthly "allowance" (I was literally not allowed to go to shops, as I might buy something that wasn't on her list).
We attempted marriage counselling a few times. My wife would talk about how she felt, and I told her I felt the same way. She was never able to tell me what I needed to start/stop doing to change any of her negative feelings, so we were never able to make any progress. Eventually, early last year (after 25 years of marriage), on the same day my eldest son was moving out of the family home, my wife told me that she’d decided we were getting separated – effective immediately.
I had spent more than half my life defining myself in terms of husband, father and caregiver. Suddenly, I was no longer a husband, my eldest son was on his own and my wife had taken the youngest with her, and I had nobody left to provide for or care for. I had moved to Brisbane (and I got my Aus my citizenship) a decade prior in order to ensure my wife could live closer to her family, and I had no support network. This all created an identity crisis for me that had me seriously contemplating suicide.
Obviously, my wife had no such issues – as she had “pulled the pin” at a time that was convenient for her, she had a support network, and she still had our youngest. She was ready to talk about financial separation immediately. She was clear that she saw this as her opportunity to “set herself up for the future”, while my perspective was this was our last opportunity to take care of each other. I agreed to give her 60% of our bank accounts, 60% of the equity in our home, one of our cars, and 30% of my Super, child support, and a few other kid expenses that weren't covered by child support. She engaged an attorney, I got no legal assistance. The financial settlement was approved by the court, and took effect in the middle of 2022.
We now share custody of our youngest (15m), and I have him for a week at a time. I pay child support to an amount determined by CSA, by bank transfer from my account to hers. I also pay for all expenses related to my son’s transport to/from school (public transport costs), the phone and phone service he uses, and still pay for half the costs associated with school fees and uniforms. I’ve recently decided I’d like to pay through CSA directly, as I believe some of these ad-hoc expenses should be covered by hundreds of dollars per week that my wife gets in child support – but she refuses to make arrangements for this and CSA won’t let me (as the pay-er) set this up.
Are there any ramifications if I just don’t make the child support payment, effectively forcing her to go through CSA?

As always, feel free to discuss any headlines that went down in kpop this week — including, but not limited to: comeback announcements, touring news, controversies, achievements, business moves, the latest social media outrage, you name it.

COMEBACK NEWS & RUMORS

• SHINee’s Key Drops Cool Retro Teaser + Sneak Peek Of Game-Inspired Album Packaging For “Killer”
• TNX Is Pretty In The Sun In New “Love Never Dies” Comeback Teasers
• TXT Embarks On A “Sugar Rush Ride” In Mystical Comeback MV
• THE BOYZ Moves Their Comeback To An Earlier Date
• NCT 127 Sings “Ay-Yo” In MV For Repackaged Album
• STAYC Unveils 1st MV Teaser For “Teddy Bear” Comeback
• PURPLE KISS Bewitches In Alluring Comeback Teasers For “Sweet Juice”
• TWICE Announces Comeback Date With 1st Teaser For “READY TO BE”
• Hwang Minhyun Announces Solo Debut Date With Intriguing 1st Teaser For “Truth Or Lie”
• NMIXX Kicks Off A New Era With Magical Teaser Video
• ATEEZ Gears Up For Next Chapter With Cinematic Epilogue Film For “SPIN OFF: FROM THE WITNESS”
• ONF’s Hyojin Announces Special Valentine’s Day Single + Drops 1st Teaser

AWARD SEASON 2023

• NCT’s Doyoung And (G)I-DLE’s Miyeon To Host Circle (Gaon) Chart Music Awards
• TWICE To Receive Breakthrough Award At 2023 Billboard Women In Music Ceremony
• Hanteo Music Awards 2022 Announces 3rd Lineup Of Artists
• BTS And BLACKPINK Score Nominations For 2023 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards

CONCERTS & TOURING

• Stray Kids To Headline Lollapalooza Paris 2023
• KCON 2023 Thailand Announces 3rd Performer Lineup
• 2PM Confirmed To Be Preparing For Full-Group Concert
• Inaugural We Bridge Music Festival In Las Vegas Announces Lineup
• ASTRO’s Moonbin&Sanha Announces Dates And Cities For First Unit Fan-Con World Tour “DIFFUSION”
• BLACKPINK Announces Additional Dates And Venues For “BORN PINK” Concerts In Mexico And Australia

CHARTING, SALES & STREAMING

• NewJeans’ “OMG” Debuts On Billboard’s Hot 100, Making Them Fastest K-Pop Artist In History To Chart Multiple Entries
• Red Velvet Officially Becomes Million Sellers With “The ReVe Festival 2022 – Birthday”
• NewJeans Becomes Fastest K-Pop Group To Achieve Million-Selling Album With “OMG”
• TXT Becomes 1st Group In Melon Top 100 History To Chart All Songs From A Mini Album In Top 10 Simultaneously
• TXT Becomes 1st Foreign Act To Top Oricon’s Weekly Album Chart With 7 Consecutive Albums
• NewJeans Becomes 1st Idol Group In History To Rank In Top 3 Spots On Melon’s Monthly Chart

HEALTH

• DRIPPIN’s Alex To Temporarily Halt Activities For Health Reasons
• ITZY’s Yuna Sits Out Schedule + Postpones Event Due To Health

GENERAL NEWS

• Red Velvet’s Wendy And MeloMance Sing Of A “Miracle” In Breathtaking Live Video
• YG’s New Girl Group BABYMONSTER Introduces Japanese Member Asa With Live Performance Video
• Billlie’s Moon Sua And Tsuki + woo!ah!’s Nana Confirmed As New MCs For “Show Champion”
• SEVENTEEN Launches New UNESCO Donation Campaign To Support Education Of Underprivileged Youth
• NCT’s Haechan To Resume Activities Starting With NCT 127’s Comeback
• J-Hope Releases Teaser For Documentary “j-hope IN THE BOX”
• Meta Idol Group MAVE: Debuts With “PANDORA” + To Showcase First Performance On “Music Core”
• All 6 MOMOLAND Members Part Ways With MLD Entertainment
• YOUNITE’s Woono To Sit Out Schedule After His Grandfather Passes Away
• YG’s New Girl Group BABYMONSTER Puts Spotlight On Member Rora In Live Performance Video
• DAWN Signs With New Label
• Girl’s Day’s Hyeri, (G)-IDLE’s Miyeon, LE SSERAFIM’s Kim Chaewon, Choi Ye Na, Leejung, And Patricia To Star In New Variety Show
• Weeekly Announces Official Colors AS Orchid Bloom, Banana Cream, and Beach Glass
• VICTON’s Seungsik Personally Announces Military Enlistment Date
• BlockBerryCreative Confirmed To Have Submitted Petition To Suspend Chuu’s Activities
• YG’s New Girl Group BABYMONSTER Showcases Thai Member Pharita In Live Performance Video
• Chuu Personally Addresses The Slanderous Reports And BlockBerryCreative’s Claims Against Her And LOONA Members
• N.Flying’s Cha Hun Announces Military Enlistment Date
• “Boys Planet” Contestant And Woollim Trainee Jang Min Seo Drops Out Of Show
• LE SSERAFIM’s Hong Eunchae Confirmed As New “Music Bank” MC
• LOONA’s ViVi And HyunJin Confirmed To Have Filed Injunctions To Suspend Contracts With BlockBerryCreative
• THE BOYZ’s Agency Apologizes For Featuring Hat With Rising Sun Flag In Group’s Latest Vlog
• C9 Shares Detailed Response Debunking Rumors Of Bullying Within CIX + To Potentially Take Legal Action
• SM And HYBE Warn Fans About Fraudulent Event Using NCT, SEVENTEEN, And ENHYPEN’s Names
• EXO’s Baekhyun Is DIscharged From The Military + Shares Messages With Fans
• YG’s New Girl Group BABYMONSTER Introduces Final Member Ruka With Live Performance Video

UPCOMING RELEASES

ARTIST	TITLE	RELEASE DATE	RELEASE TIME (KST)
BSS (BooSeokSoon)	Second Wind	February 6	6 p.m
NCT DREAM	Best Friend Ever (JP)	February 8	TBD
tripleS	ASSEMBLE	February 13	TBD
Key	Killer	February 13	6 p.m
STAYC	Teddy Bear	February 14	6 p.m
TRI.BE	W.A.Y	February 14	6 p.m
LIMELIGHT	Honestly	February 14	TBD
Hyojin (ONF)	Love Things	February 14	6 p.m
PURPLE KISS	Sweet Juice	February 15	6 p.m
JAY B (GOT7)	Seasonal Hiatus	February 15	TBD
TNX	I Need U	February 15	6 p.m
OnlyOneOf	chrOme arts (Jp)	February 15	TBD
THE BOYZ	BE AWAKE	February 20	12 p.m
Stray Kids	THE SOUND (Jp)	February 22	TBD
CLASS:y	TARGET (Jp)	February 22	TBD
Hwang Minhyun	Truth Or Lie	February 27	6 p.m